Hearts of Lyrium and Magik
by ladyinquisitor93
Summary: Melisandria Hawke is a mage from Lothering who protected her family and got them safely to Kirkwall. Follow her as she finds her companions, fights to provide for her family, and falls in love. Will she be able to handle it all or will she lose herself forever? This is based of Dragon Age II, with a different flare and does include dialogue from the game, and some mature content.
1. Chapter 1

_They ran for their lives. They fled their home, burning to ash in the wake of the horde, running as fast as they could from the onslaught of the darkspawn. Panting, Leandra fell to her knees, the darkspawn closing quickly. Bethany threw a fireball at the darkspawn, burning only one. Melisandria slashed at another with the blade end of her staff while Carver jumped over her and slashed the last darkspawn in half._

 _As the fire from Bethany's spell still burned, the Hawke family- what was left of them- gathered together for a moment._

 _"_ _I think that's all of them." Carver said._

 _"_ _For the moment." Bethany added._

 _Leandra, rather heavily, said, "Maker save us, we've lost it all. Everything your father and I built..."_

 _Melisandria looked at her mother, feeling sorry for her and her family. "I know how much Lothering meant to you, but we have to move."_

 _Sighing, Leandra agreed. "Yes. You're right."_

 _Bethany, angrily looked at Carver and said, "We should have run sooner! Why did we wait so long?"_

 _"_ _Why are you looking at me? I've been running since Ostagar!" he replied in defense._

 _Being the older sister and the voice of reason at the moment, Melisandria said, "Listen, you two. The darkspawn could be on us any minute."_

 _Behind them, a few darkspawn danced on the other side of fire barrier. Leandra, desperate for her children to listen to Melisandria, said, "Please! Listen to your sister."_

 _"_ _Then let's go." Carver said, looking at his older sister. "Lead on."_

 _They started to run again, trying to get even further from the horde as possible. After some time, though, Bethany stopped. "Wait! Where are we going?"_

 _"_ _Away from the darkspawn. Where else?" Carver replied._

 _"_ _And then where?" Bethany asked. "We can't just wander aimlessly!"_

 _Melisandria came up to her siblings. "Wherever we go, what's important is that we don't separate."_

 _Leandra, thinking for a moment, interjects. "We can go to Kirkwall."_

 _"_ _Kirkwall?" Melisandria asked. "Are you sure that's wise?"_

 _"_ _There's a lot of Templars in Kirkwall, Mother..." Bethany pointed out._

 _"_ _I know that," Leandra said, "but we still have family there- and an estate."_

 _Sighing in defeat, Bethany replied, "Then we need to get to Gwaren and take ship."_

 _Then, being his solemn and broody self, Carver said, "If we survive that long. I'll just be happy to get out of here."_

 _They continued down the pathway, fighting any darkspawn that got in their way and protecting each other and their mother. After a while, they came across a red haired woman and a Templar that were fighting a losing battle against a large group of darkspawn. They both seemed to be rather skilled warriors, but a Hurlock came up behind the Templar and sliced into his side. The Templar fell to his knees, backed up against a stone wall. As the Hurlock advanced, the woman tackled it and beat it._

 _"_ _You will not have him!" she cried as she grabbed her blade and cut off the Hurlock's head._

 _She grabbed the Templar's shield and ran to him. "They will not have you." she said to him and took a defensive stance. "Not while I breathe."_

 _Melisandria and her siblings ran to aid them. They helped fight off the rest of the group of darkspawn. When they were all dead, the woman went to the Templar._

 _"_ _Stop squirming, Wesley. You'll make it worse." she said as she began to examine his wound._

 _The Templar stood and glared at Melisandria and Bethany. "Apostates, keep your distance."_

 _"_ _Well, the Maker has a sense of humor." Bethany said in response. "Darkspawn, and now a Templar. I thought they all abandoned Lothering."_

 _"_ _The 'spawn are clear in their intent, but a mage is always unknown. The Order dictates..." Wesley retorted._

 _"_ _Wesley." the woman started._

 _"_ _The Order dictates..." Wesley tried to continue._

 _"_ _Dear, they saved us. The Maker understands." the woman said, stopping the Templar._

 _"_ _Of course," he replied, backing off a bit._

 _"_ _I am Aveline Vallen." the woman began, introducing herself. "This is my husband, Ser Wesley. We can hate each other when we're safe from the horde."_

 _"_ _A strange time to be hunting apostates. His fellows left with the Chantry priests." Melisandria stated._

 _"_ _I was traveling to Denerim on business for the Order, but I had to turn south when I heard of Ostagar." Wesley explained._

 _"_ _Bad luck- and judgment- brought us together here before the attack." Aveline added._

 _Bethany, rather sarcastically, said, "The nice Templar has been convinced to postpone his hunt for illegal mages. So let's not dwell upon it, shall we?"_

 _"_ _Wise girl." Aveline remarked._

 _Still unsure of how to take the company of the Templar and his wife, Melisandria continued to find out more. "You're quick to offer your allegiance."_

 _"_ _Another blade between us and the darkspawn?" Carver commented. "Yes, please."_

 _"_ _So long as the horde is their first concern." Bethany said._

 _"_ _My duty is clear, but that..." Wesley started, "is for another day. If we are granted that opportunity."_

 _"_ _We will be fine... We all will." Aveline said in agreement._

 _"_ _For a while it looked like we were the only ones to escape the darkspawn." Melisandria mentioned to the others._

 _"_ _We aren't free of them yet. You didn't see Ostagar. This is just the start." Carver pointed out._

 _Surprised, Aveline said, "You were there? Yes, I see it now. Third company, under Captain Varel."_

 _"_ _Then you saw how the whole of the army was defeated." Carver replied._

 _"_ _We fell to betrayal, not the darkspawn. This arm of the horde will not have the same advantage." Aveline replied._

 _Still uneasy about having a Templar in their midst, Melisandria said, "I'm watching you, Templar."_

 _"_ _And I you. Terms I am sure we both expected." Wesley retorted._

 _"_ _For now," Aveline said, "we move with you. North is cut off. We barely escaped the main body of the horde."_

 _Suddenly sounding more fearful than before, Carver said, "Then... we're trapped! The Wilds are to the south! That's no way out!"_

 _"_ _We have no choice." Melisandria replied. "The darkspawn have us fenced in. We go south."_

 _They continued their way through the outer lands to the Wilds. As they fought their way through more and more darkspawn, they finally come across a large clearing. There was not a darkspawn in sight and it looked like they might finally be safe. But then the ground started to shake and up the hill came the largest ogre Melisandria had ever seen._

 _It roared and turned to face the Hawke family and their companions. Bethany, trying to be the hero, cried out, "Maker give me strength!" And with that, she threw every ounce of magik she could muster at the ogre, but to no avail._

 _The ogre brushed off her spells like they were merely flies. It grabbed Bethany and shook her violently, smashing her against the ground several times before throwing her broken body aside._ _Leandra ran to her baby girl's side, calling out her name. Shielding her daughter's body, Leandra watched as Melisandria and Carver slay the ogre that murdered their sister._ _After the ogre was dead, Melisandria and Carver ran to their mother._

 _"_ _Bethany, wake up!" Leandra said, calling for her daughter. "The battle's over! We're fine!"_

 _Aveline came up to Leandra and said in sympathy, "I'm sorry, Mistress. Your daughter is gone."_

 _Leandra burst into tears, hunched over her dead daughter's body, shoulders heaving with her sobs. "No!" she cried. "These things will not take Bethany!"_

 _Kneeling next to her mother, Melisandria said, "Bethany risked her life to save us."_

 _"_ _I don't want a hero! I want my daughter!" Leandra retorted through her tears. "How could you let her charge off like that? Oh, my poor little girl. My sweetheart."_

 _Even through his own sadness, Carver said, "If we stand here weeping, the darkspawn will take the rest of us, too."_

 _Wesley came up and offered to say a prayer for Bethany, despite her being an apostate. "Ashes we were, and ashes we become. Maker, give this young woman a place at your side. Let us take comfort in the peace she has found in eternity."_

 _Leandra moved Bethany's head from her lap and onto the ground, whispering, "I will never forget you, Bethany."_

Waking up in a cold sweat, Melisandria looked around. It was just a dream. Another restless night filled with nightmares of their escape from Lothering. She swung her legs out of her bed and let her feet touch the grimy, dirty wooden floors of her uncle's home. Rubbing her eyes, she pulled her long hair over her shoulder and braided it into a loose braid, which made her hair look almost half the length it was usually. She looked at her mabari, Hammer, fast asleep on the floor.

"Good boy." she whispered, lightly rubbing his head. Hammer grunted in his sleep. Melisandria went to find something to eat, but seeing nothing in her uncle's stock, she decided to get dressed and go to the Hanged Man. She saw Carver passed out in his bed, then went to check on her mother. Satisfied, Melisandria left her "home" and walked to the Hanged Man.

When she reached the Hanged Man, she said good morning to Varric and grabbed some breakfast. Finishing her breakfast, Melisandria went to Hightown to get some decent food for her family with the coin she and Carver had earned from one of their last jobs. She bought enough food and supplies to last a few weeks. As she was making her way back to Lowtown, a group of children ran passed her, one of them bumping into her. The child fell hard to the ground and wounded his knee. He had managed to knock some of the sacks Melisandria was carrying out of her grasp.

"Are you alright, child?" she asked, ignoring her things and hurrying to the boy.

"It hurts..." his whimpers turning into sobs.

Melisandria recognized the boy and his friends from Lowtown. They loved to run all over the city, playing together and stirring up small trouble. They had nothing better to do and most of them were orphans. She looked around and it appeared that no one was watching.

Melisandria pulled the boy into her arms and sat him on her lap. She placed her hand over the boy's knee and used a simple healing spell to heal the wound. The boy seemed frightened and his sobs had grown silent, but when he felt no more pain, he stared at her in awe. She put a finger to her lips, helped the boy stand, and looked at him.

"What is your name, child?" she asked him.

"L-Liam, serah." he stammered.

Melisandria smiled and placed fifteen silvers in his hand. "This will be our little secret, Liam. Now go and have fun." She handed him a small sack of provisions and a tiny coin purse. "Take this food for you and your friends and use the silver sparingly." she said, softly.

Liam smiled and thanked her before he ran off to his friends. Melisandria smiled as the children disappeared. Turning back to her sacks, she picked up the things that had spilled out of them and put them back into the sacks before tying them, then hoisted them onto her shoulders. She hadn't realized that Fenris had watched the entire thing.

Fenris was a new companion. He was an elf from Tevinter and an escaped slave who had fought for his freedom from his former master. He was still being hunted by hired thugs, but so far he had managed to give his former master and his hunters pause.

She had only walked a short way before Fenris came up next to her and grabbed one of the sacks from her.

"Allow me to assist you." he said.

Not knowing what to do or really what to say, Melisandria thanked him and they walked silently backed to Lowtown.

"I am curious." Fenris started to say. "I saw what you did. Why did you help that child? Why would you risk exposing yourself for a random child that had such a minor wound?"

Melisandria stopped and looked at him. "That child is Liam, and I helped him because I felt like I should. He was hurt and crying, and he is nothing more than a child, and an orphan. Someone had to help him, else it would have gotten infected and with the way things are in Lowtown, I may never have seen him again."

"Why did you give him food I assume you bought for your family?" he asked.

"Someone has to look out for these children. Most of them are orphans." she replied. "No one takes the time to give them a second glance, but I understand their pain. They are refugees, fighting to make something better for themselves. If the children here can find a way to smile and have fun, why shouldn't we?"

After that, they returned to walking silence. Fenris followed Melisandria to her uncle's home and helped her carry things inside.

Leandra, Carver, and Gamlen all looked at them-having gotten up sometime before they returned- as if they were surprised to see them together.

"There's another letter for you on the desk, my dear." Gamlen said, sounding annoyed that she received yet another letter.

Carver came and took the sacks from Fenris and his sister as Melisandria went to the desk to have a look at the letter.

"Anders needs me to meet him in Darktown." Melisandria murmured to herself as she read the letter.

"What is it, dear?" Leandra asked.

"Oh, nothing, Mother. A friend just needs some help. I'm going over to Darktown to see what they need." she replied.

Carver looked at her in a way that showed he knew that she was speaking of Anders. Melisandria bade her family farewell and took Hammer with her so that he could get some fresh air.

Fenris continued to walk with Melisandria and Hammer as the mabari trotted a little ways ahead of them. They walked in silence, Fenris acting his broody self. Melisandria nodded hello to the people she knew as they passed by. Making her way to Darktown, Melisandria stopped for a moment and turned to Fenris.

"Why are you still here, Fenris?"

"I choose to be."

"Please forgive me if I seem ungrateful for the company, but you don't seem to favor mages." Melisandria pointed out.

Fenris chuckled, surprising Melisandria. "I understand. You have helped me in ways that I would never have expected. You have been a good companion and I have not seen any glimpse of you turning into the monster Danarius is."

Melisandria smiled, feeling relieved. "I am always willing to help. It is good to have you along, though. I appreciate your skills and your company."

Fenris' face softened. "You have a beautiful smile, Hawke."

Blushing slightly, Melisandria replied, "You don't have to call me Hawke. It's so formal. We're friends now, Fenris. You can just call me Mel."

"As you wish, Mel." Fenris said with a smile.

They continued on their way to Darktown to find Anders. Many of the children that passed them- Liam amongst them- bade them hello and ran around a bit with Hammer, playing catch before Melisandria called Hammer away. She promised that she would bring him by later so that they could play more. It was strange that a mabari could be so free spirited like a normal hound. A mabari was bred for war, yet Hammer could be as gentle as a kitten with people he knew posed no threat to him or his family.

When they reached Darktown, Melisandria waved briefly to Tomwise, the elf merchant who sold poisons. Fenris walked silently beside Melisandria as they made their way through the tight hallways and tunnels that led to Ander's clinic. Fenris watched how Melisandria interacted with everyone passed by, saying hello and good day to acquaintances and hugging the children that gathered around her. It seemed that no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, Fenris couldn't help but see that Melisandria was truly a good person, despite her being a mage. She used her magik to help others, never using it in anger or frustration and only to protect herself and those she held dear to her and only to survive. He respected her for that and felt as if he could truly have a friend, even if they were a mage.

As soon as they walked through the doors of Anders' clinic, Anders looked up and called her over.

"Hawke, I am so glad you're here. We have been overrun with refugees coming in. I am overwhelmed and I know you can use healing magik. Please, help me heal these people?" he asked in desperation.

"Of course, Anders." Melisandria replied, setting her staff against a nearby wall. "Where do you need me to start?"

Anders pointed to a mother and her child. "That child was brought in with a head injury. It seems like there may be some internal bleeding."

"I'll take care of it, don't worry." Melisandria smiled and went over to the mother and her child.

Fenris watched as Melisandria asked the mother what her name was and what her child's name was. He watched as she rolled up the sleeves of her tunic and began to search the child's body with her magik, looking for any further damage.

"What happened to your daughter, Mistress?" Melisandria asked, placing a hand on the girl's head.

"She fell. I told her not to play in the window, but she..." the mother tried to explain.

Melisandria put a hand on her shoulder. "It'll be alright. Your daughter is strong, I can feel it. I can fix her injuries."

The woman nodded and Fenris watched as Melisandria placed her forehead against the girl's, closing her eyes. He watched her breath in deeply and his eyes widened as she began to glow. It seemed as if the room became silent, all eyes turned to gaze at Melisandria as she used her magik to heal the head injury of this child, bringing her back into perfect health. Fenris watched as the child began to breathe normally again as Melisandria's breathing grew ragged from exhaustion. She sat up and sighed, having put a lot of her energy into healing the injury.

Fenris glanced at Anders, who was gazing in amazement as the little girl sat up and hugged Melisandria. Smirking, Fenris looked back at Melisandria and watched as she hugged the child tightly in return, told her to be more careful and somehow manage energy enough to get up and move on to the next person. He watched in amazement as she wandered from person to person, using her energy to heal these refugees, people that no one would really miss. When everyone had been healed and were on their way, Melisandria sank to a bench as Hammer came to set his head on her lap.

"Hey, boy. I'm alright." she said reassuringly.

Hammer whined quietly, making certain that she was doing OK. She ruffled her mabari's ears and smiled as he licked her hand.

"Thank you, Hawke." Anders said as he came up, just as exhausted. "I appreciate your assistance down here."

Melisandria smiled tiredly and nodded. "Of course, Anders. We are friends; you should know by now that you can always count on me."

Anders smiled in return, having really grown fond of her in ways that he didn't think possible but just as he was about to say something, he was pulled away for another refugee. Fenris helped Melisandria to her feet.

"You need to get home and get some rest." he said as he put an arm firmly around her waist.

"I won't be able to make it to Lowtown from here in this state, nor can I stay here with Anders. Having two apostates in one area together like this for much longer and there could be problems."

"Agreed." Fenris replied. "I will take you to Hightown. You may rest at the mansion."

Melisandria knew he was speaking of the mansion he took from Danarius. It was closer than Lowtown was, but it would still be a long trip.

"I have an idea." she said. "Help me over to that opening there." She pointed at the entrance to the cellar of the Amell Estate, the one she and Carver had used to find their grandfather's will.

Fenris helped her walk over to the entrance and watched as she took the key from her pocket. Unlocking the cellar door, he helped her inside. She locked it behind them and insisted on using her staff to walk the rest of the way by herself. Fenris looked around as they went through the rooms to the vault door.

"What is this place?" he asked.

Hammer trotted next to Melisandria as they made their way forward. "It is the cellar of my family's estate."

"You have an estate, yet you live in Lowtown?"

"It's not that simple, Fenris. When my mother left Kirkwall to marry my father, she left everything. Her family, the Amells, owned this estate. With my mother in Lothering, my uncle was left to care for my grandparents when they became ill. On his death bed, my grandfather called out my mother's name. This infuriated Gamlen, so when both his mother and father had passed on, he gambled away the estate and the money that belonged to my mother. He lost the estate to slavers, and as such, it soon became a base for their trade. Carver and I wanted to find our grandfather's will, find out what really happened with the estate and the money."

Fenris smirked at the thought of Melisandria hurling balls of fire or ice at the slavers, incinerating or freezing them to death.

Melisandria continued, "Mother gave us her old key to the cellar door and we managed to get rid of all of the slavers. We found the will and learned that everything had been left to Mother and that Gamlen was only given a stipend, to be controlled by Mother. We had everything, but that idiot of an uncle of mine lost it all. Now, Carver and I are going on these jobs to earn enough coin to help Varric and his brother, Bartrand, fund their expedition into the Deep Roads. Mother has an audience with the viscount to petition for the rights to the estate, but the treasure that we could find in the Deep Roads could give us enough coin to buy back the family estate. It would be nice to live here, but at the very least, Mother deserves much better than the hovel Gamlen calls home."

Fenris, at that moment, realized how much family really meant to Melisandria. She was willing to go into darkspawn infested tunnels to seek treasure that may or may not even be there. She was willing to risk her life in order to try for a chance to give her mother back her home, for a chance at a better life. Either she was incredibly brave, or she was incredibly foolish.

Fenris helped Melisandria up the stairs, though she had regained enough energy and strength back to not need much assistance. They left the estate through a back door and Melisandria locked the door. She looked at the estate, a longing in her eyes.

"One day, soon, Mother, you'll be back home." she said to herself.

She started to walk and Fenris guided her to his mansion- borrowed or not, it was still his at this point. It was dark outside, so it must have been hours that they were in Anders' clinic. Fenris never thought to have ever spent this much time with a mage, with a woman in fact, but here he was, helping her to his home and offering her a place to rest and regain her strength. He opened the door for her and let Hammer in first before he helped her inside. It seemed as if her energy was gone again as she sank to her knees, trying to support herself on her staff.

"Are you alright, Mel?" Fenris asked, kneeling next to her.

She nodded, but he could see that she was drained of her energy. He scooped her into his arms and lifted her as if a man would do for his newly wedded bride. He carried her into his chambers and set her gently on the bed. He set her staff next to her against the wall and grabbed a blanket from a nearby chair. He pulled it over her and made certain that she was alright.

"Thank you, Fenris. I'm glad I have you to look after me." Melisandria murmured as Fenris tucked the blanket in around her shoulders.

He smiled softly, not sure why or what to say or do at that point. Melisandria fell asleep rather quickly, but Fenris felt the need to stand guard, to keep close to her just to be safe.

Fenris sat in a nearby chair and watched Melisandria sleep. She was a very beautiful woman. She was kind, strong both physically and mentally, had an amazing control over her magik, and always looked out for everyone she met. Whether they were an enemy or not, she always tried to find the most diplomatic solution. He found that the more time he spent with her, the more he grew to respect her. Here was a woman barely twenty years old, trying to survive in a world that outcasted many mages, a world in which she had lost her father, her sister, and her family's home and heritage. She was fighting for what she believed in, always helping those in need. There weren't many people like that anymore, but Fenris was glad to have met her. He didn't even mind her nature as a mage so much anymore. He had seen how firm of a grasp she held on her magik and how hard she tried to keep it in check.

Hammer came to sit next to Fenris.

"You are a lucky hound, Hammer. You have a truly remarkable companion." he said to the mabari, nodding towards Melisandria.

Hammer seemed to smile and licked Fenris' hand. Fenris in return rubbed his ears as he looked at Melisandria. She slept peacefully, curled up silently into a ball for warmth. She seemed content. Fenris didn't know how long it was that he sat there and watched her sleep, but eventually he too slipped into a deep slumber.

Hours must have gone on before Fenris awoke, but it was to the cries of Melisandria as her nightmares of escaping Lothering came flooded back. Fenris rushed to her side and tried to call to her, grasping her shoulders. He shook her slightly before she woke with a start, calling out for Bethany.

Melisandria looked around, seeing that is was just a dream. Fenris was sitting next to her on the bed, a worried look in his eyes. She tried to show that she was alright, but the pain of watching her sister die over and over again was too painful. She could feel the tears brewing, spilling over and down her cheeks. She put her face in her hands and began to cry silently. Fenris had never been in a situation such as this before, not even when he was still a slave. He had no idea what to do, so he just pulled her into his arms and held her, allowing her to cry into his chest.

The cold touch of Fenris' armor seemed soothing to Melisandria, as it cooled her face and gradually dissipated her headache. The comfort of his arms holding her made her feel safe, like everything bad in the world would simply disappear. Fenris continued to hold her, trying to comfort her in a way that he was unsure that he could. When the tears finally stopped, Melisandria looked up at Fenris.

"I'm so sorry... I never meant for that to happen..." she said, a little embarrassed.

"Are you alright?" he asked, clearly concerned.

Melisandria nodded and sat up a little bit, though Fenris seemed to want to hold onto to her for a bit longer.

"I keep having these nightmares about when we escaped from Lothering, usually the center of it all being Bethany being killed by that ogre." she tried to explain. "Every night, it's the same dream, but it keeps getting worse and worse."

"You never talked with your family about this?" Fenris asked, loosening his grip slightly.

Melisandria laid her head against Fenris' chest again. "I don't want them to worry. I always try to put on a happy face, be strong for Mother; not show Carver that I'm just a blubbering idiot girl crying for her baby sister. I try so hard that I seem to have kept bottled up inside far too long. This time it was too much for me to bare."

Fenris hugged her before she pushed away gently, sitting back to look at him.

"I appreciate this, Fenris." she said. "You being here, allowing me to stay here for a while to regain my strength, letting me cry my eyes out over something that doesn't even involve you."

Fenris stood and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. "We are friends, Mel. I do not normally deal with matters such as this, but I am willing to try." Melisandria touched his hand in thanks before he smiled and walked away. "Get some rest, Mel. I will be in the next room, should you have need of me."

Fenris left the room, closing the door slightly behind him. Melisandria wondered what was going through his head. Here she was, a mage, in the home of an elf who had such hatred for mages for the horrifying things they had done to him, yet he treated her like anyone else. She pulled the blankets close to her chest and stood. She walked quietly to the door and opened it. It was silent, surprising as the mansion was very old. She made her way down the hall to the room where she had first spoken with Fenris after he agreed to join her group. She saw him standing by the window, looking out over Hightown. He seemed to always be on guard, but he seemed to have also gotten comfortable in this new home.

She watched him move from the window to a chair near the fireplace. He sat down and put his head in his hands. She wasn't sure, but she heard him mutter her name to himself. Hammer had come up behind her and pushed his way into the room. Melisandria was still far enough away to where Fenris could not see her, but when he scratched Hammer's ears, he looked up as if he expected to see her standing there. Sighing, she went back to the chambers and sat on the bed.

There were so many things running through her head that she felt as if it would begin to spin and just pop right off her shoulders. She felt a strange sensation in her stomach each time she was near Fenris. 'Am I falling in love with him?' she wondered. 'Would he even care to look at me the same way? He hates mages, yet he treats me no different than the others treat me. We're friends and companions, yet somehow he seems OK with my being a mage at this point.'

Shaking her head, Melisandria tried to sleep, but could not. She sat there for some time before she felt the sudden urge to check on Fenris. She went back to the room and found him asleep in the same chair he was sitting in before. Smiling as she saw Hammer next to him, she pulled the blanket from her shoulders and laid it gently on Fenris, covering his body and shielding it from the cold. Hammer lifted his head sleepily, knowing it was time to leave and wandered off to the front door. Melisandria wrote Fenris a quick note, thanking him for everything and told him how much she truly appreciated his friendship. They had only known each other for a few months, but it was enough to where Melisandria had grown fond of him. She placed the note in his lap and placed a soft, but warm kiss on his cheek before she left.

"Sleep well, Fenris, my friend. I shall see you soon." she whispered as she closed the door.

Hammer followed her outside after she had grabbed her staff. They walked the streets of Hightown, making their way through and on down to Lowtown. Melisandria figured her mother and brother would be worried, fearful the Templars may have gotten her. Smiling, she looked back towards Fenris' mansion before she sighed and continued on her way.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Fenris woke to find Melisandria's letter and himself wrapped in the blanket. He read through the letter and knew she left during the night. He set aside the blanket and went to find some breakfast. Finding an apple and some bread, he wolfed down the bread and left the mansion as he began to chow down on the large apple. As he walked outside, the boy from the day before, Liam, came up to him.

"Good day, ser, could you please give this to Mistress Hawke?" Liam asked, handing Fenris a small package. "I never got to thank her good and proper when she fixed my knee."

"I will deliver it to her, yes." Fenris agreed, unsure why he agreed so quickly.

Liam smiled and ran off, leaving Fenris with a small package in one hand and an apple in the other, unsure of what to do next.

"I guess I must go to Lowtown today." he said to himself.

So he made his way through Hightown to the large stairwell that led to Lowtown. When he reached Melisandria's home, he knocked on the door. Leandra answered.

"Oh, you're the elf from yesterday. Are you here to see my daughter?" she asked, clearly surprised to see him.

"Indeed, if I may come in, Mistress?" Fenris replied, trying to be as polite as he could.

Leandra let him in and Hammer came right up to him as he stepped inside.

"Good to see you as well, Hammer." Fenris said as he rubbed the mabari's ears.

"Mel is in her room." Leandra said, pointing to the room as she used her daughter's childhood nickname.

Fenris nodded in thanks and held the package tightly as he went to Melisandria's room.

He knocked on the door and pushed it open. Melisandria was laying on her side in bed, wearing nothing more than a light blue tunic and cropped leggings, reading a book. Her hair was undone and left out of its usual braid, long and flowing in waves over her shoulder. Fenris had never seen her with her hair down before, but her beauty was enhanced by her luxurious raven black hair. Fenris couldn't take his eyes off her and when she looked up in surprise, Fenris blushed and held out the package for her.

"I was asked to give this to you. It is from that boy you helped, Liam." he said.

Melisandria sat up and put the book aside as she took the package. She opened it to find an amulet bearing a wolf's head. A note was also inside:

 _'"Mistress Hawke,_

 _Thank you for helping me yesterday._

 _I wanted to properly thank you, but I have no coin._

 _My family died in Lothering, and my friend Carter's family took me in._

 _This amulet was my mother's, the wolf being the guardian of her family._

 _I want you to have it as thanks for healing me and for always taking such good care of all the children in Lowtown._

 _No one has ever done that before you came along. Do not worry, your secret is safe with me. If you ever need anything, please let me know._

 _~Liam"_

Melisandria smiled after she read the note. She took the amulet and tried to hook it around her neck. Seeing that she was having difficulties, Fenris held out his hand.

"May I?"

Nodding, she handed him the amulet and stood, turning her back to him and lifting her hair out of the way. Fenris hooked the chain around her neck, but as she turned around, his hand remained on her neck. When their eyes met, they both blushed as their green eyes locked for a brief moment. It seemed like quite some time had passed before someone cleared their throat behind them.

"Mother?" Melisandria asked, looking toward Leandra in the door frame.

"I just wanted to check to make sure you and your... friend were doing alright."

Smiling, Melisandria went to hug her mother, kissing her on the cheek. "We're fine, Mother. Fenris was just delivering a package to me from a young boy that I helped out the other day."

Leandra noticed the amulet and smiled. "Did Liam get into trouble again?"

"Yes." Melisandria replied, a smile upon her face.

Leandra rolled her eyes in amusement. "That boy is just too spirited sometimes. Reminds me of Carver when he was a boy."

Melisandria chuckled at that, remembering the times that Carver ran off with his friends to play soldier, always stirring up trouble.

"Well, why don't you two go out and relax for the day?" Leandra suggested. "It's a lovely day, you have no jobs at the moment, go out and enjoy yourselves."

Melisandria looked at Fenris and he nodded. "Very well, Mistress."

Leandra left them to their business. Melisandria looked at her clothes and then back at Fenris.

"Would you wait outside? I'll change quickly." she asked.

Fenris blushed and nodded, leaving her room. He waited out in the main room of Gamlen's home, Hammer sitting next to him.

"I hope you have no ill intentions toward my sister, elf." Carver said as he came into the room.

"We are friends, Carver. Nothing more." Fenris replied.

"If you hurt Mel, whether you remain as friends or become more than that, I will hunt you down like those slavers have been." Carver warned, suddenly getting very protective of his older sister.

Fenris looked at him and saw that he was serious, but became agitated when Carver made the slavers comment.

"If I were you, boy, I would mind that snide tongue of yours. I will not let your sister come to harm, this I swear."

Carver didn't seem to care for the retaliation Fenris gave him, but he knew at that moment that Fenris was serious and swore to protect his sister. Even if he was only the baby brother, he still felt the need to protect Melisandria. He never hated her, but he didn't like having to constantly hide and running after his sister whenever she got into trouble or got too close to exposing their family's secret.

Melisandria came out of her room wearing a red tunic and soft leather leggings, black leather boots, and had left her hair down. She had a small leather pack with her, just in case they needed anything while they were out and about.

"I am ready to go if you are." she said.

Fenris stared at her for a moment, her beauty almost overwhelming.

"Fenris?" she asked.

When Fenris realized she was trying to talk to him, he shook his head. "We should move on."

Melisandria nodded, said goodbye to her family and left with Fenris. With Hammer trailing beside them, they walked the streets of Lowtown. Some time had passed before Melisandria said anything.

"Where would you like to go?"

"I have no preference. Where do you wish to go?" Fenris replied.

Melisandria thought for a moment, then smiled.

"I know where we can go." she said and beckoned for him to follow her.

Melisandria led Fenris out of Lowtown and out of Kirkwall entirely. She led him to a small clearing near the area where they had found the pure ironbark. Fenris looked around and wondered why they were there. He watched as a sense of joy played across Melisandria's face. She spun around in circles as Hammer danced around her. Fenris watched as she just let herself be free for a moment before stopping short and looking at him with embarrassment.

"Sorry, I just love coming here when I have some free time." she said with a guilty smile.

Fenris smiled. "It is good that you have somewhere you can go to escape and be free for a moment."

Melisandria looked around. "I love it here. It's quiet, beautiful, peaceful, and if I ever need to do some training, I can come here and be alone with my thoughts."

Fenris sat down on a small hill. Melisandria came to sit next to him while Hammer found something to chase and ran off for a bit.

"It is beautiful here." Fenris agreed.

Melisandria smiled and she opened her pack. Rummaging through it, she pulled out some bread, a couple of apples, some meat and cheese, and a bottle of wine.

"Hungry?" she asked.

Fenris had only eaten some bread and an apple himself, but that was some time ago. "I could eat."

Melisandria smiled and broke the loaf of bread in two, handing him a piece. "So, I always wanted to ask you something, but I was never sure how to put it."

Fenris took the piece of bread and looked at her. "What is it?"

Sighing, Melisandria looked out towards the coastline, watching as distant ships sailed past to dock near the Gallows. "I know it is silly of me to wonder this, but..." Looking at him, she continued. "Why are you still here?"

"What do you mean?" Fenris asked.

"I mean why are you still here in Kirkwall?" She asked, opening the bottle of wine and taking a swig from it before handing it to Fenris. "Why do you stay in my company and still travel with me? Danarius hasn't sent anyone in the past few weeks, though I understand it is too much to hope that he has gone forever, and I am a mage traveling with two other mages- one who bound himself to a spirit that no longer appears to be its namesake and purpose and one who delves into blood magik and dealing with demons- an angry brother who probably thinks he could be better off away from me, a dwarf- though Varric has become a good friend- who constantly jokes around and is rarely serious, and a Rivaini who lost her ship and only remains in Kirkwall to tag along until she finds this relic of hers. You could be off somewhere better, away from mages, away from it all."

Fenris watched her face as she said all of this, seeing the curiosity and urgency of this matter in her eyes. He could sense from her tone that she had been holding this back for quite some time, searching for the right moment to ask him. He thought about what she said carefully before he answered and took a swig from the bottle.

"Danarius is not dead, so he will send as many hunters as he can to retrieve me. Though we may not have seen his hunters of late, there will be more until he dies. As for our companions, Anders and Merrill both chose their fates, foolish as they may be, and they must deal with the consequences. Varric and Isabela are... interesting. They are both skilled in their art, though they do talk too much sometimes. Varric's connection to this expedition is key to you getting the chance to join them, so that you may buy back your family's estate. Isabela seems to have some good work for you, which gives you extra coin should you need it. I do not mind their company, but I feel that I should still watch the other mages closely."

Melisandria understood and laid back against the soft mossy hill. Fenris looked to the sky for a moment before he continued.

"As for why I am still here, I will wait for Danarius to come find me and I will end this for good. But most importantly, I am still here because of you."

Melisandria sat up and looked at him, trying to understand what he meant.

"You have been kinder to me than anyone that I have met with what memories I have. You helped me when we first met, though now even more than before I wish I hadn't lied or tricked you. I should have just asked for your help directly. But you have not given me reason to think that you will become like Danarius. I have watched you with Liam and his friends, caring for them as if you were their mother or at least their sister. You care about the people you encounter, always try to find the most diplomatic solution. You are a strong person, you have an incredible hold over your magik and I have yet to see you use it in anger; you only use it in defense or to help someone. You are beautiful and kind and you are the first person I have felt comfortable enough around to where I do not feel the need to hide from anyone or myself." he continued. He looked at Melisandria and smiled softly.

Melisandria saw the truth in his eyes and placed a hand on his. "I understand, Fenris. Forgive me, I shouldn't have doubted you staying here. I just hoped that it was because you had looked passed the mage part of me and stayed for reasons beyond that. Glad to hear I was right."

Fenris looked at her hand, small and soft compared to his armor covered and rough hand. An albatross flew by near them, and when they looked up, the sky was beginning to darken. They had already spent most of their day out in the Free Marches, enjoying a peaceful day without any worry or job to do.

"Fenris, can we stay just a little bit longer?" Melisandria asked him. "There's something really amazing that I want to show you that only happens at night once the moon comes out."

"Very well," Fenris said. "You have me intrigued."

So they waited, and not long either, and drank the wine until the sun had set and the moon had risen above Sundermount and into the night sky. The stars shined bright and Melisandria stood, offering Fenris a hand up. He took it and as she pulled him to his feet, the clearing began to glow around them. Little tiny flowers bloomed and glowed with a blue hue, their petals unfurling into large teardrop shapes. The vines that curled up some of the trees began to glow as their flowers bloomed.

"What are they?" Fenris asked.

"These are moon flowers. They are rare here, but even rarer so in Ferelden. I never would have found this place if I hadn't been chasing Hammer when he stole my staff a while ago and ran off with it." Melisandria said.

Fenris chuckled at the thought of her mabari running off with her staff like a pup chasing a stick.

Melisandria continued as she looked around at the moon flowers. "When I was a girl, my father used to take Carver, Bethany, and I to this clearing near the pass that led from Lothering to Ostagar. There were these small alcoves within the clearing where these moon flowers would grow. My father used to tell us that when the moon was full, the flowers would bloom and glow in its radiance." She stepped away for a moment and began to summon her magik. "Or, if you were skilled enough in magik, you could do this."

She moved her hands and feet as if to a dance in her head. She used her magik to lift some of the flowers from the ground, making them twirling and spin in a whirlwind of moon flowers, glowing ever brighter. The more she danced, the more her magik made the moon flowers glow brighter. When she changed the type of energy she was using for her magik, Melisandria was able to change the color of the moon flowers' glow. They went from a blue glow to white, then red to purple, then green, then back to blue. Fenris watched as Melisandria danced around the center of the clearing, creating a magikal light show of these flowers. She moved gracefully, using her magik perfectly.

A grouping of clouds passed in front of the moon and caused the moon flowers to curl up and close their petals as if to go to sleep. Melisandria smiled, though felt somewhat disappointed, and walked back to Fenris.

"I know you don't care much for magik, but I wanted to show you that. I am able to do the Dance of the Moon- as my father named it- and I wanted to show you that I do have control over my magik. I wanted to make sure that you knew that you could trust me, not just as a person, but as a mage." she said.

Fenris watched her face as she tried to explain herself. He smiled and put a hand to her cheek. "Mel, I trust you more than I ever thought that I could trust a mage. Danarius made me wary of any mage I came across, but you are a true mage who fights to protect those dear to you. You fight to survive but you never use your magik in anger or fear."

Melisandria was taken aback when he used her childhood nickname.

Fenris continued, "You are a true friend. You have nothing to fear."

The clouds moved on and the moon shined brighter than before, making the moon flowers burst open and glow with a magikal inferno. Melisandria looked at Fenris' markings as the lyrium in them began to glow with the flowers.

"Fenris, your markings..."

Fenris didn't care; he knew that the lyrium in his markings probably glowed with the lyrium in the moon flowers. He was so enthralled with Melisandria's beauty in the moon light that he couldn't help himself. He wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her into his chest, placing his lips on hers in a moment of passion. Melisandria was startled, but she felt the safety once again of Fenris holding her. She moved her hands up to his chest and immersed herself in his kiss.

They stood there kissing for what seemed like a century before Fenris pulled back. They blushed and Fenris let his grip loosen.

"I apologize. I do not know what came over me." he said.

"It's alright..." she replied.

"We should head back." Fenris pointed out, not sure what to do now.

Melisandria nodded and grabbed her pack. She whistled for Hammer and they began their trek back into Kirkwall when Hammer had rejoined them.

When they reached Kirkwall, they enter the city through Hightown. They walked to Fenris' mansion and Melisandria bade him goodnight.

"I had fun today, Fenris. Thank you." she said and kissed him on the cheek.

"I as well." Fenris replied and watched as she smiled and began to walk away. He stood there and waited until she was out of sight.

Fenris went inside the mansion and to his chambers. He lay down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. It had indeed been a wonderful night, and he had hoped that kissing Melisandria would not harm their relationship. The mere thought of her made his heart race. He couldn't think of a life in which she was not there. He let himself slip off to sleep, Melisandria still in his mind.

Melisandria walked home to Gamlen's house and when she got inside, her Mother was there waiting for her.

"It's late, Mel. You had me worried!" she said as she came up and hugged her daughter.

"I'm alright, Mother. I was with Fenris just outside of the city. You know, the clearing with the moon flowers like the ones Father used to take us to see?"

Leandra nodded, and smiled. "You have that look."

"What look?"

"The look that your grandmother said I had after your father and I had kissed for the first time."

Melisandria smiled and blushed.

"You and that young elf kissed, didn't you?"

Melisandria nodded and her mother smiled.

"Does he make you happy, Mel?"

"Yes, Mother, he does, but I don't know if it's going to be more than what it is now."

Leandra hugged her daughter. "Time will tell you soon enough. Let things run their course. I want you to be happy my dear."

Melisandria hugged her mother back and kissed her cheek. "I want you to be happy, too. Now let's get you to bed, Mother."

Melisandria took her mother to her room, made sure that she was tucked into bed and went to her own room. As she passed by Carver's room, she checked in on him and smiled when she saw him sprawled out on his bed passed out. She peeked in to check on her uncle as well; he too was passed out. Satisfied that her family was safe and asleep, Melisandria got comfortable in her own bed, not bothering to change. Soon, she too was fast asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

They traveled for a long time before they came to back to where they had originally started.

"This looks familiar." Melisandria said, looking around.

"We're back where we started, and only in five days. Not bad, eh?" Varric remarked.

Behind them, Carver said, "Think we could... take a break? I feel... wrong."

Melisandria looked at her brother. He looked like he was going to be sick. "Let's make camp if you're sick."

Varric chuckled. "I'll wager it was those deep mushrooms we found."

Carver fell to his knees. "No, it's..."

Melisandria felt her heart drop. "Carver!" she cried as she ran to him. She held his head in her lap, trying to comfort him.

"It's the blight. I can sense it." Anders said, coming up to them.

"Just like that templar, Wesley." Carver said. "I'll be just as dead, just as gone."

Shaking her head, Melisandria said, "I won't let that happen, brother. There must be some other way!"

"I'm not going to make it. Not to the surface, not anywhere. It's getting worse."

Melisandria looked at Carver, seeing the same signs in him as there was in Wesley. She looked at Anders as he said that there might be something they could do.

"I stole the maps from a Warden that had come to Kirkwall. I wanted to know if he was looking for me." Anders explained. "He wasn't. The maps were for planning their own expedition into the Deep Roads."

Hopeful, Melisandria asked, "Does that mean the Grey Wardens are here?"

"If the Wardens are here, I know where. We could bring Carver to them..."

Melisandria looked at her little brother.

"And, what? Become a Grey Warden?" Carver asked.

"Is becoming a Grey Warden a cure, Anders?" Melisandria asked.

"Yes, I suppose it is," he replied. "But it's not without a price- one not everyone is willing to pay."

"What does that mean?" Melisandria asked, trying to get all of the facts. "What price? Maker's breath, Anders, spit it out!"

"The process of becoming a Warden is... unpleasant. And irreversible." he explained, then he looked at Melisandria. "It also means you might never see your brother again."

Melisandria looked at Carver. Her baby brother, dying from the blight, after having insisted on coming with her. What would her mother think? She had to do something, something to save Carver's life.

"He might survive the blight, but at the cost of becoming a Grey Warden." Anders continued. "It's not an easy life. Trust me."

"You got away from them, Anders. You're not a Grey Warden anymore." Melisandria pointed out.

"You think I got away?" he asked. "Eventually they or the Circle will drag me back. I've got no illusions about that."

"Is this even possible? How does someone become a Grey Warden?"

"I can't tell you. But it's not something you can undo once it's done... even if you want to."

Melisandria looked at Carver. He was getting worse and worse the longer they waited.

Carver tried to lighten the mood by saying, "This just keeps sounding better and better..."

"They might agree to it, however." Anders added. "That's if we can find them in time."

Melisandria nodded. "If there's even a chance, we must take it. I can't lose Carver, too."

"Then I hope I'm right." Anders said.

Melisandria helped Carver up and they followed Anders. They walked a ways before Anders stopped.

"Hmm." he said, looking around.

"What's wrong?" Melisandria asked.

"I think they're nearby." he replied. But at the sound of darkspawn, he pointed out the obvious. "Or it could be darkspawn."

"Great..." Melisandria muttered as she readied herself for an onslaught of darkspawn.

It was a small group of darkspawn that took no time to dispose of. As Anders killed off the last few, a group of people came walking up.

"Anders." one of them said.

"Fancy meeting you here, Stroud." Anders replied.

"I could say the same." Stroud added. He wore the garb of the Grey Wardens. "I thought you were through fighting darkspawn."

"I'm not here to fight darkspawn." Anders said. "I came looking for you." He looked over as Melisandria helped Carver over, his arm hoisted over her shoulder.

"You... mean the boy as a recruit?" Stroud asked. "Of course you do."

"We came down here for an expedition to find an ancient thaig. We were betrayed when an associate of ours locked us in a chamber. We were forced to find another way out of the thaig, but..." Melisandria started to explain, as she looked at her brother. "My brother got sick as we reached the entrance we used to get in here in the first place." She looked back at Stroud. "Please, messere, you must know something that can help him. Anything!"

"I'm sorry." Stroud said, shaking his head. "I know this comes as no comfort to you, but we do not recruit Grey Wardens out of pity. It is no kindness."

"You think it's kinder to let Carver, my baby brother, die from the blight?" Melisandria asked, bewildered.

"Sometimes it is, yes."

Melisandria looked at Anders, silently pleading with him.

He saw the desperation in her eyes and felt his heart sink. Melisandria Hawke had stood by him through everything since they met, always supporting him at every turn. He began to fall in love with her, but wasn't sure if she felt the same way about him nor did he have the courage to ask her- especially with the way she acted around Fenris. Anders knew that no matter what, for the sake of their friendship and everything she has done for him, he needed to convince Stroud to save Carver and make him a Grey Warden.

"Stroud, trust me when I say this one is worth your time." he said. "With the Blight over, you Wardens don't have recruits lining up." he added.

"This is no simple thing, Anders." Stroud pointed out. "This may be as much a death sentence as the sickness, and you know it."

"I don't care!" Melisandria cried. "He is my brother and if there is a way- even if it is a long shot- to save him, then I have to take it! I lost Bethany to an ogre when we had to fight our way out of Lothering during the Blight and I couldn't save her. Now I am begging you, Ser Stroud. Please! Save my brother!"

Anders himself was beginning to feel desperate. "He'll die anyway. Take him and try..." He looked at Melisandria. "I'm asking you."

Stroud sighed. "If the boy comes, he comes now, and you may not see him again. Being a Grey Warden is not a care. It is a calling."

"I don't care," Melisandria said, trying to be strong for her brother. "Carver has always said that he needed to find his calling, find his own way. He hates having to always protect me; the least I can do is give him the chance to find his way, make himself into the person he wants to be."

Carver looked at his big sister. "Are you sure about this?"

"Carver, I wish it hadn't worked out this way." Melisandria replied, trying to smile.

Stroud looked at his men. "We must move quickly if we are to make the surface in time." He came over to Melisandria and Carver and took Carver's other arm, wrapping it over his shoulder and taking him from her.

"Then... I guess this is it." Carver said to his sister. "Take care of Mother."

"I will, Carver, I swear to you I will." Melisandria said, her eyes brimming with tears.

Trying to swallow them, Melisandria stood up straight and pulled her arms in close to her chest as she watched her brother leave with the Grey Wardens. When they disappeared from sight, Melisandria and her companions made their way to the surface. Melisandria managed to find a large ogre skeleton along their path, so she grabbed the largest bone she could carry for Hammer and they continued on their way. When they found their way back through the entrance and along the Wounded Coast, they made their way to Kirkwall, coming in through Lowtown.

"Home, sweet home. Finally." Varric said, sounding relieved. "I wonder if Bartrand came back to the city. You think I'd be that lucky?"

Melisandria sighed, her heart heavy. "Revenge isn't exactly the most pressing thin on my mind right now."

"I know." Varric replied. "I'm... sorry about what happened to your brother."

Melisandria tried to smile to show her appreciation.

"He'll make it." Anders said, trying to be supportive. "Carver's stronger than he thinks."

"Thank you, Anders. I know how being in the Deep Roads must have been hard for you, let alone trying to find the very people you were avoiding just to help me." Melisandria said as she hugged him.

Anders returned her hug, squeezing her tightly to comfort her. He let her go when she pulled away and looked towards the Old City Slums where her uncle's home was.

"I should have seen Bartrand's betrayal coming. I'll find that maggot if it's the last thing I do." Varric said. "I imagine you'll be heading home to... tell the family?"

Melisandria nodded. "I don't have much choice."

"You'll be a wealthy woman, Hawke. It wasn't all for nothing." Varric added.

"If only Carver were here to share in the glory." Melisandria said as she turned and walked away, bidding her companions goodbye as she tried to hide the tears that were falling from her eyes.

Anders and Varric watched Melisandria sunder away, her shoulders heavy and her arms wrapped tightly around herself, her packs, her staff, and the ogre bone hanging on her back. They could see how upset she was, but there was nothing that they could do. They went on their way as she disappeared around a corner and veered off to their own path home.

Melisandria opened the door to her uncle's home and walked inside, preparing herself for the worse. Her mother and uncle turned when they heard the door open. Hammer came running up to her, prancing around her, glad to have her home. She presented him with the ogre bone as promised, but he set it down and started whining.

"Oh, my baby! You made it home!" Leandra said, running to her daughter, but her face fell when she didn't see Carver by Melisandria's side. "Carver isn't with you?"

Melisandria shook her head. "He got sick with the blight, much like Ser Wesley did. Anders knew where to find some Grey Wardens, though, so we sought them out and they took him in."

"Is he... coming back?" Leandra asked, tears brewing.

"I don't know." Melisandria replied. "But he is alive…"

Leandra couldn't contain herself any longer and fell to her knees weeping. She had lost her husband and now both of her youngest children, not knowing if Carver survived becoming a Grey Warden. Melisandria knelt next to her mother, pulling her into a hug and letting her cry. She could feel her own tears spilling over and down her cheeks. Gamlen felt helpless, his sister and his only niece both crying. He rubbed Leandra's back, trying to comfort her in a way that he wasn't sure would help. Hammer lifted his head and howled for Carver, a lonely and sorrowful howl.

The next few days went by quickly. The treasure they found in the Deep Roads made them a fortune and Melisandria was able to buy back her family's estate from the slavers. She moved her mother into her old home and soon after, Bodahn Fedic and his son, Sandal, approached her.

"Mistress Hawke, we wish to repay the debt that we owe you." Bodahn began. "We wish to repay this debt by serving you."

Melisandria was taken aback. "Bodahn, there's no need. I was happy to help you and your boy."

Bodahn shook his head. "But I owe you a debt for saving his life. This is how I wish to repay you."

Smiling, Melisandria nodded knowing that no matter what she said, Bodahn would insist. "Very well, Bodahn. Besides, I could use the help around the estate."

Bodahn thanked her many times over and soon he and Sandal had moved in as well. Melisandria gave them their own rooms, seeing as she had three extra. Sandal insisted on sharing a room with his father, though, so they ended up taking the largest of the three rooms available.

Things began to progress rather nicely for Melisandria and her family. She had built a name for herself and everyone knew who she was. Even Viscount Dumar was beginning to take notice. The viscount requested Melisandria's presence shortly after she returned. He had asked her to speak with the Qunari Arishok, as he had asked for her by name. This surprised Melisandria, because she never gave her name. It seemed as if the presence of the Qunari was unsettling- more so than before- and they were beginning to wear their "welcome" thin. He had asked what she had done, and she was honest with him. Viscount Dumar asked if she would be willing to appease the Arishok.

Accepting, Melisandria decided to check up on everyone. She visited Aveline first, as she was the nearest and her first companion.

"Aveline, you look well." She said when she arrived at her office.

Aveline turned and smiled. "Hawke, long time no see. I hear that congratulations are in order. Seems you really turned things around for yourself."

"Thanks, Aveline. Have things been well while I've been away?" Melisandria asked.

"Good as they ever will be." she replied.

They sat for a short time longer and caught up on things. The guard was nearly repaired from what was left of former Captain Jeven's mess. Melisandria bade her farewell and moved on to visit Fenris. She left the Keep, but as she made her way down the stairs, Bodahn ran up to her with news.

"Ah, messere there you are!" he said, panting. "If only you humans didn't all look the same."

"What is it, Bodahn?"

"Varric wanted me to give this to you." Bodahn said, handing Melisandria a very large and heavy coin purse. "This is your share from the treasure you found in the Deep Roads, after what you had already received to buy your estate. Varric felt as if you needed a little extra after what happened to your brother."

"Thank you for bringing this to me, Bodahn." Melisandria said.

"I wanted to thank you again, messere, for letting my boy and I stay with you."

"I didn't ask for you to be my manservant, Bodahn." Melisandria said.

"But I owe you a debt. And I will serve you faithfully." Bodahn replied.

"I know you will, Bodahn, and I appreciate all the help you have been since we met." Melisandria said with a smile.

Bodahn nodded and left Melisandria to her business. Melisandria knew she needed to thank Varric, so she decided to stop by the Hanged Man to see him and Isabela after she visited Fenris. Stretching her arms above her head, Melisandria breathed in and began her walk to Fenris' mansion.

It had been weeks since she had seen him. She came to a stop at his front door and looked at it. She felt nervous, but she opened the door and stepped inside. Fenris never seemed to feel the need to lock the door, as he was an incredibly capable warrior. She walked through the main entry room and up the stairs to see if he was in his chambers. The door was closed, so she knocked. When the door opened and Fenris saw Melisandria standing there, his eyes widened and he pulled her into his arms.

Melisandria gasped, but being in his arms again felt wonderful.

"You're back..." he said, breathing in her scent.

"I'm back..." she replied, taking in his.

They held each other for a few minutes before Fenris pushed her away and took a good look at her. She looked tired, a little thin, and like she had been through the Fade and back. She was a little pale from a lack of sun, but she looked well. Melisandria saw that Fenris looked about as tired as she felt, like he hadn't been able to sleep for a while.

"How was the expedition?" Fenris asked, offering her a seat.

She sat down and he sat next to her. "The expedition was a success." Melisandria said with a smile and put the coin purse on the seat next to them. "Varric sent this over earlier. It's a part of my share from what we found."

Fenris picked it up and felt the weight of it. "That is quite the success, I gather."

"There was enough to buy back my family's estate and give my mother back her home." Melisandria added, relief in her tone.

"I'm happy for you." Fenris said, but he saw Melisandria's face fall. "What is it?"

"I... it's nothing..." Melisandria told him. "Carver caught the Blight and Anders, fortunately, knew where a group of Grey Wardens were. We took Carver to them and after some convincing and pleading, they took him in. I still haven't heard any news as to whether he survived or not."

"He may have survived, Mel, do not give up hope just yet."

"But I don't know when or where I will see him again; I may even never get to see him again." Melisandria replied, trying not to cry.

Fenris sighed, not knowing what to do or what to say. He could see how worried and upset Melisandria was, so he put a hand on hers and tried to be positive for her.

Trying to make a better mood for their conversation, Melisandria looked at him. "Enough about me, then. How have you been?"

"I have been well, considering. It has been three years and still no sign of Danarius. I wonder if he has given up." he replied, sounding almost disappointed.

"Hopefully he has, but isn't this what you wanted?" Melisandria asked him.

"Yes, but what am I to do now?" Fenris asked. "What do you do when you stop running?"

"You build a life, Fenris. Start over." Melisandria offered. "Find a way to move on with your life."

"I don't know how." Fenris said, standing. "My first memories are from receiving these markings, whatever life I had before it's gone." He looked at Melisandria, knowing she was just trying to help. "I shouldn't be troubling you with my issues, they are not your problems."

"They could be." Melisandria said with a smile. "Or, maybe I can give you a few more."

Smirking, Fenris replied, "Only a few?"

"The good kind." she added. "Fenris, we're friends. Whatever I can do for you, I want to do because I care about you. You're my companion, my friend, my ally- I would do anything for you."

"You're a beautiful woman, Melisandria Hawke." Fenris said, a hand to her cheek.

"You think I'm beautiful?" Melisandria asked, slightly taken aback.

"You know I do not like repeating myself." Fenris said with a smile. Then he began to wonder. "Has no one else gotten your attention?"

Melisandria smiled. "Do you see anyone else here?"

Fenris let his hand fall as he turned away, a sudden look of sadness on his face. "I'm an escaped slave and an elf, living in a borrowed mansion. None of these things bother you?"

Melisandria touched his shoulder. "Fenris, I'm a refugee and a mage, hiding behind a title and wealth to keep out of sight of the Templars. Does that not bother you?"

Fenris looked at her. She was being honest and trying to cheer him up. "You raise an interesting point," he replied with a smile returning to his face. "I will have to consider it."

Melisandria smiled. "Take all the time you need, Fenris." She kissed his cheek before she turned to let herself out. "I will be waiting for your answer. I need to go check up on the others, but if you have need of me, come find me at the estate."

And with that, Melisandria Hawke left Fenris in his chambers and left his mansion. She was beginning to see signs of the same spark she had seen the night in the moon flower clearing. She felt a small flushing burn on her cheeks as she thought about that night, remembering the kiss Fenris had given her.

Melisandria kept walking through the streets of Hightown and stopped by her home. She walked inside and felt safe. As she proceeded up the stairs to her room, she went over to Sandal. He handed her a rune, the same one he had shown her in the Deep Roads when she found him in the middle of dead darkspawn and a frozen ogre.

"Boom." was all he said.

"There he goes again." Bodahn said as he came up. "He's always making these runes, though I have no idea how. It's just his gift."

"Has he always been this way?" Melisandria asked.

"For as long as I can remember."

"Does it run in your family?"

Bodahn sighed. "No, but to be honest, Mistress, Sandal isn't even my son by blood. I found him wandering around, all alone, in the Deep Roads. I looked for family, anyone who might miss him, but there was no one. So I took him in and raised him as my own."

Melisandria smiled. "He is lucky to have you as a father, Bodahn. Blood or not, you took him in and raised him, giving him the love a father would to his son. You protect him, care for him, and that's what make you his family."

"Thank you, messere. I shudder to think, though, what will happen to him when I pass." Bodahn said.

"I will promise you this, Bodahn," Melisandria said. "I will take care of Sandal no matter what. You and your boy are part of my family now and I look after my family. You have nothing to fear."

Bodahn again thanked her many times over and Sandal left for the kitchen, saying he wanted pie. Melisandria chuckled at that and went to find her mother.

"It's so nice to be home again, to feel like an Amell." Leandra said when she found her near the fireplace.

"Mother, you deserve to be here again. I'm not only going to restore the Amell family name, but I am going to make the name Hawke one to be proud of." Melisandria said.

"I know you will, dear. I will have to get used to living here again. Maybe I should even find you a suitable husband." Leandra said with a smile and wandered off.

Smiling, Melisandria asked if Hammer wanted to go for a walk and left the estate with her mabari at her side. Melisandria remembered the day when Hammer had chosen her.

 _Bethany was home sick, having eaten some deep mushrooms she found in the forest nearby, but Melisandria and Carver were out playing one day and they came across a barn where a local man was breeding mabari. He knew the children well and asked if they wanted to have a look at the pups. Excited, they eagerly said yes and the breeder took them to a stall in the barn near the end where a mother mabari and her six pups were staying. The mother watched as her pups chased after one another, seeming content. She looked up when she saw the man bring Melisandria and Carver into the stall. Looking over them, the mother mabari seemed to nod in approval as the man asked if they could pet the pups._

 _Carver and Melisandria couldn't have been more than ten and twelve at the time. They were ecstatic as the pups came up and played with them, their mother keeping a watchful eye. When it was time to go, Carver and Melisandria said goodbye to the mabari and her pups, thanking the man for letting them play. As they walked back home, the man yelled stop and as the siblings turned, they saw one of the pups running towards them, carrying a hammer. They watched as the pup stopped right in front of them, staring for a moment before it came over and placed the hammer at Melisandria's feet. He barked at her, wagged his nubby tail, and danced in circles around her. When the man finally caught up, he recognized the mabari pup's actions and smiled._

 _"_ _Well, little Mel, it looks like this one likes you. He seems to have imprinted on you."_

 _"_ _You want to come with me, boy?" the young Melisandria asked the pup, squatting in front of him._

 _The pup barked and lunged at her, licking her face over and over again._

 _"_ _He's your mabari now, Mel." the man said as he came up to them. Handing her a collar, he helped her up and said, "This mabari will follow you no matter where you go. He has imprinted on you which means that you are his human and he is your mabari."_

 _Mel took the collar and buckled it around the pup's neck. "There we go, boy."_

 _The pup licked her and they were off, waving goodbye to the breeder. As they walked home, Carver began to pout._

 _"_ _What's wrong, Carver?" Melisandria asked._

 _"_ _You got a mabari and I didn't!" he said, clearly jealous._

 _"_ _Well, I didn't choose to be imprinted on, Carver. I just got lucky. Maybe you'll get a mabari soon, too!" Melisandria said, trying to cheer him up._

 _"_ _But it's not fair! I deserve to have a mabari more than you do! You're a stupid mage and I am going to grow up to be the best warrior that anyone has ever seen!" Carver cried and ran off._

 _Melisandria called out to him, but he ignored her and ran all the way home. Looking at her new mabari companion, she sighed. "Why did you choose me, little one? Am I that more worthy than my brother?"_

 _The mabari seemed to nod and barked. Smiling, Melisandria rubbed the pup's ears. "We need to think of a name for you, boy." she said as they continued back home._

 _When she reached her house, her father was waiting outside for her. "What happened? Carver came in crying and won't tell us anything." Malcolm said._

 _"_ _Papa, when we were playing, we met the mabari breeder and he let us see the pups." Melisandria replied, the pup coming to a stop next to her. "When we left to come home, this little pup came after us and the breeder man said that he had imprinted on me. This mabari pup is mine, just as I am his."_

 _Malcolm looked at his daughter, seeing the truth in her eyes. "So Carver is simply jealous?"_

 _"_ _I guess so... Papa, he seemed angry at me, like he hates me for being a mage..." Melisandria said._

 _Malcolm came over to his daughter and pulled her into a hug. "My dear sweet little flower. Your brother is not like you or Bethany. He does not possess magik. He does not hate you, nor does he hate Bethany or I for being mages. I think he is either jealous or he grows tired of us having to hide so often. Carver is a free spirit that needs to be able to spread his wings and fly, but he can't do that if he's always protecting you and your sister. You have to understand that and know that one day, he will choose a path that you cannot follow him on and he will no longer protect you as he does now."_

 _"_ _I understand, Papa. I have to become strong and brave like you so that Carver doesn't have to protect me, right?"_

 _Malcolm looked into his daughter's elfroot green eyes and smiled, "If that is what you want to set as your goal, then go for it. I just want you to understand that you have a gift- though it may seem a curse at times- and that you have to learn for yourself how to control your magik, discover how you want to use your magik, and understand the limitations and the dangers that magik possesses. While magik is a beautiful thing and a gift from the Maker, I want you to realize that because there are bad mages out there who use blood magik and consort with demons, those who are not mages will fear you and fear what you could become if you resort to the foul dark magiks."_

 _Smiling, Malcolm stood and looked at the pup. "So, have you thought of a name for the lad?"_

 _The pup looked at Melisandria, as if he was waiting to be given a name. Melisandria thought long and hard on her way home and smiled at her father. Thinking of the hammer that he had brought to her, Melisandria spoke with a clear voice, "His name is Hammer."_

 _From then on, Hammer had lived up to his name as he seemed to have a knack for running into things head on, literally, and often was uninjured after he head-butted things. There was one time that Melisandria had been cornered by some bullies, but before she used her magik-risking exposing her and her whole family to the village of Lothering- Hammer came to her rescue, head-butting and gnashing his teeth at the boys. In order to thank him for saving her and for saving her from a huge mistake that would affect everyone in her family, Melisandria went to the smithy and asked to learn some of the skills of a blacksmith. It took a few days, but she was an incredibly quick learner and had managed to fashion a medallion of sorts for Hammer. It bore a runic hammer with the symbols of strength, courage, and loyalty etched into the silver around the hammer. She presented it to Hammer, letting him take a look at it. Approving, he barked and sat with his head high. Melisandria smiled and fastened the medallion to his collar, then hugged him._

As Melisandria came back from her memories, she felt tears in her eyes as she had also remembered the times she and Carver had spent together, with Bethany, too. She missed her twin siblings, feeling as if it were all her fault that things happened the way that they had. She knew that nothing could have stopped them from happening, and that she had to let things run their course and hope for the best. She walked through the streets of Hightown and made her way into Darktown. She wanted to thank Anders again for what he had done for her and Carver, and for helping with the expedition.

She said a quick hello to Tomwise the Poison Maker and made her way to the clinic. When she opened the door, Anders was pacing a little as he read a rather large book, his back to the door. Smiling, she decided to sneak up on him and surprise him. There wasn't anyone around at that moment, so Melisandria assumed there were no patients or that Anders' assistants were gathering some herbs for him. As she came up behind him, he stopped for a moment, murmuring something to himself. Reaching up on her tip toes- as she was a head shorter than Anders- she placed her hands on Anders eyes, making him jump.

Anders dropped the book and spun, throwing a blast of spirit energy at her. She caught it, but the force of the blast pushed her back a ways, nearly knocking her off her feet. When Anders saw her standing there, holding the ball of spirit energy in between her hands, he stared in awe and then immediately realized what he had just done.

"Hawke! I am so sorry! Are you hurt?" he said, rushing to her as she breathed in and absorbed the energy slowly into her body.

"Anders, I'm fine. I thought I could surprise you, but I guess Justice gave you an extra edge when people sneak up behind you." she said with a smile. Rubbing the back of her head, she giggled in embarrassment. "I must apologize, I did not mean to startle you so. And don't call me Hawke, it's too formal. Call me Mel like everyone else does."

Anders sighed in relief and rubbed his temples. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

"Sorry, I just wanted to come and thank you for everything you did for me and my brother in the Deep Roads. I know it was hard for you to go back, but I appreciate it." Melisandria said.

"It was my pleasure. You were there for me when I needed someone after what happened to Karl. I could never have asked for a better friend, but I'm serious. Don't sneak up on me. I don't ever want to hurt you. And with the Templars nearly at my door..."

"Were they after you?" Melisandria asked, suddenly feeling the mood of their conversation changing.

"They were only checking out the refugees, but it's only a matter of time before they discover what I am doing here." Anders replied.

"You shouldn't tell me these things, Anders," Melisandria said, chuckling, "I might just have to lock you up, to keep them off you."

"Sweetheart, I'm not letting anyone lock me up, you included." Anders replied with a warm smile, but then the smile faded. "The Knight-Commander is out of control. Even her own people have been talking about it. The curfews, the midnight raids of mages' families. Everyone I know forced into hiding so they won't be made Tranquil."

"Is that making it harder for you?" Melisandria asked. "With Justice, I mean."

"In the Fade, there is no time. Emotion rules everything." Anders replied. "Justice doesn't know how to sit idle until the right moment to strike, and I can't say that I have any greater patience. I fear what my anger has made of my friend."

"Anders, you chose to work with him. Only you can make it work." Melisandria pointed out.

"I am trying," Anders replied. "I have not attacked the Templars openly. I help the mages here as best as I can, but this impasse cannot last. You're at as much risk as I am, Mel." Melisandria watched his face fall. "That's when I worry. What if your money and position aren't enough? What if the Knight-Commander turns on you? Everything I have done to control this, I don't care. I would drown us in blood to keep you safe."

Placing a hand on Anders cheek, Melisandria looked up at him with a warm smile, trying to reassure him. "Anders, I don't want to see you lose yourself, whether it's to you or to Justice. You have to stay in control."

"There will be more violence," Anders said as he put his hand on hers, feeling the comfort of her warmth on his cheek. "I know that. If you tie yourself to me, I will only hurt you."

"You keep saying that, Anders, but you haven't yet. I know you are a good man, a strong man. I don't believe that you could ever truly hurt anyone, especially me."

Pulling away from her, Anders backed away. "You don't want to do this, Mel. I don't have any control around you. You saw what I did to you when you only surprised me. I can't risk hurting you." He looked at her, a longing and aching look in his eyes. "I never thought I would meet another mage like you, another apostate. Don't tempt me, not unless you're ready for what that means."

Anders turned around and walked away, leaving Melisandria standing there, unsure of what to do. Hammer whined a bit at Melisandria's side. As she turned to walk out of the clinic, she said, "Anders, no matter what happens, no matter what goes wrong, I will always be here for you. You are one of my best friends and I will never turn my back on you. This much I can promise you."

And with that, Melisandria left the clinic with Hammer at her side. Anders turned and watched as she left, closing the door behind her. Anders felt like such a fool, but he had to warn her against himself and against Justice. There was no telling what would happen if he did lose control around her; Anders wouldn't be able to bear it if something happened to Melisandria. Alone with his thoughts, Anders began to wonder what Melisandria truly meant to him, and tried to understand the meaning of her words.

As Anders mulled things over in his head, Melisandria made her way out of Darktown and into the streets of Lowtown. She stopped by the Hanged Man to see Varric and Isabela. They were sitting at a table together, swapping stories and sharing a few laughs. When they saw Melisandria come up, they offered her a seat and called Nora over with a pint.

"So how are you enjoying to noble lifestyle, Hawke?" Varric said as Melisandria sat down. "You bored of it yet?"  
Chuckling, Melisandria accepted the pint from Nora and took a swig before answering. "Not quite, Varric. It's going to take some time to get used to it, but at least Mother is happy."

"Any plans for the future yet?"

Shaking her head, Melisandria replied, "Just trying to take care of my family."

"That's probably a good idea, considering what happened in the Deep Roads with your brother." Varric said. "I'm sorry about what happened, Hawke."

"There was nothing that could have been done. I'm just glad that Anders was there, otherwise, I would have lost Carver for sure."

Varric saw the doubt in her eyes. "Still no news of Carver, yet?"

Shaking her head, Melisandria said, "No, and it's been weeks. It shouldn't take this long to hear any news from Fereldan."

Standing, Varric put a hand on Melisandria's shoulder. "Keep your hopes up, Hawke, news will come soon enough."

As he went to his room, Isabela put a hand on Melisandria's. "I know I'm not very good at this kind of thing, but I am sorry about your brother. I rather enjoyed Carver's company." Melisandria managed a smile and Isabela raised her mug. "There we go, Mel. Now drink up, you look like you need it."

Melisandria shook her head in amusement and drank. She sat there with Isabela for a while, drinking and catching up, joking around and sharing laughs. She and Isabela had grown very close, despite their near polar opposite personalities.

"I am glad to have met you, Mel, I really am." Isabela said.

"And I you, Isabela. Have you had any luck with the relic?" Melisandria replied.

"As a matter of fact, I have. I've been following a lead. I'm sooo close that I can taste it!" Isabela said, excited.

Laughing, Melisandria replied, "Are you sure? Last time you said that we went looking for a stash that contained several badly written poems and an old boot!"

"It could have contained the relic." Isabela said, chuckling. "I just wanted to let you know that I might soon be taking you up on that offer to help."

"Do I get a kiss from the feisty temptress when I present her with the hard won prize?" Melisandria said, flirting a little bit with Isabela, maybe because she had too much to drink.

Smirking, Isabela replied, "If you want. I'll even let you choose where I plant it."

They looked at each other for a moment and then started to laugh, having finally decided that they had had enough to drink. Melisandria said her goodbyes for the moment and left the Hanged Man, noticing that it had gotten dark. With Hammer still at her side, she began to walk home, stumbling a bit.

As she walked home, Fenris came around the corner and saw her. Coming up to her, he noticed that she was a little bit drunk.

"Your mother was worried, Mel. She came to the mansion asking where you were. I came to find you, to make sure you were OK." he said.

Mel smiled, feeling a little hot from the whiskey she had drank. "I was just drinking with Varric and Isabela." she said as she looped her arm around Fenris'. "Mother worries too much sometimes."

Fenris smiled, having never seen Melisandria drunk before. "Let's get you home."

They walked for a bit and at some point between the path leading to Darktown and the path leading to Hightown, Melisandria stood up straight, stretched and smiled at Fenris.

"That's better," she said as she glowed a bit for a brief second.

"What?" Fenris asked, confused.

"Oh, my magik is strange. Whenever there is an unusual substance in my body- for this instance alcohol- my magik isolates it and neutralizes it. That's why I am never sick or drunk." she explained.

"That seems like it is quite handy." Fenris replied.

"It can be, but most of the time, it can be rather annoying. Sometimes I wish I could get sick or stay drunk long enough to understand what my brother and sister went through." Fenris looked at Melisandria as she stared up at the moon. "I appreciate you coming to look for me, Fenris. I know how much Mother worries, so thank you." she said, smiling at him.

"It is my pleasure." he replied, returning her smile.

They walked up through the streets of Hightown and stopped at the door of the Hawke estate. Looking at Fenris, with his dark green eyes and white hair glistening in the moonlight, Melisandria asked if he wanted to come inside.

"Perhaps another night," he said.

"At least let Mother thank you?" Melisandria said.

Fenris nodded. "Very well,"

"Thank you, Fenris."

Fenris sighed in friendly defeat as he felt as if his heart melted at her smile. He had kept it closed to so many others, but the moment he met Melisandria, the ice that seemed to cover his heart began to melt and he had once more began to feel safe. He followed her inside, Hammer trotting ahead of them. Leandra was sitting near the fireplace in the library, watching the flames dance.

"Mother, I'm home." Melisandria said, coming into the room.

"Melisandria Helen Hawke, where in the Maker's name were you? You left without saying anything and have been gone for hours. I was so worried I had to find your friend here to ask where you were. Not even he knew!" Leandra said, using her motherly but furious voice.

Melisandria cringed a little at the sound of her full name being used. "Mother, I'm a grown woman. I'm twenty-two now, I can go wherever and do whatever I please."

"I know, dear, I was just so worried." Leandra said, suddenly seeming sad. "With no word yet of Carver and losing Bethany and your father, I always think the worst when I don't know what's going on."

"Oh, Mother..." Melisandria said, "Let's take you upstairs. It's late."

Fenris waited while Melisandria started to take her mother upstairs. As they reached the halfway point, Leandra turned and smiled at Fenris as she thanked him for bringing Melisandria home. Fenris put a hand to his chest and bowed slightly before Melisandria and Leandra continued upstairs. When Leandra was settled into her bed, Melisandria closed the door and headed back downstairs.

Fenris had moved to stand by the fireplace and turned when Melisandria came up behind him. "Is your mother alright?"

"Yes, she worries too much sometimes, and I fear it will one day lead to something awful." Melisandria said, worry in her voice.

Fenris put a hand on her shoulder. "Your mother is doing what she does best. She is merely trying to ensure your safety as best as she can."

Melisandria put a hand on his and smiled softly. "I know, but I worry about her just as much."

Fenris pulled her in for a hug, holding her close. "You should not worry so, it makes you look older." he said with a chuckle.

Melisandria played along as if she was offended, lightly smacking him. "You're mean." she replied with a giggle.

Fenris smiled, glad to see her mood lightened. "I should leave," he said. "It is getting late."

Melisandria blushed as she looked away for a moment. "You could stay."

Fenris lifted her chin and looked at her. "Perhaps on another evening. You need to rest. I shall see you tomorrow."

Melisandria nodded and walked him to the door. "Good night, Fenris."

"Good night, Melisandria Helen Hawke." Fenris replied with a smile.

Hearing him say her full name like that made her face burn. She felt the blush deepen when he kissed her forehead before he left the Hawke Estate. Closing the door behind him, Melisandria felt her heart pounding. Putting her hands to face, Melisandria started to sing to herself as she moved up the stairs to her room. She got herself ready for bed and slipped underneath her covers as Hammer came to lay in bed with her. Quickly falling asleep, Melisandria began to dream of happier times with her family, but they soon turned to nightmares again.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Melisandria woke with a start as Hammer licked her face, whining. She must have had a horrible nightmare that scared the mabari, something that rarely happened. She rubbed his ears and made sure that he knew that she was ok. She got out of bed and got dressed in a purple tunic that had no sleeves and a v-cut down the center featuring a leather cord that weaved through the loop holes to tie it shut, a pair of dark brown light leather leggings, a pair of hard leather boots. She braided the top of her hair and let the rest hang loose. She looked in the large looking glass on her dresser and smiled. She was happy with her appearance. She touched the wolf head amulet Liam had given her as it rested against the center of her chest plate.

Ready for the day, Melisandria went down to the kitchen where Sandal and Bodahn and packed some food and wished them a good morning before heading out. She stopped by the Hanged Man to see if Varric wanted to come with her, as she was planning to go see the men who worked in the Bone Pit, the men who were under her protection. Varric said he missed the men and agreed to come along. Next, Melisandria stopped by Anders' clinic and then by Fenris' mansion, as they too had helped to eradicate the dragons to ensure the miners' safety. When they had joined her, they all made their way up through Hightown and out into the Free Marches towards the Bone Pit.

A short while after they started their trek, Hammer began to growl. Melisandria and her companions stopped and looked around, readying their weapons. A group of people that looked like Tevinters came up to them, surrounding them on all sides.

"Hunters..." Fenris said.

"Stop right there! You are in possession of stolen property." one of the hunters said from above them on the cliffs. "Back away from the slave now and you'll be spared."

Melisandria readied her staff and stepped in front of Fenris. "Fenris is a free man! He is not a slave and you will not take him!" she yelled back at the hunter.

"I won't repeat myself." the hunter said.

"And I won't repeat myself. You will not have him!" Melisandria retorted, interrupting the hunter.

"Back away from the slave now!" the hunter said again.

"I am not your slave!" Fenris cried and summoned his lyrium abilities, attacking the slavers.

Melisandria and the others followed suit, attacking the slavers and the hunters. Melisandria and Anders threw spell after spell at the hunters while Varric shot the hunters with Bianca's bolts and Fenris hacked away at them in a lyrium fitted rage. When they were all but dead, Fenris walked over to the remaining survivor.

"Where is he?" he demanded, grabbing the mage's hair and pulling his head back.

"Please, don't kill me!" the mage begged as Fenris slammed his face against the sandy ground.

"Tell me!" Fenris demanded.

"I don't know!" the mage said. "I don't know, I swear! Hadriana brought us! She's at the holding caves north of the city! I can show you the way!" The mage was pleading, trying to bargain with Fenris.

"No need." Fenris said. "I know which ones you speak of."

The mage looked up at Fenris as best he could and begged, "Then let me go. I beg you! I swear I won't-"

Ignoring the mage's pleas, Fenris said with a grimacing tone, "You chose the wrong master." and snapped the mage's neck.

Standing, with his back still to the others, Fenris growled the name Hadriana. As he turned to face the others, he said, "I was a fool to think I was free. They'll never let me be!"

Melisandria had sheathed her staff and looked at Fenris. "We have to do something. This cannot be allowed to continue any longer. Where do we need to go?"

"The holding caves held slaves in the old times, but apparently they are no longer abandoned." Fenris said. "We must go quickly, before Hadriana has a chance to prepare... or flee."

"Let's go then," Melisandria said.

Fenris nodded and led the way up Sundermount toward the holding caves. When they reached the entrance, Fenris stopped and looked at Melisandria. "We must be careful. Hadriana is my former master's old apprentice and she is just as ruthless. There were many such holding caves, especially in the mountains, where individual slavers kept private pens."

"Why would they keep pens?" Melisandria asked.

"They were designed to protect against raids by fellow slavers." Fenris explained. "No doubt it's why Hadriana chose this place."

"Do slavers attack each other often?" Melisandria asked.

"They did." Fenris replied. "What better way to find slavers than to steal them?"

"I see. Well then, let us move on so that we make sure that Hadriana doesn't escape us." Melisandria said.

"Let's hope this isn't a waste of time." Fenris said as he led them into the caves.

They walked through the caves and reached a room where there was a table with a bloody corpse laying upon it, clearly the remains of a sacrifice.

"See for yourself the work of the magisters." Fenris said as they passed by and continued down through the hallways.

As they made their way through the eerie tunnels of the holding caves, they passed several empty prisons. They encountered several corpses and skeletons that were brought to life by dark magik and fought their way through them. When they defeated them and moved on until they reached a large room, they were attacked by slavers. They battled the slavers until they had killed every last one in the room. Nearby, a young elf maiden stood, frightened.

"Are you hurt?" Fenris asked as they approached her. "Did they touch you?"

The elf maiden shook her head. "They've been killing everyone! They cut papa, they bled him..." she cried, tears and desperation in her eyes.

"Why?" Fenris asked. "Why would they do this?"

"It's a demon at work." Anders said. "By this point, there's nothing human left inside."

"The magister... she said she needed power, that someone was coming to kill her." the elf said. "We tried to be good! We did everything we were told! She loved papa's soup. I don't understand..."

"Is the magister still here?" Melisandria asked.

"I... think so." the elf replied. "The magister said they were to prepare for battle. I think she's very frightened!"

"She has every reason to be." Fenris said.

"Please, don't hurt her! She'll be so angry if you hurt her!" the elf begged.

"We may not have any choice." Melisandria said. "This has been terrible for you."

"Everything was fine until today!" the elf said.

"It wasn't," Fenris said, his face falling. "You just didn't know any better."

"Are you my master now?" the elf asked, sounding hopeful.

"What? No!" Fenris said, rejecting the idea.

"But... I can cook. I can clean! What else will I do?" the elf said.

Thinking for a moment, Melisandria smiled. "If you go to Kirkwall, I can help you. Wait at the Hawke estate and I'll head straight there when we are finished with our business here."

"Yes? Oh, praise the Maker! Thank you!" the elf said and ran off.

"I did not realize that you were in the market for slaves." Fenris snarled at Melisandria.

Melisandria smacked him across the face, hurt that he would even say a thing like that. "I gave her a job, Fenris. I will pay her just as I pay Bodahn and Sandal for their services. How dare you think that I would _ever_ take on a slave! What kind of person do you think I am?"

Varric and Anders stared in bewilderment when they saw how red Fenris' cheek was. Fenris put a hand to his throbbing cheek.

"I apologize. I should not have doubted you. It is good that you gave her a job, it will provide her with a new life and freedom." Fenris said, ashamed that he ever doubted Melisandria.

"Don't just go jumping to conclusions, Fenris." Melisandria said, her voice softening. "Now, let's find this magister and put an end to all this."

Fenris nodded and watched as Melisandria marched on forward through to the next room. He and the others followed behind her. Varric chuckled to himself, but shrugged and played dumb when Fenris glared at him. Anders thought he deserved it. They continued through the halls and finally made it to a large room where they had finally found Hadriana. Hadriana gasped when she saw Fenris and began to summon shades and rage demons and corpses in a frantic attempt to kill him and the others.

Melisandria and Anders drew their staffs, trying to use dispel spells to deflect Hadriana's spells. They fought off the demons and corpses, and when she managed to clear a pathway, Melisandria went at Hadriana. She threw spells at her and deflected the ones Hadriana threw at her. When she managed to dodge the spells and get in close enough, Melisandria began to beat Hadriana down with her staff, cutting her a few times with the blade at the end of her staff.

"How could you treat Fenris like that?" Melisandria yelled as she gave up on her staff and began to punch Hadriana with her fists. "He is not a slave and you cannot have him!"

Behind her, Fenris, Varric, and Anders had finished off the demons and corpses and were watching Melisandria beat the living hell out of Hadriana. They watched in awe and fear, having never seen her like that before.

"You know nothing, child!" Hadriana managed to say.

"I know nothing? How about you take a look in a mirror. Fenris is a free man; he has earned his freedom many times over! You will not take him from me!" Melisandria retorted and threw one final punch before she backed away, panting. "You will never know the freedom Fenris has found. You have become a slave to your own magik, allowing it to consume you. You make me sick!"

Fenris stepped forward with his sword drawn as Hadriana lay on the ground, beaten.

"Stop! You do not want me dead." Hadriana said, pleading for her life.

"There is only one person I want dead more." Fenris said.

"I have information, elf, and I will trade it in return for my life." Hadriana said.

Laughing in spite of her, Fenris said, "The location of Danarius? What good will that do me? I'd rather he lose his pet pupil."

"You have a sister." Hadriana said. "She is alive."

Melisandria could sense the shock of hearing that radiating off of Fenris.

"You wish to reclaim your life? Let me go, and I will tell you where she is." Hadriana said.

"How do we know you speak the truth?" Melisandria asked.

"You don't." Hadriana smirked. "But I know Fenris, and I know what he's searching for. If he wants me to betray Danarius, he'll have to pay for it."

"Fenris, this is your call. If she speaks the truth, it may be worth listening to what she has to say." Melisandria said, looking at Fenris.

As Fenris walked up to Hadriana, she asked, "So I have your word? I tell you, and you let me go?"

"Yes," he replied, leaning in close. "You have my word."

"Her name is Varania. She is in Qurinus serving a magister by the name of Ahriman." Hadriana informed him.

"A servant. Not a slave." Fenris said.

"She's not a slave." Hadriana confirmed.

"I believe you." Fenris said, then summoned his lyrium abilities and thrust his hand into her chest, crushing the magister's heart.

Standing, he began to walk away from Hadriana's corpse. "We are done here."

Melisandria looked at him, concerned. "Are you alright, Fenris? Do you wish to talk about it?"

"No, I don't want to talk about it!" Fenris retorted, turning angrily to face Melisandria. "This could be a trap! Danarius could have sent Hadriana here to tell me about this 'sister'."

Melisandria winced at his harsh tone. "But what if she is speaking the truth?"

"Even if he didn't, trying to find her would still be suicide! Danarius has to know about her and has to know that Hadriana knows." Fenris continued. "But all that matters is I finally got to crush that bitch's heart. May she rot and all the other mages with her."

Melisandria felt a pain in her chest when he said that and felt tears beginning to brew. Next to her, Anders made a snide comment. "And here I thought you were unreasonable..."

"Fenris, I'm sorry." Melisandria said, holding back her tears. She placed a hand on Fenris' shoulder and added, "Maybe we should leave..."

"No, I don't want you comforting me." Fenris retorted, shaking off her gentle hand. "You saw what was done here. There's always going to be some reason, some excuse why mages need to do this."

"Fenris, that's not fair and you know it!" Melisandria said, defensively. "We are not all like Danarius or Hadriana."

"You are but one mage I have yet met who hasn't shown me that you are like them." Fenris acknowledged. "Even if I found my sister, who knows what the magisters have done to her. What has magik touched that it doesn't spoil?"

"Is that how you truly feel about magik? Even after what we have been through?" Melisandria asked.

Ignoring her, Fenris put a hand to his forehead. "I... need to go." And with that, Fenris left the holding caves.

Melisandria watched him leave, not sure what to do. Next to her, Varric and Anders came up, not sure what to say or do either. Anders put a hand on her shoulder, trying to make sure that Melisandria was OK. Melisandria placed a hand on his and managed a smile.

"Let's get out of here." Varric said.

Melisandria nodded and they left. When they reached the outside world again, Fenris was nowhere to be seen. Figuring he went home, they made their own ways back to their homes after they had stopped by the Bone Pit. The workers were happy to see Melisandria, thanking her for the visit and for making the mines safe for them again. They even thanked her for getting them a raise- she had convinced them to go back to work after defeating the dragons by doubling their salary, knowing that Hubert would have to comply and knowing that the men more than deserved it. Satisfied that the workers were happy, they made their way back to town and went their separate ways.

When Melisandria got home, she sighed, taking her boots off near the front door, having gotten them caked with mud and not wishing to make more of a mess in the house. When she looked up, Fenris was sitting there on one of the benches, resting his arms on his knees.

"Fenris? What are you doing here?" Melisandria asked.

Fenris stood. "Mel, I..."

Shaking her head, Melisandria went into the next room. Bodahn and Sandal weren't around at that moment, so Melisandria assumed they went out to the market as they usually did on days like this. "Fenris, I don't even know what to say to you right now."

Stopping her by the fireplace, Fenris said, "I've been thinking about what happened with Hadriana. I took out my anger on you, undeservedly so. I was... not myself." He looked at her. "I'm sorry."

Melisandria looked at him, seeing that he was truly sorry and trying to find a way to make sure that she knew that. She sighed and said, "Fenris, I was worried about you. I had no idea where you went; I was concerned."

"I needed to be alone." Fenris said, looking away for a moment. "When I was still a slave, Hadriana was a torment. She would ridicule me, deny my meals, hound my sleep. Because of her status, I was powerless to respond and she knew it. The thought of her slipping out of my grasp now... I couldn't let her go. I wanted to, but I couldn't."

"What do you mean, Fenris?" Melisandria asked.

"This hate... I thought I'd gotten away from it. But it dogs me no matter where I go." he replied. "To feel it again, to know it was they who planted it inside me... it was too much to bear." Turning away, he added, "But I didn't come to burden you further."

"Fenris, don't go." Melisandria said. "You don't need to leave." She reached out and grabbed his arm.

He tensed and glowed as he pushed her against the wall, pinning her. When he realized what he was doing, he relaxed and backed away. "I'm sorry, but I think it best for both of us if I leave."

Leaving Melisandria leaning against the wall, dumbfounded, Fenris left the Hawke estate and went home. Feeling her heart pounding, Melisandria went to go lay down. A knock came from the door, though, and she went to answer it. The elf maiden from the holding caves was waiting outside.

"Ah, I finally found you!" she said.

"It's you!" Melisandria said with a surprised smile. "I am glad that you made it."

"It was difficult to find your home, but it is a good thing that you are as well-known as you are. The people here are very nice and were kind enough to point me to your home."

Melisandria let her come in. "What is your name?"

"Orana, Mistress." the elf said.

"That is a beautiful name. I am Melisandria Hawke."

Orana bowed in respect to her. "Thank you for letting me come here. I will serve you faithfully."

"Orana, if you are going to live here and work for me, it will be as my servant. I don't want you to continue to be a slave. You'll be paid like everyone else here and you will have your own room." Melisandria explained.

"I won't be a slave?" Orana asked. "But that's all I have ever known. Papa was a slave and his papa before him. I shall try my best, then, Mistress and do my best."

"You are welcome to come and go as you like, as well. Now, please, make yourself comfortable. If you'd like, in the morning, we can even go to the Hightown market and buy some clothes and other things for you so that you have more available to you."

Orana smiled. "I would greatly appreciate that, Mistress."

"Then it's settled. We shall go in the morning. Now, get some rest and I'll make dinner tonight." Melisandria said and showed Orana to her new room.

Going to the kitchen, Melisandria began to make dinner. She cut up some vegetables, some meat and fired up the stove. She put the meat in a skillet and filled a pot with water, then put the vegetables into the pot. Using one her mother's favorite recipes, Melisandria began to put everything together for the roast, steamed vegetables and potatoes, and a hearty gravy. When Bodahn and Sandal returned, Melisandria had finished dinner and had it ready and waiting.

"Mistress, you should not have made dinner." Bodahn said. "We would have done it."

"It's quite alright, Bodahn." Melisandria said. "Ah, there you are, Orana." she added as Orana entered the room. "Bodahn, this is Orana. I saved her from a magister and offered her a position here in the estate. She can cook and clean, so some of the burden will be taken off of you."

Bodahn smiled warmly at Orana and welcomed her to the estate. He introduced Sandal to her as well, and Melisandria smiled when Sandal danced around the kitchen in joy to have a new friend.

"You are part of the family now, Orana. I'm sure that you will meet my mother, Leandra, in the morning." Melisandria added.

Orana thanked them gratefully and bowed before she joined them around the kitchen table. They began to eat their meal and Bodahn entertained them with stories of his travels with Sandal. Some of them were beyond belief, some were funny, but they made everyone smile and enjoy the night. When the meal was over and the night had grown late, everyone retired for the night. Melisandria told everyone to take the rest of the night off and offered to clean everything up herself. Reluctantly, they went to bed and let Melisandria clean up things. When everything was clean and put away, Melisandria went to bed herself, Hammer close behind her.

The following morning, Melisandria woke and went downstairs for breakfast, dressed in a green and white dress with silver embroidery that came just below her knees. Beneath it, she wore tan leggings that came just above her ankles and green shoes. She tied her hair up in a bun, letting part of it hang down, and put a pair of jade earrings that hung down in a drop into her ears. As she entered the kitchen, Orana bowed in greeting and Leandra looked up with a smile.

"Good morning, dear. You look very beautiful today; green suits you well." she said.

"Thank you, Mother. I see that you have met Orana." Melisandria replied.

"Your mama is a very kind woman. I am glad to serve you both." Orana said.

Leandra smiled. "I like this girl. She made breakfast, too. It's very delicious; come have some."

Melisandria nodded and joined her family for breakfast. They ate and talked, Leandra tried to get to know Orana better. When breakfast was finished, Melisandria mentioned that she had offered to take Orana to the market in Hightown to get some personal things to spruce up her room and help her feel more welcome. Leandra thought it was a grand idea and wanted to come along, though couldn't because she had made plans to visit a close family friend for the majority of the day. Melisandria understood and suggested that they head out soon, so they cleaned up and left the Hawke estate to go to Hightown market.

Orana and Melisandria walked through the streets of Hightown to the market. Liam and some of his friends were out playing and stopped to say hello to Melisandria. Orana watched in amusement as Melisandria hugged Liam and asked how the children were doing. She glanced over and saw Fenris nearby, browsing the weapons stand. Fenris glanced up and was surprised to see Orana, but smiled in welcome, glad to see that she was alright. Then when he looked over at Melisandria enjoying herself, laughing and dancing around with the children. Orana watched his face soften at the sight of Melisandria and she knew that look immediately. She had seen her mama and papa look at each other like that once upon a time.

Liam and the others needed to go somewhere else, so Liam hugged Melisandria tightly and ran off with his friends. Melisandria smiled as he ran off and turned to Orana. She was still unaware of Fenris' presence nearby.

"You are a wonderful woman, Mistress. The children really love you." Orana said. "You have really made a difference in their lives."

"I have tried; someone has to look out for these children. Liam is such a dear boy." Melisandria said. "Now, let's see if we can find you something you like."

And with that, Melisandria and Orana spent hours browsing the wares, buying clothes, trinkets, and some furniture for Orana's room, all her choices so that it had the most personal touch possible. Done with their errands, they asked one of the stands' keeper if his assistant could help them bring things to the estate. The keeper agreed, sending a young elf with them. The elf pulled a cart of all of the furniture and heavy items Melisandria and Orana had purchased, the labor not seeming to faze him at all. When they reached the estate, Bodahn and Sandal came out to help bring things inside. They brought everything into the main room of the estate, leaving everything there until it was all unloaded. The young elf offered to help set things up and Melisandria and Orana graciously accepted. They began to bring everything in, one by one, to Orana's room and arranged things the way Orana wanted them.

After some time, Orana finally had a room that was suited to her. She thanked Melisandria many times, gratefully for the support and a home. Leaving Orana to herself, Melisandria went to her writing desk to check for letters. There was a note from Anders, asking her to come to the clinic. Grabbing her things, Melisandria went down to the cellar and entered Darktown. When she went through the door, Anders looked up and beckoned her over.

"Have you noticed how many Tranquil there are in the Gallows courtyard lately?" Anders asked. "And don't tell me I'm just sensitive to it. I've been watching and every day there are new Tranquil, selling their bloody wares. Good mages, too, ones I know passed their Harrowing."

"But that's against the law, right?" Melisandria asked. "Doesn't Chantry law say that all mages who pass their Harrowing can't be made Tranquil?"

Anders nodded. "Exactly. The templars are using the rite of Tranquility to silence those who speak against them. They are working on a deliberate plan to turn every mage in Kirkwall within the next three years." "Anders, whatever you may think of templars, you can't imagine they're all so heartless." Melisandria said.

Anders shook his head. "They're worse. There are groups in Kirkwall who help those fleeing the Circle. I've talked to people on the inside. The plan is the work of a templar called Ser Alrik. I've had a run-in with him myself; he's the one who did the ritual on Karl. He's a nasty piece of work who likes to make mages beg."

"What happened between you and Ser Alrik?" Melisandria asked.

"I've been involved with an... underground resistance. Mages living free in Kirkwall who help others escape." Andes explained. "I can't tell you anymore, for your sake and theirs. You have too much involvement with the guard and nobility. Suffice it to say, I've been in the Gallows; I've seen his work first hand."

"What else do you know about Ser Alrik?" Melisandria asked.

"The Knight-Commander is at least sincere in her convictions." Anders said. "However misguided, she believes she is helping people. Ser Alrik is a sadist, cold-blooded as a lizard; he likes to experiment on mages, find out what it takes to push them into the arms of demons."

"Surely not all templars are that bad. Perhaps the blame could be then put on Ser Alrik?" Melisandria pointed out.

"That is my hope." Anders nodded. "If we bring the evidence of this plan to light, there must be men who'll stand against it. Perhaps even the grand cleric will finally be forced to act."

"So then how do we stop this from going any further?" Melisandria asked.

"My friends from the mage underground know a way inside, a secret entrance under the walls of the Gallows." Anders said, an urgency in his voice. "Come with me tonight, please! Help me find the evidence of Ser Alrik's "Tranquil Solution"."

"What do you mean by that?" Melisandria asked.

"That's what he calls it. His idea of a "peaceful" solution to the mage problem: to sunder the mind of every mage in the Free Marches. I'm told he's bringing his proposal to Val Royeaux, to the Divine herself. He would turn every mage in Thedas into a drooling simpleton, under his command." Anders said.

"Of course I will help you. I wouldn't let you face this alone." Melisandria replied.

Anders smiled. "You are the one bright light in Kirkwall. I have always been afraid of being made Tranquil, now more than ever and I am honored by your trust, Hawke. I'm ready to go whenever you are. Our entrance is concealed not far from here."

"Let's go, then." Melisandria said and followed Anders to the entrance.

As they neared the entrance, Varric and Fenris came up.

"What are you two doing here?" Melisandria asked.

"Blondie asked me to come down here, said he needed help and the extra man power. I thought bringing the elf would up our chances with whatever is going on." Varric replied.

Melisandria smiled at him and nodded. "We will need the extra help. Thank you for coming."

They entered the tunnels, Anders leading the way. They made their way through the tunnels, coming across a few lyrium smugglers here and there. They defeated them with ease and continued forward. As they got further ahead, voices began to echo, getting louder the closer they got. They hurried quietly to see what was going on and that was when they saw something that truly infuriated Anders to the point where Melisandria could feel Justice's energy radiating off of him. They came into the room of the cave, standing behind the group of templars surrounding a poor mage girl.

"No, please! I haven't done anything wrong!" the mage begged, backing away from a templar as he advanced on her.

"That's a lie." he said, leading Melisandria to the conclusion that he was Ser Alrik. "What do we do to mages that lie?"

"I just wanted to see my mum. No one told her where they were taking me." she said in defense.

Beside her, Melisandria saw Anders begin to glow blue.

"No, no this is their place!" he muttered to himself, talking to Justice. "We cannot-"

Ser Alrik continued to advance on the mage. "So you admit you attempted escape?" he drawled. "You know what happens to mage girls who don't toe the line around here, don't you?"

Falling to her knees, the mage begged, "Please, don't make me Tranquil! I'll do anything!"

Chuckling, Ser Alrik retorted, "That's right. Once you're Tranquil, you'll do anything I ask."

Not being able to stand another minute of this, Melisandria stepped forward. "What do you think you are doing to that poor girl? Get your filthy hands off her!"

"You fiends will never touch a mage again!" Anders said, though Melisandria knew that it was now Justice speaking.

The templars attacked and Melisandria and her companions fought back until every last one of the templars was dead. She would have preferred that no one die, but Melisandria knew they had no other choice.

Justice still in control, Anders said, "They will die! I will have every last templar for these abuses."

"Anders, the battle's over! They're all dead." Melisandria said, coming up to him.

"Every one of them will feel justice's burn." Anders, then turned and rushed up to the mage girl as she said to get away from her and called him a demon. "I am no demon! Are you one of them that you would call me such?"

"Anders, don't hurt her! That girl is a mage. We rescued her from being made Tranquil." Melisandria said, trying to get through Justice to her friend Anders.

"She is theirs! I can feel their hold on her!" Anders retorted.

"She's the reason you're fighting, Anders. Do not turn on her now." Melisandria tried again to reach the Anders she knew.

"Please, messere..." the mage pleaded.

Anders was losing control quickly and was about to attack the poor girl when he finally wretched control back from Justice's grasp and stumbled away from the girl. The girl took the chance to run away as Anders tried to regain himself.

"Maker, no. I almost... If you weren't here..." Anders said, his voice trembling as he realized what he had almost done. "I-I need to get out of here." And with that he ran off.

Sighing, Melisandria checked the bodies, trying to find something to incriminate Ser Alrik's "Tranquil Solution", anything that might put Anders' mind at ease. Finding the right papers on Ser Alrik, Melisandria and the others left the tunnels and made their way back to Darktown, where they were met by the mage girl.

"You- you saved my life, messere." the girl said, introducing herself as Ella. "What was that thing?"

"If you are referring to Anders, he is my friend. It's a long story, but suffice it to say that he is not a demon. He is only a very troubled man." Melisandria replied.

"Can I... go home now?" Ella asked.

"Find your parents, but don't stay there. You must leave Kirkwall; it isn't safe." Melisandria said.

"I know. There's nowhere in the city where Ser Alrik's men won't find me." Ella replied. "Thank you again, messere. Andraste herself must have put you in that room."

Melisandria watched as the girl left. Turning to Fenris and Varric, Melisandria said that she was going to go and check on Anders and give him the papers she found. As she walked away, Fenris felt a strange feeling in his gut, like something was going to happen to her, but he couldn't tell if it was good or bad.

Melisandria came into the clinic to find Anders rummaging through some papers, muttering "Trash." and "Keep." to himself.

"Anders, you need to calm down. You're upset; let's talk about it." she said.

Standing, Anders retorted, "Upset doesn't begin to cover it. You were the only thing that kept me from murdering an innocent girl!"

"Ella is alright, though. She is leaving Kirkwall to live a free life, Anders." Melisandria told him.

"It's all gone wrong. Justice and I. We're just a monster, same as any abomination." he said.

"That's not true. Yes, you almost completely lost control, but you stopped yourself. You aren't a monster, nor will you ever become one." Melisandria said, coming closer to him and trying to comfort him. "Even when you were losing control, you heard what I was saying. You knew, in your heart, that you had to stop."

"You have too much faith in me. Without you, I'd never have known who was there until it was too late." he replied, a sullen look playing across his face.

"That's what I'm here for, Anders, to make sure you remain yourself and don't lose yourself to Justice or the Templars. We mages need to stick together, after all." Melisandria said, trying to get him to smile.

"How can I fight for the freedom of mages, when I am the example of the worst that freedom brings?" Anders asked her, searching for answers.

"Mages are dangerous, Anders. That's why this has been so hard, for both of us." Melisandria said, putting a hand to his cheek. "Make yourself the proof that they can control their power."

Anders looked into her eyes, not sure what to do. "I don't know how." he said and put a hand to hers. "How can I even trust myself to heal anymore? What if that... creature of vengeance turns on a patient? Will he.. will I... resist? Or will I loose his fury?"

"Nothing will happen, Anders. The patients that come in here, they are not Templars, but people who truly need your help. Healing is something that you do best, never forget that." Melisandria replied.

Nodding, Anders asked, "Did you... find anything on Ser Alrik? Or was the "Tranquil Solution" just another of my delusions?"

"Yes, actually. It looks like the "Tranquil Solution" began and ended with Ser Alrik." Melisandria replied as she pulled the papers from her pack.

"Let me see that!" he said, taking the papers. "The Divine... rejected the idea. Meredith rejected the idea! This was... not what I expected. Perhaps I should try talking to the grand cleric. Maybe she's more reasonable than I thought."

With that, he walked away, talking to himself. Melisandria let him be and went home. When she walked inside, she took off her boots and set her staff near the front door. As she stretched and walked into the main room of the estate, she saw Fenris waiting by the fire.

"Fenris?" Melisandria asked, startled by his presence there.

He turned and walked over to her. "I have been thinking of you." he said and came to a stop fairly close to Melisandria. "In fact," he continued, "I have been able to think of little else. Command me to go, and I shall."

"Please don't go, Fenris." Melisandria said. "There's no need."

Fenris pulled her in and kissed her, his arms wrapping around her waist as she wrapped hers around his neck. They kissed for a short while before Fenris lifted her up and held her against him as he carried her upstairs to her room. Closing the door behind them, Fenris let Melisandria stand as they began to disrobe each other. Melisandria unhooked Fenris' armor, throwing it to the floor as he pulled the string that held her dress together. As the dress fell to the floor, Fenris pulled Melisandria in and felt her warm breasts press against his chest. They continued to kiss, pulling the last few pieces of clothing off of each other as they made their way to the bed. Fenris pushed Melisandria down onto the bed, pinning her arms above her head with one hand as his other hand explored her body.

Fenris felt the smooth skin and curvature of Melisandria's body, which only aroused him more. Her hair had fallen out of its partial bun and pooled around her, the moonlight making the black of her hair look like obsidian. Fenris looked at Melisandria for a moment, silently asking for permission to enter her. She nodded and pulled him in for another kiss. Fenris hooked Melisandria's legs around his hips as he slid himself inside of her. Wincing, Melisandria felt the pain of her virginity being taken. She bit back a yell of pain and her eyes began to water. Fenris asked if she was alright, wiping the tears away. Melisandria nodded and began to moan as Fenris began to move his hips back and forth. They continued to kiss and as they made love to each other, Melisandria and Fenris both thought that they could never be happier.

As the night progressed, Melisandria and Fenris were so intoxicated by pleasure that they began to lose themselves to it. As Fenris continued to move his hips back and forth, memories began to flood back- memories he had long forgotten with the pain of receiving his marks. As he reached his climax, every memory he had ever lost came flooding back in an instant and when he had pulled out of Melisandria just in time, the memories all vanished as quickly as they came. Exhausted, Fenris fell to the bed beside Melisandria, the pain unbearable. Melisandria tried to use her magik to ease the pain, but when she managed to finally do enough to where he was relaxed, Melisandria passed out, falling against Fenris' chest. They were both exhausted and passed out for a couple of hours, laying naked together on Melisandria's bed.

After some time, Fenris awoke abruptly, the pain briefly resurfacing. He swung his legs out of the bed and put his head in his hands. When the pain subsided again, Fenris got up and began to get dressed again. He then stood by the fire, waiting for Melisandria to wake up. When she did finally wake, she looked to her left and saw that Fenris wasn't in bed any longer. She looked over at him standing by the fireplace and sat up.

"Was it that bad?" she asked, pulling the covers to her chest.

"I'm sorry, it's not... It was fine." Fenris said, then shook his head. "No, that is insufficient. It was better than anything I could have dreamed."

"Was it the pain?" Melisandria asked. "Your markings hurt still, don't they?"

"It's not that." Fenris said. "I began to remember my life before. Just flashes. It's too much, this is too fast. I cannot do this."

Melisandria looked away for a moment. "What did you remember that could have been so bad?"

"I've never remembered anything before the ritual." Fenris explained. "There were faces, words. For just a moment, I could recall all of it. Then it slipped away."

"We could work on that, Fenris. I can help you remember things, if you let me." Melisandria said. "Don't you want to get your memories back?"

"Perhaps you don't realize how upsetting this is, Mel." he replied, turning away from her. "I've never remembered anything and to have it all come back in a rush, only to lose it... I can't... I can't..."

He looked at her for a moment as she said, "But, Fenris... I love you... I want to help you; we can work through this."

"I'm sorry, I feel like such a fool." he said, his head bowing in shame and sadness. "All I wanted was to be happy, just for a little while. Forgive me..." He walked away, leaving the one person who has been there for him through everything, the one person who looked passed the markings and saw who he was as a person, the only person he had ever let himself fall in love with.

As Fenris walked away, leaving her there alone, Melisandria hurried to get her robe and underclothes on and ran downstairs and out into the square, searching for him. She looked everywhere, standing barefoot on the cold stone, but couldn't see him anywhere.

"Fenris!" she called out just as rain began to fall.

She stood there for a moment, calling out to him a few more times before falling to her knees, crying her eyes out when no answer came. Melisandria had fallen in love with Fenris, never having anyone ever accept her the way he had, and now he had rejected her. Orana, Bodahn, and Leandra came outside, searching for her. Leandra ran to her daughter and hugged her, asking what was wrong. But when Melisandria looked up at her, she could see the heart break in her eyes.

"Oh, my poor baby..." she said and helped her daughter up, taking her inside.

As they reentered the estate, Fenris- who had been standing nearby, hidden, when Melisandria came outside and called his name- felt his chest tighten and he turned away, his heart and head heavy. This was something he never thought he would ever do to her, someone he loved with all his heart, which he regretted the instant he walked away. When he returned to his own home, he went to his chambers and threw his armor against the walls and on the floor. He punched the wall, severely bruising his hand. Ignoring the pain, he slunk to his bed and buried his face in his hands. Never before had he ever cried, but the pain of leaving Melisandria was nearly too much to bear. Fenris cried silently into his hands, his heart aching for her. He had allowed himself to let someone close, fell in love with a mage that had proven herself as a good person with no darkness in her heart, who wants to help people, and took her virginity, though he did not yet know it. He had no idea he had taken something so precious from her and did not yet know the ramifications of his actions. He felt awful, but the damages were already done. Fenris had no idea what the future would hold now that he pushed away the one thing he cared most about.

A few days had passed and Melisandria was still in bed, her heart broken. No one could get her out of bed, not even Isabela. Hammer sat next to her every day, protecting her in this fragile state. When she finally got enough energy to get out of bed, she got up begrudgingly. She felt like changing things up a little bit, so she looked through her clothes. Pulling out a dark red tunic, a leather waist cincher, black leggings, a pair of black leather boots, and her favorite sleeveless cloak, Melisandria got dressed, tying the waist cincher over the cloak. She brushed her hair, then braided it.

Finished getting ready, Melisandria grabbed a pair of fingerless gloves and pulled them on as she went downstairs. Bodahn and Orana looked up and smiled in relief, glad to see her up and about.

"Glad to see you're better, Mistress." Orana said, offering her some breakfast.

"I'm not hungry, Orana, but thank you." Melisandria replied.

Orana nodded and stood aside as Melisandria walked out of the estate, her staff in hand. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she felt like she just needed to walk around, clear her head. She hooked her staff on her back, and wandered around Kirkwall, just walking. She wandered to the docks, stopping in a far corner of the docks, near where they had slain Senestra the Snake, the lady who Keran and Macha's family owed money to. A group of thugs were nearby, watching Melisandria stand by herself, gazing out over the harbor.

"Hey there, sweetheart, care to have some fun?" one of them said, the lot of them coming up to her.

She ignored them, unintentionally, too. She was off in her own little world, trying to figure things out in her head.

"Oi, I'm talking to you," the thug said, grabbing her arm, startling her.

"Let me go, creep." she demanded and pulled her arm free, starting to walk away.

"I don't think so," another said, grabbing both of her arms, pulling them behind her.

"No! Let me go!" she yelled.

Nearby, someone heard her yelling and ran to the Hanged Man to fetch Varric and Isabela. "Mistress Hawke is in trouble, Varric. She needs help!" the boy said.

Varric nodded, grabbed Isabela and they followed the boy to where Melisandria was being attacked. The thugs were trying to rape her, pulling at her clothes. Varric and Isabela watched as Melisandria broke free, only to have one of the thugs grab her braid, pulling her back. She cried out in pain and Isabela swore like the sailor she was.

"Mel, we're coming!" Isabela yelled, throwing a dagger right at them. The dagger sliced through Melisandria's braid, cutting Melisandria free. Not caring about her hair being cut, Melisandria grabbed her staff and threw a spirit bolt at the thugs. Varric, Isabela, and Melisandria fought off the thugs, only having to kill one or two of them. Melisandria cornered one of the thugs, the one who grabbed her initially.

"You will leave here immediately." she said, grabbing the dagger Isabela threw. "I never want to see you face or any of your idiot companions' faces in Kirkwall ever again. If I do, you're dead."

"You think we're scared of you?" the thug laughed.

Furious, she drew the dagger across the man's face, leaving a gash that ran the length of his face. The man screamed in pain.

"You still think I'm joking?" Melisandria demanded. "Leave now and never return."

The thug squirmed out of her reach and ran off, a trail of blood following him. Melisandria wiped the blade of the dagger on her cloak and handed it back to Isabela.

"Thank you, Isabela, Varric. I don't know what I would have done without you." she said.

"Hawke, what were you thinking coming here alone?" Varric asked. "You know how dangerous it is out here, especially for beautiful young woman."

Melisandria felt tears in her eyes. "I don't know, I just needed to think..." she said, putting her face in her hands.

Isabela pulled her into a hug, letting her cry as she glared at Varric. "Hush now, little Hawke." she said, trying to comfort her.

"I don't know what went wrong, Isabela." Melisandria said into her shoulder. "I gave him everything and he left me..."

"Fenris?" Isabela asked. "What exactly happened between you two?"

Melisandria looked up. "I gave him my innocence, Isabela. That night... I gave it to him and he left me..."

Isabela's eyes widened in shock. "You gave up your virginity to him and he left you?"

Melisandria nodded.

"Hawke, I'm not sure what to say here, I have no experience in this matter, but I'm sorry." Varric said.

Hawke managed a smile, but it soon faded. She was bleeding on her side. "I need to go see Anders." She said as she tried to hide it.

Isabela knew better and offered to help her down to Darktown and Varric went to go make sure that the thugs were really gone. Isabela helped Melisandria down to the clinic, getting there fairly quickly. Anders looked up and saw them come in, then saw the blood dripping from Melisandria. Her hair was shorter, so he didn't recognize her. Melisandria sank to her knees, passing out and dragged Isabela down with her.

"Little help here?" Isabela asked.

Anders hurried over and helped her take Melisandria to a cot. As they laid her down, Melisandria's head fell to the side, her hair falling away from her face.

"Mel!" Anders said in surprise. "What happened, Isabela?"

"From what Varric and I saw, Mel was out by herself at the docks and some thugs came up to her, grabbing her and tried to rape her. One of Varric's informants came to get us. When we got there, she was surrounded. She managed to break free for a moment, but one of them grabbed her hair, so I threw a dagger and it cut through her hair, letting her free. I didn't even see her get injured, but there were a lot of thugs, so I wouldn't be surprised."

Anders nodded. "She's unconscious, so it'll take some time. I'll take a look at her injury. Thank you for bringing her here."

Isabela nodded and left, deciding to go pay Fenris a visit. She walked through the streets of Darktown, up through Lowtown, and up into Hightown. She was furious that the one person she could call her best friend had been hurt so badly. She burst through the front door and marched up the stairs to the study, where she found Fenris sulking near the fireplace.

"How dare you, elf." she yelled, smacking Fenris across the cheek.

"What?" Fenris asked, his cheek pulsating.

"How dare you do that to her?" Isabela asked. "Mel told me what happened between you two. How could you be so heartless?"

Fenris' face fell and the pain in his cheek no longer bothered him. "I thought it best..."

"How could you be that stupid? You took her virginity, Fenris, did you know that?"

Fenris shook his head. "I had no idea." Now he felt even worse.

"Fenris, that poor girl is hurt. Bad. She walked into the most dangerous part of the docks and almost got raped. Varric and I had to come help her when one of his informants came to get us. She cut one her assailants' face as a warning and told them never to come back or she'd kill them." Isabela told him. "Does that sound like the sweet mage we all know and love? Does that sound like the Mel who always keeps her cool, tries to find the most diplomatic solution to every problem?"

Fenris looked up at her, the pain of leaving her clear in his eyes. "I left to protect her. I started to remember things when we... I just didn't want to risk her getting hurt..."

Isabela rolled her eyes. "Fenris, you know that girl loves you. Yet, in trying to protect her from being hurt, you do the worst possible things: take her virginity and break her heart."

Fenris didn't know what to say. Isabela sighed. "Don't ever hurt her again." she said and left.

Fenris sat there feeling even worse than before. He stared at the fire, thinking things over. He grabbed a bottle of wine and sat there, drinking straight from the bottle as he mulled things over in his head.

Meanwhile, back in the clinic, Anders was working on Melisandria's wounds. She had been stabbed pretty deep into her right side, but Anders removed her waist cincher and moved the tunic out of the way to clean the wound. He tried to be gentle, but he was able to patch her up. He sat there and waited for Melisandria to wake up. After about an hour, Melisandria stirred, sitting up and wincing.

"Easy, Mel." Anders said.

"What happened? Last I remember I was at the docks." she said, a hand at her side.

"Isabela brought you in. You were stabbed in the side when you fought off the thugs who attacked you. You passed out right as you got here." he explained.

"How long have I been out?" Melisandria asked.

"Only about an hour or so." Anders said, handing her some water. "You need to be more careful, Mel."

"Anders, I've told you before, don't worry so much." Melisandria said, managing a smile.

"Mel, you have to be careful, especially around the docks. What if something worse had happened to you? I don't know what I would have done."

"Anders, you've been so good to me. Thank you for everything." Melisandria said.

Varric came in with a grim look on his face. "Hawke, I have some bad news."

"What is it Varric?" she said, trying to stand.

"You may want to stay seated, Hawke. It's about Carver." he said, handing her a letter. "I got this at the Hanged Man, thought you should see it."

Melisandria took the letter and saw that it was addressed to her, regarding Carver. As she read it, her heart sank:

"To the Hawke family,

In regards to Carver Malcolm Hawke:

I am not pleased to inform you that Carver did not survive the Joining.

He was buried here in Fereldan with honors,

having requested to be buried alongside his comrades at Ostagar.

Enclosed is a dagger he wished to be delivered to you.

I am truly sorry for you loss; we did what we could to save Carver.

My condolences to you and your family.

~Ser Stroud of the Grey Wardens"

"Carver..." she said, tears spilling from her eyes. "I'm so sorry..."

Anders put a hand on her knee, but Melisandria fell into his shoulder, sobbing. Anders was surprised, but he pulled her into his arms and held her. Varric said he was going to take the letter to Leandra and left the two alone in the clinic. Anders sat there for a while, letting Melisandria cry into his robes.

"Mel, I am so sorry. I thought that Carver would be able to survive the Joining." he said when she seemed to calm down a bit.

"I don't understand what happened... Carver was so strong... he should have been able to survive something like that..." she said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Anders tucked her hair behind her ear. "I thought he'd be ok, but I guess I was wrong."

"What am I going to do with Mother? She's going to be so broken hearted." Melisandria said.

"You should go home, Melisandria. Be with your mother; she's going to need you." Anders said.

Melisandria put her hand on his cheek and pressed her forehead against his. "Thank you, Anders. For everything." She kissed his forehead and left.

Anders could still feel the warmth of her kiss on his forehead and the warmth of her breath on his face. He sighed, not sure how things would play out.

It had been weeks since the Hawke family got word of Carver. Melisandria and Leandra were both heartbroken at the loss of yet another of the Hawke family. Leandra was going to see Gamlen one day, but she never showed. Melisandria was reading upstairs when she heard Gamlen yelling.

"What's the matter, Uncle?" she asked.

"Where's your mother? Is she feeling alright?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm sure that she's alright. What's this about?"

"Your mother didn't show up for our weekly visit. Is she ill? She is here, isn't she?" he demanded.

"No, Gamlen, we haven't see her all day." Bodahn said.

"Where could she be?" Gamlen wondered.

"With her suitor, perhaps?" Bodahn suggested.

"Suitor? Leandra never mentioned a suitor." Gamlen scoffed.

"Well, those lilies arrived for her this morning." Bodahn said, pointing to the side table with a vase of white lilies.

"Wait, white lilies... that sounds familiar; I know something about that." Melisandria began.

"Well, don't keep me waiting. What is it?" Gamlen demanded.

"There's a killer in Kirkwall who sends his victims white lilies before he takes them." Melisandria explained, a look of worry on her face. "He's murdered several women already. I know someone who can help: Gascard Du Puis."

"No, you're wrong. Leandra is fine." Gamlen said in denial.

"Ignoring the facts doesn't change them, Uncle." Melisandria retorted.

"But you don't know for sure if she's in trouble. Maybe... maybe Leandra took another path to my house. I could have just missed her. I'm going back to Lowtown." Gamlen said and left in a hurry.

Bodahn suggested that Melisandria go and look for her mother, help Gamlen find her. Thankfully, Melisandria was fairly ready to go, having dressed in a blue tunic, brown leggings, and black boots. She grabbed her sleeveless cloak and staff. She hurried out, grabbing her pack from by the front door. She was hesitant, but she headed straight to Fenris' mansion. She opened the door and stepped into the main room.

"Fenris, are you home? I need your help." she called.

Fenris came out of the study and saw Melisandria standing there. "What is it, Melisandria?"

"My mother is missing and she received white lilies like those other women when we helped that templar Emeric with the murder case." she explained. "I wouldn't have come if I didn't really need your help."

Fenris felt his chest tighten, knowing how hard this must be for her. "I understand. Let me grab a few things."

"Actually, can you meet me at Anders' clinic? I'm going to ask Varric for his help, then Anders as well. I need to find Gascard Du Puis, and as I recall he said he'd be in Darktown." Melisandria said.

Fenris nodded and watched as Melisandria left, a pained and worried look on her face. He got his things together, then headed down to the clinic.

Meanwhile, Melisandria went to the Hanged Man to ask Varric for his help. Varric agreed and they hurried to the clinic. Fenris was already there and was having a glaring match with Anders. Anders was relieved to see her and Varric walk in.

"Mel, what's going on? Out of the middle of nowhere, this elf shows up in my clinic and doesn't say why he's here other than you asked him to meet you here." Anders asked, frustrated with Fenris.

"My mother is missing, Anders. She got white lilies this morning and hasn't been seen all day. I wanted you, Fenris, and Varric to help me find her and make sure she is OK."

"White lilies? Oh, Maker, Mel, I'm so sorry." Anders said, remembering what happened with Emeric.

"I need to find Gascard Du Puis and he's somewhere here in Darktown. Will you help me?" Melisandria asked.

Anders nodded. "Of course, it's the least I could do for you."

"Then let's not waste more time." Fenris said.

Melisandria nodded and they went to search for Gascard. Finding him, Melisandria called out to him and came to a stop next to him.

"Hawke," he said in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

"Gascard, my mother received flowers this morning. White lilies..." Melisandria said. "I need your help to find the killer, to find my mother before it's too late."

"Do you remember Alessa? As I predicted, he took her not long after you found us." Gascard explained, leaning on a nearby railing. "I have enough of her blood for one ritual to track them and it will lead us straight to the killer."

"Do it, please. Use the blood. I need to find my mother. Maybe it won't be too late for Alessa if we get there soon enough." Melisandria said, though if her mother really is the next victim then the chances of Alessa still being alive were very slim.

"Stand back; if there is anything of Alessa left in this world, this ritual will find her." Gascard said, pulling a dagger from his belt, slicing his hand.

Something came over him, levitating him before the glow around him burst, throwing him to the ground. Melisandria helped him to his feet and when he could walk, he led the way to the foundry where they had found the bag of bones and Ninette's wedding ring.

"You've been here before, haven't you?" Varric asked Melisandria.

"This is where Emeric's investigation led. There was someone here, but he ran off and we were attacked by shades. I found bits of the missing women, as well as the wedding ring of one of the victims, Ninette. Her husband had hired me to try and find her, bring her back home." Melisandria said.

"I wonder if we'll find something other than a bag of bones this time." Anders said.

"Mother must be here somewhere. We need to look around." Melisandria said as they progressed forward.

As they made their way through the halls of the foundry, they were attacked by shades and abominations. They fought their way into a large room, and when they were all gone, Melisandria saw someone to her left.

"Mother!" she cried out, running to the woman who was laying on a wooden table. She turned the woman onto her back and saw that it wasn't her mother. "Alessa!" She knew that they would be too late, but she had hoped.

Shaking her head, she left Alessa's corpse and went on ahead of the others as they followed closely behind. After a short while, Melisandria stopped, seeing something shiny on the ground. "I recognize this locket; it belonged to Mother. She wouldn't willingly part with it; it was a gift to her from my grandmother." she said and knew that they were getting close.

They moved forward down a large set of stairs, only to be met by more shades and abominations. When they were gone, Melisandria looked around at what looked like a shrine filled with furniture and a large portrait of a woman was hung above the fireplace.

"What is this?" she asked in disbelief at the portrait. "The woman in the painting, she... she almost l-looks like Mother."

"A shrine dedicated to a wife? A sister?" Anders suggested.

Anders knew the look that Melisandria had on her face. It was the look she had when Carver went with the Wardens, when Fenris had left her, when she had gotten news of Carver's death. He watched her walk away as she insisted on finding her mother.

They continued forward, going down another set of stairs and into a larger room where a man stood in front of someone sitting in a chair. Melisandria recognized his robes- he was the one who ran from the foundry when they first found the bones.

"I was wondering when you would show up." he said. "Leandra was so sure that you would come for her."

"You bastard, I am going to kill you!" Melisandria said, feeling the rage and pain and fear well up inside of her.

"I was afraid you might say that." Quentin said.

Gascard stepped forward. "Quentin!"

"Gascard! So you've reached me after all these years?" Quentin said, recognizing him. "I figured you gave up."

"You lying dirt bag!" Melisandria said, backing away from Gascard. "You knew his name this whole time? Why didn't you tell me his name was Quentin?"

"I had other things on my mind." he said. "You promised you would teach me, Quentin; you're going to deliver on that promise."

Melisandria couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I promised to teach you," Quentin said. "But I didn't promise to teach you everything."

Melisandria looked at Gascard. "I trusted you, Du Puis, gave you the benefit of the doubt. I knew that I should have trust my instincts instead of listening to what my mind told me. You knew all along and you let him do this? You are as much at fault for what happened to those women, to my mother. You'll pay for this deception."

"I didn't deceive you totally. The plan was always to kill Quentin and we can still work together. Once he's dead, you'll have your mother back and his research and writings will be mine."

Melisandria shook her head, her anger getting so intense that she was afraid that she would become an abomination.

"I'm sorry, Gascard," Quentin began to say. "When my wife died, I lost all hope. I wasn't able to be the mentor you deserved." He looked at Gascard. "But now that my work is finished, I can teach as you as I always meant to. Come back to me, Gascard."

"You'll let me be part of this? You'll teach me the secrets of necromancy?" Gascard began to say, but a bolt shot through his throat. Varric came up and pulled the bolt out of Gascard's throat.

"What?" he said, shrugging when Melisandria looked at him. "You were going to do that, right?"

Quentin looked back at the person sitting in the chair. "You will never understand my purpose. Your mother was chosen because she was special, and now she is part of something greater."

"Spare me the demented rambling. Where is she?" Melisandria demanded, drawing her staff from its sheath with one hand and pulling out Carver's dagger with the other.

"She is here, she is waiting for you." Quentin replied, looking behind him. "I have done the impossible. I have touched the face of the Maker and lived."

Melisandria shook her head in disbelief, her anger fading and her fear for her mother growing.

"Do you know what the strongest force in the universe is?" Quentin said. "Love. I pieced her together from memory. I found her eyes, her skin, her delicate fingers, and finally her face. Oh, this beautiful face! I searched far and wide to find you again, beloved, and no force on this earth will part us! "

The person in the chair stood, revealing that is was a woman, but when the woman turned around, Melisandria's heart dropped. "Mother, no!"

The woman was Leandra, but she looked like she was in pieces, stitched together like a doll. Melisandria felt tears stinging her eyes and she felt her anger well up again. Not caring if she became an abomination, she rushed at Quentin, only to be stopped by dozens of shades and abominations, as well as desire demons that had possessed the spirits of Leandra, Ninette, and Alessa, and corpses. Having no other choice, Melisandria turned and focused her anger into her magik, not letting it consume her but instead channel it into energy that she used against her enemies. She fought and fought, scaring Varric, Fenris, and Anders with her attacks. They knew she was angry, but when the enemies were all defeated save Quentin, they saw a whole new and terrifying side of her that not even she knew she had.

Turning to where Quentin had teleported himself, Melisandria threw Carver's dagger at him, hitting him square in the middle of his deranged face. The man who had killed some many women and had practically killed her mother was in turn killed by Melisandria and Carver by extension of his dagger, avenging their mother. Melisandria pulled the dagger from the bastard's skull and turned to see that Leandra had stumbled over to her. As she fell, Melisandria called to her as she caught her in her arms, kneeling on the ground as she cradled her dying mother in her arms.

"There's nothing I can do," Anders said. "His magik was the only thing keeping her alive."

"I can't let her die like this!" Melisandria said. She summoned all of her spare magikal energy and used the strongest healing spell she knew, pushing the spell into Leandra's body but to no avail. She somehow ended up reopening the wound that Anders had healed a few weeks earlier. Ignoring the blood gushing out of her side, Melisandria looked at her mother, tears falling onto her tortured face.

"I knew you would come." Leandra managed to say.

"Mother, I'm sorry! I tried to find you!" Melisandria said.

"Shh." Leandra said. "Don't fret, darling. That man would have kept me trapped in here, but now I am free." Leandra reached up to her face with great difficulty. "I never told you how much I liked your hair this way. You are so beautiful. Don't worry, Mel. I will get to see Bethany, Carver, and your father again. But you'll be all alone."

"I failed you, Mother. I'm so sorry. I failed Bethany, I failed Carver, and now I have failed you, too." Melisandria said through the sobs she was trying to hold back.

"My little girl has become so strong." Leandra said, managing a pained smile. "I love you. You've always made me so proud..."

And with those last words, Leandra took her last breath and the small light that had lingered in her eyes vanished. Melisandria laid her mother gently on the ground and stood. She stepped back to her companions and summoned a fire spell, pushing herself past her limits and engulfing her mother in flames. She then summoned an ice spell, one that is effective with fire spells, and tossed it into the flames. Melisandria stood there, watching her mother's body burn as her companions stood there helpless. They stood there until the flames were dead and as the smoke cleared, they saw a pile of crystalized ashes where Leandra's body had been. Melisandria's combinations of the two spells created a unique pairing that resulted in the hot ashes of Leandra turning into tiny ice crystals that shined as bright as her smile had in life. Then, summoning a wind spell, she directed the wind to pick up the ashes and fly out a nearby window and out towards the sea.

"Hawke..." Varric said, putting a hand on her arm.

"Let's get out of here." Melisandria said, her voice hurt, heartbroken, angry, and icy and the tears stinging her eyes. "I need to tell Gamlen that Mother is gone."

Melisandria turned and began to walk away, but Anders noticed blood dripping behind her. He wasn't sure if it was her own or if it was the blood of the abominations and other dark creatures they had just killed. They were all covered in their blood. He was just about to say something to her, but Fenris glared at Anders because of the way he was looking at her, only to receive a smirk in return. Varric could feel the tension and pushed them in separate directions, trying to minimize any potential fighting. They then walked in silence and soon enough, were back in Lowtown and went their separate ways. Fenris followed close behind Melisandria, only taking a different path when he knew she made it home safely before he himself went home.

Melisandria tried to heal the wound enough to hide it from her uncle and she found Gamlen back at her estate, waiting for her. She sat in the chair closest to the fireplace in the library as Gamlen came down from the upper library floor.

"Did you find her?" he asked, sounding hopeful.

"She's dead, Uncle, murdered." Melisandria said, trying to be strong for her last remaining relative.

Gamlen's face fell. "You were right about the flowers, about everything. I-I can't believe she's gone."

"I'm sorry, Uncle. I know it hurts, but Mother wouldn't want us to dwell on it." Melisandria replied.

"I'm not you." Gamlen retorted. "I can't just shove my grief into a corner and forget it."

Standing, Melisandria looked at her uncle with tears in her eyes. "Is that what you think I am doing? I am trying to be strong for the both of us, like Mother would have wanted. You and I are the only family we have left and I can't say that I am proud of that. I have lost my father, my sister, my brother, and now my mother, too. You may have some idea what that's like from losing your mother and father and your sister, but you weren't there, Gamlen. You didn't see what that monster did to my mother!" she retorted right back at him. "I tried to save her, I tried with every ounce of magik that I could muster and used the strongest healing spell I had to try and save her, but she was already far beyond saving. I held her in my arms, listening to her last words. I burned her body and sent her ashes to the sea because I knew that she loved the sea and I knew that you couldn't handle the sight of her if you saw what that bastard did to her."

Taken aback, Gamlen suddenly felt ashamed of himself. "W-Why her? Why Leandra?"

"Would it make you feel better if I told why?" Melisandria asked.

Gamlen shook his head. "No, it wouldn't. Did you at least make him pay?"

"I killed him with no mercy. I made him pay dearly for what he did to her." Melisandria told him.

"Good, I hope it hurt." he replied. "You've had a long day, so I'll leave you to yourself. Take care, my dear." Then he left, never thinking to return to the estate again.

Fighting back her tears, Melisandria couldn't bear it anymore. She ran up to her room, closing the door and let herself cry. She cried harder than the night that Fenris had left her, sobbing into her hands. She felt as if she could fill the entire harbor with the tears she was shedding. A knock came from the door and Fenris walked in.

"I'm not sure what to say, but I am here if you need me." he said and came to sit on the bed.

"Is it my fault, Fenris? Is there something that I could have done differently that would have kept Mother alive?" she asked, searching his eyes for answers. When he was silent, she looked away saying, "Say something... Anything..."

"I hear they say death is only a journey." Fenris said.

"I suppose they also say that you return to the Maker's side when you die." Melisandria said.

"I have heard that as well," Fenris replied. "Though I do not think that filling this time with empty talk is going to help much."

Knowing he was right, Melisandria put her hands to her face and sighed. She didn't know what to do, what to say, or how she was going to get through this. Gamlen was her only family left now, but she knew he blamed her for Leandra's death even if he didn't say it. Fenris sat next to her for a while, silent. He looked at her, seeing that she was holding back her tears, her sorrow, keeping it bottled up inside. He moved his hand to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, not realizing that he was doing it. Melisandria looked at him, her face full of pain and loss. Fenris felt his heart get heavy at the sight of her looking like that.

"I should go." he said, starting to stand.

Melisandria grabbed his hand for a moment, stopping him. "Fenris... whatever has happened between us... I'm glad that I still have you in my life... I need you..."

Fenris squeezed her hand. "I will always be here for you." he said. "Would you like me to stay?"

He almost sounded hopeful, but Melisandria shook her head. "It's alright, Fenris. I appreciate you coming, but you don't have to stay."

Fenris nodded and left. Melisandria followed him to the balcony and watched as he went down the stairs and left the estate, never looking back. Melisandria's heart ached, but she couldn't cry the pain out. Something was keeping her from crying, from relieving herself of everything that was bottled up inside of her. She felt her head pounding, so she went to lay down and try to get some sleep. She lay in bed, staring at the fabric of her canopy. She didn't know how long she stared at the fabric, but she somehow managed to fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, Melisandria woke up feeling worse than before. She changed out of her clothes and drew a hot bath, letting her body slip into the near boiling water. The hot water felt wonderful on her aching body, the steam rising from the water relaxed her. Orana knocked on the door and came in.

"Mistress, would like me to bring you anything?"

"Could you bring some elfroot in here?" Melisandria asked. "Crush it up in a mortar bowl, or get some elfroot powder. I can mix it up in the water and it'll help me relax."

Orana nodded and went to the kitchen and found a jar of powdered elfroot, grabbed it and brought it up to Melisandria's room.

"Thank you, Orana." Melisandria said.

"How much would you like in the water, Mistress?" Orana asked, opening the jar.

"There should be a spoon inside the jar. If you wouldn't mind, three spoonfuls should do." Melisandria said.

Orana nodded and did as she was instructed. "Anything else?"

"No, thank you. Just let me know if anyone asks for me?" Melisandria said.

"Of course, Mistress." Orana said with a smile. "I am sorry about your mama, Mistress." she added, her smile fading. "I will miss her."

Melisandria managed a sad smile. "I will, too. Thank you, Orana."

Orana nodded and left Melisandria to herself. Melisandria mixed the elfroot with her fingers, letting the healing properties of the herb soak into her skin and the fragrant aroma fill her nostrils as she breathed in deeply. She slid her whole body into the water, ducking her head underneath the surface to allow the most absorption of elfroot into her skin.

She stayed underneath the water for as long as she could and then resurfaced and sat in the tub until it started to get cold, then continued to sit there. She didn't mind the cold, in fact it felt just as good as the hot water against her skin. She felt the sting of salty tears as they left invisible stains of sorrow, pain, loss, and heart break on her face. Melisandria used a fire spell to heat the water back up and she heated it until it steamed and steamed, evaporating the water completely within the tub. She sat there for a bit longer, just in the empty tub until her buttocks hurt, then she climbed out of the tub. She felt her wound reopen as she stood and winced, trying to heal it shut again with a healing spell. It healed shut so she dressed in a black tunic with silver stitching and gray leggings. She pulled a pair of black boots and brushed out her hair. She touched the wolf head amulet at her chest plate and sighed. She needed to be somewhere alone, somewhere that no one would bother her, so she grabbed her staff and Carver's dagger and headed downstairs to the front door. Hammer wanted to come along, so Melisandria let him.

They walked through the streets of Hightown, passing by Fenris' mansion. Fenris had been standing by the window that looked over the streets as Melisandria walked by. He looked out the window and watched as she stopped to say hello to Liam and his friends. Fenris saw her smile, but he saw her pain and sadness. When the children ran off, Fenris watched as she stood and wrapped her arms around herself. He could see her tears beginning to slip from her eyes as she turned and hurried away.

Melisandria made her way through the streets and out into the Free Marches. She went to the moon flower grove and she found a secluded spot, up on a small cliff. She pulled her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around herself. She tried to contain her tears, but she couldn't and she let them flow like river waters. Hammer, below her, kept watch as he let his companion cry. He stood alert as she cried her sorrow and pain out. Melisandria couldn't take any more of the pain: the pain of losing Bethany, the pain of losing Carver, the pain of loving Fenris with all of her heart and being rejected by the one person she gave everything to, and the pain of losing her mother. All of the pain and suffering she had to go through since the Blight came pouring out of her all at once. Her heart ached, her mind reeled; everything just came crashing down around her. Her whole world was being turned upside down and spun in all directions. She had no one left in the world who understood her, no one in the world who knew her and how to help her. No one, not one person…

It was a quiet day in the clinic, so Anders had decided to go into the Free Marches to gather some healing herbs. He wandered through the marches, gathering up what he could find, only stopping when he noticed Hammer standing guard nearby.

"Hammer, what are you doing here?" he asked, coming up to the mabari.

Hammer looked up at the mage, then towards the cliff above them where Melisandria was sitting, whining a little.

"Hawke is up there?" Anders asked.

The mabari seemed to nod and let Anders go up and continued to stand guard.

As he reached the top of the cliff where his friend sat, her face buried in her arms as they encircled her knees, he reached out a gentle hand to her. "Hawke?"

"What have I told you, Anders? Don't call me Hawke, it's too formal."

Anders smiled in relief, but it quickly faded when he saw her face. Her eyes were red from crying and her cheeks were flushed. She looked like she had let everything out of her, everything she kept bottled up to be strong for everyone else. "Are you alright?"

She nodded. "I needed to get away for a while, just to be alone. I couldn't take it anymore and it just poured out of me."

He sat down next to her and put an arm around her. "I'm sorry about everything. You've been through so much and I am so sorry I cannot help you more."

"Anders, you've always been there for me, always listened to me, always helped me without question. You've done more than enough for me." Melisandria said, settling in against Ander's chest. "Thank you…"

"For what?"

"For being here. For taking care of me."

Anders smiled and hugged her tightly. "Are you going to be alright?"

"In time, yes." Melisandria said. "I've lost everything and everyone that I ever loved. I have no one left now that Mother is gone."

"That's not true." Anders said. "You have Varric, Isabella, Hammer, Bodahn Fedic and his boy, Orana, your uncle Gamlen, Aveline. You even have that broody elf, Fenris."

Melisandria looked up at him and smiled. "I guess that means I have you, too, then?"

Anders kissed her forehead. "Always. Melisandria, no matter what happens, I will always be here for you."

Melisandria looked up at him, searching his eyes. Anders had always been there for her, no matter what. He was always helpful, saved her life a few times, and was always appreciative and grateful when she helped him. He was a mage, just like her, one who faced the same persecution as she did, and had been through just as much as she had. He had seen the Blight, full on, while she had to lose her entire family to the evils of the world. He knew what she was going through better than anyone else they knew.

As Melisandria searched his eyes, Anders searched hers and the exact same thoughts crossed his mind. She was beautiful and the more time he spent with her, fought with her, healed with her the more he fell in love with her. He knew that her heart belonged to Fenris, but he knew that the elf had broken her heart and left her.

"What would I ever do without you, Anders?" Melisandria said with a soft smile.

"Well, you wouldn't have anyone to talk to now would you?"

Melisandria giggled at that and rested her head against his shoulder. "You're the best, Anders. You're always there no matter what. You always seem to know what to say."

Anders rubbed her shoulder and sighed.

"Can we stay like this, for a little bit longer?" Melisandria asked.

Anders nodded, a soft smile on his lips. "Of course."

And so they sat there, Anders holding Melisandria, for a few hours. The sun was starting to set and Anders sat up with Melisandria.

"We should get you home." He said, helping her up.

Melisandria was tired, but she took Anders' hand and held onto it tightly. He helped her down the cliff side, but she winced and put her other hand to her side.

"Damn…" she said, looking at the blood on her hand.

Anders saw the blood and sat her down on a boulder. "Mel, you should have told me you reopened it. When did this happen?"

"After Mother died… I tried to ignore it, but it keeps reopening no matter how many times that I healed it. Could you take a look at it? I feel that with all that's happened, my magik isn't working properly."

Anders nodded and looked at her wound. He couldn't understand how she could have reopened a wound healed with magik. Shaking his head, he healed the wound close and helped her to stand before he led her back into town. Hammer followed closely behind, sticking as close to Melisandria as he could. As they walked, Melisandria slid her hand into Anders' and held on firmly. Anders smiled at her and squeezed her hand gently, trying to comfort her. They walked together, hand in hand, back to the Amell estate.

"Anders, would you like to come in? There's something I want to show you." Melisandria asked.

Anders nodded and followed her inside. Hammer trotted in behind them and went over to the fireplace. Melisandria led Anders into the cellar and to the door that led into Darktown.

"Here." Melisandria said, handing him the key to the cellar door. "This door leads into Darktown, just outside of your clinic. Carver and I found it when we first came to Kirkwall, when Mother told us about it. She had asked us to find some documents her parents left in the estate when they died. Occasionally, this is how I get to Darktown to come and see you."

"I can't take this, Mel." Anders said, trying to hand it back.

"Please, I want you to take it." She insisted, closing his hand around it. "I want you to be able to come and go as you please, and if they come for you in Darktown, you need this key to come here. I want you to have a place to escape to if they come for you. I want you to be safe and this is the only thing that I can think of to keep you safe."

Anders looked at her, taking in her beauty as the candle lights danced off her skin. "Mel, I…"

Melisandria shook her head. "Anders, please. I can't lose anyone else. Bethany, Carver, Fenris, and now Mother… Please, Anders, take it. As long as you still have this key, you are always safe here."

Anders saw the urgency in her eyes, as she pleaded silently with him. He nodded. "Very well."

"Thank you." She said, relieved. She looked up at him, smiling. "This means you can come visit me whenever you want, too."

Anders smiled, cupping her chin in his fingers. "I may just have to, now."

Melisandria's smile grew bigger. She kissed his cheek and looked at him. "You better. I miss our talks. Now, would you like to stay for dinner?"

Anders thought a moment, then shook his head. "I wish I could, but I should get back to the clinic." He saw her face fall, immediately regretting it. "I'll come see you for breakfast, how about that?"

Melisandria perked back up a little and nodded. "See you in the morning, then?"

Anders smiled. "In the morning."

Melisandria watched as he left the cellar and climbed down the ladder into Darktown. She turned back to the cellar and went back to her room. She sat in her armchair by the fireplace and picked up a book. As she started to read it, Orana brought up a tray of food for her.

"Mistress, are you hungry?" she asked, standing there with the tray in her hands.

"Oh, thank you, Orana. You can just set it on the table here." Melisandria said, motioning to the side table next to her.

Orana looked at the book her mistress was reading. She hadn't learned to read, never having needed it as a slave. "What do you have there, Mistress?"

Melisandria looked at the book. "It's about Shartan. He was the elf slave who rose up against the ruling powers of Kirkwall and his uprising freeing the city. I was going to give it to Fenris- I thought he might like it- but I don't think it would be appropriate now."

"Why is that?"

"Well, Fenris and I aren't together. We don't talk anymore."

"You should take it to him anyway. I think he would enjoy it nonetheless."

Melisandria smiled sadly, knowing that she was right. "I'll take it to him tomorrow."

Orana smiled and bid her a goodnight. Melisandria went back to reading her book. Maybe Orana was right, she thought to herself. As she enjoyed the dinner Orana had brought her, Melisandria began to think about Fenris, something of which she hadn't done for weeks.

Memories of him came flooding back and she felt tears in her eyes. She still loved Fenris with all her heart and knew she might never move on or find anyone to make her as happy as Fenris did, but she still needed him in her life. She thought more and more on it and while she would always love Fenris, she knew she may never get him back. She knew that she would eventually have to move on. Perhaps spending some time with him would help her work through whatever she needed to work through in regards to the man she loved. Noticing how late it had gotten, Melisandria set her dishes to the side and placed the book next to her as she laid down on the bed. She looked up at the canopy of her bed and stared at the deep red fabric. She stared for so long that she watched the last embers of the fire die out. Rolling onto her side, Melisandria closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

A knock sounded on the door and Fenris looked up as Melisandria stepped into the study.

"Fenris?"

"Hawke, what is it?"

"Fenris…"

Fenris realized he had reverted back to old ways. "Forgive me. It has been some time since we last spoke."

"It's alright." Melisandria replied. She pulled the book out from her pack and handed it to Fenris. "This is for you. It's a book on a subject you are familiar with. The book is about Shartan, the elf who helped Andraste free the slaves. You know about him, right?"

Fenris nodded. "A little. It's just that slaves are not permitted to read. I never learned."

"It's not too late to learn, Fenris. I can teach you, if you wish."

"Isn't it? Sometimes I wonder." Fenris said, then saw Melisandria's face fall. He had already put her through so much, but he could see that even through everything she had suffered through in the weeks passed, she was still trying to include him in her life. "I don't mean to seem ungrateful, Mel. I do appreciate the thought."

Melisandria looked up at him and smiled a little.

"I have always wanted to learn more of Shartan." Fenris added, his mood lightening at the sight of her smile. "Perhaps this is my chance."

"I can teach you whenever you want. If you want me to." Melisandria offered. "You don't have to if you don't wish to, but I have read this book many, many times and I thought perhaps you might like to have it."

Fenris looked from her to the leather bound book. Melisandria had come all the way to his home, just to bring him the Book of Shartan herself when she could have sent Orana or Bodahn to bring it to him. She came to see him, to give him something special to her, to offer him a chance to learn how to read and to spend time with him. As he realized how much pain she must be in to even be in the room with him, Fenris looked back up at her and searched her eyes. She looked at him for a moment, then towards the fire. He wondered if she was alright, if she had forgiven him, if she even cared for him still.

The light of the fire in the hearth danced across the mage's face, illuminating her fair skin, elfroot green eyes, and raven black hair. Fenris never really noticed how it looked being so much shorter than before, but as it fell in short waves around her face, framing her cheeks and jawline, he realized how much he liked it. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and looked up at him.

"I will accept you help." Fenris said, simply longing to be near her again. "Will you teach me how to read, Mel?"

Melisandria smiled at him, tiredly. "Of course, Fenris."

"When would you like to start?"

"I do not have plans today." She replied. "If you are not busy, we could start now. Else, we can wait until tomorrow."

"I was not planning on going anywhere, so we may start now."

Melisandria smiled and sat on the couch and patted the spot next to her. "Come and sit."

Fenris sat down next to her and opened up to the first page of the book.

"Alright, we shall start out small." Melisandria said, then she began to teach Fenris how to recognize each written word and sound them out, one at a time.

It had been a few months since Melisandria had come to teach Fenris to read. She came by every day when she had time, in between jobs, and sat there with him, working through each word, each phrase, each paragraph and section, each chapter. Fenris got frustrated many times, but Melisandria believed in him and told him not to give up.

It was another normal day for the two of them, just an uneventful day filled with teaching. Melisandria lay on the couch behind Fenris as he sat on the floor, his back resting against the edge. He had gone through the whole book several times with Melisandria, but she was now having him read to her from the beginning. Melisandria lay on her side as she listened to Fenris slowly read through the book, moving from chapter to chapter with growing ease. She smiled as he pronounced each word clearly and carefully, making sure that he understood what it was that he was reading.

As he read, Fenris felt Melisandria's warm breath on his ear and neck, the soft touch of her hand as she rested a hand on his shoulder. He hadn't forgiven himself for what he did to her, but he was beginning to believe that she had. Or was starting to. He continued to read to her and felt comfortable being near her again, something he hadn't been able to feel in months.

As he finished reading the book, a couple hours having passed, Fenris closed the book and looked behind him at Melisandria. She had fallen asleep somewhere towards the ending of the book, the softness of Fenris' voice lulling her to sleep as he read. She hadn't been able to sleep lately, her nightmares coming at her once again with full force. This time, though, the horrors of losing her mother were added, as well as the night she last saw Carver. For once, as Fenris read, could Melisandria sleep peacefully.

Fenris turned and watched her sleep, missing how peaceful her face was as she slept, so gentle, so serene and calm. He put a hand to her cheek and brushed away some of her hair as it slipped from behind her ear. He smiled at her beauty, having missed being so near to her. He was about to stand and grab a blanket for her, but Melisandria woke up, nuzzling into his hand.

"Fenris?" she asked, looking up at him through tired eyes.

"You fell asleep." He said, moving up to the couch next to her. "It would seem that my words are so boring that they lulled you to sleep."

Melisandria sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Hardly. You are getting much better as each day passes, Fenris. I just haven't been sleeping well of late and your voice was soothing."

He looked at her as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Why have you not been able to sleep?"

"My nightmares started coming back." She said, pulling her knees into her arms. "Not just the ones of Bethany, but now losing Carver and seeing Mother like that…. It's just been too much, lately…"

Fenris wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms, but he knew he had to keep his distance. He put a hand on her arm. "It is always hard when one loses those they care about. Time will heal all wounds, you just need to be patient."

Melisandria looked at him and smiled a little. "I know, but the pain has woven itself so deep in my heart that sometimes I cannot bear it. My chest aches, my mind reels, everything around me spins out of control. I can't handle it by myself."

Fenris squeezed her arm gently, in as comforting way as he could. "You have each of us here for you to help you through it all."

Melisandria smiled. "Well, thank you for reading to me. You have been getting much, much better at reading." She stood and stretched. "I should get going. Merrill needed to speak with me about something."

Fenris stood with her and walked her to the front door. "Be careful."

Melisandria smiled and nodded and said goodbye. Fenris watched as she walked across the courtyard and down towards Lowtown. He closed his door and went back to his study. He picked up the book of Shartan and continued to read, determined to finish the book on his own.

It was a long trek back down Sundermount and back home. Melisandria's mind was reeling from the battle with the Varterral, losing Pol, nearly losing Merrill to her own despairs as she fought to obtain the arulin'holm from the Keeper.

As she stepped inside her home, she went to her room and set her staff against the wall near her wardrobe, recalling the conversation she had with Merrill. The elf mage was so grateful to her for helping her get the arulin'holm. She explained that none among her kind could understand her efforts, fully appreciate what she is trying to do. Melisandria could understand, but the use of blood magik had her worried.

A knock sounded at her door and Orana stepped inside, bowing her head in greeting. "Mistress, you have a visitor. He is waiting in the library."

"Thank you, Orana. I will be down there shortly." Melisandria said.

When Orana left, Melisandria changed out of her clothes, pulled on a chemise and slipped into her robe before she went downstairs and into the library. She looked around and saw someone on the second floor of the library. When she reached the top of the stairs, she smiled.

"Anders!"

The mage turned and looked at her, a soft but tired smile on his lips. "Melisandria, I'm sorry to just drop in. I had no patients and I thought maybe we could talk."

Melisandria nodded. "Of course, what's on your mind?"

"This is something that has been on my mind for a long time…" Anders started pacing as he began. "I don't know how to do this…"  
Melisandria sat in one of the armchairs near the window. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Anders stopped for a moment and looked at her. It was time he told her how he felt, but he knew the way she looked at Fenris, the way he looked at her- or used to. He didn't want to prey upon the situation, but he couldn't hold it in any longer. "Mel, I…."

Melisandria felt a tightness in her chest. The only ones who ever called her Mel were her mother and Fenris. Anders had never called her Mel before and it made her heart race for an unknown reason to her.

"Over these past few years, you have been there for me. You have supported me and have had faith in me for so long, sometimes even when I don't deserve it. You have kept me from losing myself to Justice, from becoming more of a monster than I already am and I would do anything to repay you." Anders started, his tone becoming more urgent. "I can't think straight anymore; all I can think about, all I can dream about…" he paused and looked at her. "is you."

Melisandria's heart raced even faster now, hearing this.

"You are everything to me. You have shown me a kindness and acceptance that no one else ever has, not even the Warden Commander after she stopped the Blight and defeated the remaining darkspawn hordes. I cannot do anything anymore without considering how you would act, how you talk, how you would handle the situation. You've rubbed off on me in ways I never thought anyone could."

Melisandria stood and turned to look out the window. She wasn't sure what she was hearing or what to expect next.

"Mel, I have come to care for you in ways further than just a simple friendship. I would do anything to keep you safe. I worry for you, I ache for you, but I can't risk losing you, I can't risk hurting you."

Melisandria wrapped her arms around herself, closing her eyes. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Anders was professing his feelings for her. She loved Fenris more than anything, but she cared for Anders, too. She couldn't figure out what to do about any of it.

"Mel, I love you but I don't want to get in the way of what you and Fenris have." Anders said, his voice saddening.

At that, Melisandria turned and looked at him with tears in her eyes. "Anders…"

Anders' face fell when he saw the tears and he started to turn away. "Mel, I'm sorry… I-"

Melisandria shook her head and ran to him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face into his chest. "Anders, I love Fenris more than anything else in this world or in the Fade. He is the only one who has accepted me as a mage and as a person, looking past the magik and his own hatred for mages. You have been there for me, understood the things only mages could, but Fenris has given me something that I never thought to have in my lifetime to be possible."

Anders wasn't sure what to do, but he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close, letting her cry and let her get everything out.

"Anders, I gave Fenris everything I had and he left me. I have been heart broken and lost since then. I can't stop thinking about him and I am trying to get over him, but I can't. Then, I lost Mother and everything seems to keep going downhill from there. I don't know what to do…."

She cried and cried and Anders just held her. Her sobs were muffled in the thick fabrics of his robes.

"I keep losing everything and everyone closest to me. I fear I will lose Varric, Isabela, Merrill… I fear I will lose even you, Anders…" She continued. "I can't lose anyone else, Anders. Please don't leave me… Please don't ever leave me…"

Anders hugged her more tightly, his heart aching for her. He felt her pain as if it were his own and he didn't know what he should do or say. "Mel…"

She looked up at him. "Anders, I know you care for me, that you would do anything for me. Please, just promise that you will never leave me?"

Anders tried to manage a smile. "I promise." He kissed her forehead and squeezed her gently.

"Thank you…" Melisandria replied.

"It is getting late. Let's get you to bed." Anders said and led her from the library and back up to her room. She pulled off her robe and set it aside and let down her bun, her hair cascading down her back as she sat down on the bed.

"Anders, I'm sorry I can't give you the same love you have for me…" she said, pulling her knees up to her chest. "We have been through so much together and it would be easy for us to be together, but…"

"But you love Fenris." Anders finished.

Melisandria looked up at him. "With all my soul."

Anders put a hand on her arm. "Mel, I will always love you, no matter what, and I will always protect you with every ounce of strength that I can. I understand that your heart belongs to Fenris and I envy him for keeping it even after he hurt you so. But I will never stop loving you, and whatever comes our way, I will stand by you through it all."

Melisandria managed a smile at that and hugged the mage, her closest friend. He understood everything she was going through, knew her pains, her worries, her joys as a mage, something Fenris could never understand. He loved her because of her strength, her cunning, her diplomacy, for being herself. Fenris loved her for the same things, but he looked even further than that to see her very being, her very soul. She loved Anders as a friend, a companion, as family, but she loved Fenris in a deeper and more intimate way than she did Anders. She felt guilty for not loving him the way that he loved her, but she was glad to have someone who loved her as much as Anders felt she deserved.

Anders kissed her forehead and tucked Melisandria into bed before he let himself out. He bid Orana a good night and left through the cellar door and into Darktown, locking the door behind him. He tucked the key back into his robes, hidden next to the Tevinter Chantry amulet Melisandria had given him after they returned from the slave holding caves. He felt a relief, like a burden that had been lifted after he told Melisandria how he felt. He knew now that he would never be with her, but to know that she knew of his feelings made him feel better. She knew his heart was hers if she wished for it, but he was prepared that she would never take it.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Melisandria woke with a start as Hammer licked her face, whining. She must have had a horrible nightmare that scared the mabari, something that rarely happened. She rubbed his ears and made sure that he knew that she was ok. She got out of bed and got dressed in a purple tunic that had no sleeves and a v-cut down the center featuring a leather cord that weaved through the loop holes to tie it shut, a pair of dark brown light leather leggings, a pair of hard leather boots. She braided the top of her hair and let the rest hang loose. She looked in the large looking glass on her dresser and smiled. She was happy with her appearance. She touched the wolf head amulet Liam had given her as it rested against the center of her chest plate.

Ready for the day, Melisandria went down to the kitchen where Sandal and Bodahn and packed some food and wished them a good morning before heading out. She stopped by the Hanged Man to see if Varric wanted to come with her, as she was planning to go see the men who worked in the Bone Pit, the men who were under her protection. Varric said he missed the men and agreed to come along. Next, Melisandria stopped by Anders' clinic and then by Fenris' mansion, as they too had helped to eradicate the dragons to ensure the miners' safety. When they had joined her, they all made their way up through Hightown and out into the Free Marches towards the Bone Pit.

A short while after they started their trek, Hammer began to growl. Melisandria and her companions stopped and looked around, readying their weapons. A group of people that looked like Tevinters came up to them, surrounding them on all sides.

"Hunters..." Fenris said.

"Stop right there! You are in possession of stolen property." one of the hunters said from above them on the cliffs. "Back away from the slave now and you'll be spared."

Melisandria readied her staff and stepped in front of Fenris. "Fenris is a free man! He is not a slave and you will not take him!" she yelled back at the hunter.

"I won't repeat myself." the hunter said.

"And I won't repeat myself. You will not have him!" Melisandria retorted, interrupting the hunter.

"Back away from the slave now!" the hunter said again.

"I am not your slave!" Fenris cried and summoned his lyrium abilities, attacking the slavers.

Melisandria and the others followed suit, attacking the slavers and the hunters. Melisandria and Anders threw spell after spell at the hunters while Varric shot the hunters with Bianca's bolts and Fenris hacked away at them in a lyrium fitted rage. When they were all but dead, Fenris walked over to the remaining survivor.

"Where is he?" he demanded, grabbing the mage's hair and pulling his head back.

"Please, don't kill me!" the mage begged as Fenris slammed his face against the sandy ground.

"Tell me!" Fenris demanded.

"I don't know!" the mage said. "I don't know, I swear! Hadriana brought us! She's at the holding caves north of the city! I can show you the way!" The mage was pleading, trying to bargain with Fenris.

"No need." Fenris said. "I know which ones you speak of."

The mage looked up at Fenris as best he could and begged, "Then let me go. I beg you! I swear I won't-"

Ignoring the mage's pleas, Fenris said with a grimacing tone, "You chose the wrong master." and snapped the mage's neck.

Standing, with his back still to the others, Fenris growled the name Hadriana. As he turned to face the others, he said, "I was a fool to think I was free. They'll never let me be!"

Melisandria had sheathed her staff and looked at Fenris. "We have to do something. This cannot be allowed to continue any longer. Where do we need to go?"

"The holding caves held slaves in the old times, but apparently they are no longer abandoned." Fenris said. "We must go quickly, before Hadriana has a chance to prepare... or flee."

"Let's go then," Melisandria said.

Fenris nodded and led the way up Sundermount toward the holding caves. When they reached the entrance, Fenris stopped and looked at Melisandria. "We must be careful. Hadriana is my former master's old apprentice and she is just as ruthless. There were many such holding caves, especially in the mountains, where individual slavers kept private pens."

"Why would they keep pens?" Melisandria asked.

"They were designed to protect against raids by fellow slavers." Fenris explained. "No doubt it's why Hadriana chose this place."

"Do slavers attack each other often?" Melisandria asked.

"They did." Fenris replied. "What better way to find slavers than to steal them?"

"I see. Well then, let us move on so that we make sure that Hadriana doesn't escape us." Melisandria said.

"Let's hope this isn't a waste of time." Fenris said as he led them into the caves.

They walked through the caves and reached a room where there was a table with a bloody corpse laying upon it, clearly the remains of a sacrifice.

"See for yourself the work of the magisters." Fenris said as they passed by and continued down through the hallways.

As they made their way through the eerie tunnels of the holding caves, they passed several empty prisons. They encountered several corpses and skeletons that were brought to life by dark magik and fought their way through them. When they defeated them and moved on until they reached a large room, they were attacked by slavers. They battled the slavers until they had killed every last one in the room. Nearby, a young elf maiden stood, frightened.

"Are you hurt?" Fenris asked as they approached her. "Did they touch you?"

The elf maiden shook her head. "They've been killing everyone! They cut papa, they bled him..." she cried, tears and desperation in her eyes.

"Why?" Fenris asked. "Why would they do this?"

"It's a demon at work." Anders said. "By this point, there's nothing human left inside."

"The magister... she said she needed power, that someone was coming to kill her." the elf said. "We tried to be good! We did everything we were told! She loved papa's soup. I don't understand..."

"Is the magister still here?" Melisandria asked.

"I... think so." the elf replied. "The magister said they were to prepare for battle. I think she's very frightened!"

"She has every reason to be." Fenris said.

"Please, don't hurt her! She'll be so angry if you hurt her!" the elf begged.

"We may not have any choice." Melisandria said. "This has been terrible for you."

"Everything was fine until today!" the elf said.

"It wasn't," Fenris said, his face falling. "You just didn't know any better."

"Are you my master now?" the elf asked, sounding hopeful.

"What? No!" Fenris said, rejecting the idea.

"But... I can cook. I can clean! What else will I do?" the elf said.

Thinking for a moment, Melisandria smiled. "If you go to Kirkwall, I can help you. Wait at the Hawke estate and I'll head straight there when we are finished with our business here."

"Yes? Oh, praise the Maker! Thank you!" the elf said and ran off.

"I did not realize that you were in the market for slaves." Fenris snarled at Melisandria.

Melisandria smacked him across the face, hurt that he would even say a thing like that. "I gave her a job, Fenris. I will pay her just as I pay Bodahn and Sandal for their services. How dare you think that I would _ever_ take on a slave! What kind of person do you think I am?"

Varric and Anders stared in bewilderment when they saw how red Fenris' cheek was. Fenris put a hand to his throbbing cheek.

"I apologize. I should not have doubted you. It is good that you gave her a job, it will provide her with a new life and freedom." Fenris said, ashamed that he ever doubted Melisandria.

"Don't just go jumping to conclusions, Fenris." Melisandria said, her voice softening. "Now, let's find this magister and put an end to all this."

Fenris nodded and watched as Melisandria marched on forward through to the next room. He and the others followed behind her. Varric chuckled to himself, but shrugged and played dumb when Fenris glared at him. Anders thought he deserved it. They continued through the halls and finally made it to a large room where they had finally found Hadriana. Hadriana gasped when she saw Fenris and began to summon shades and rage demons and corpses in a frantic attempt to kill him and the others.

Melisandria and Anders drew their staffs, trying to use dispel spells to deflect Hadriana's spells. They fought off the demons and corpses, and when she managed to clear a pathway, Melisandria went at Hadriana. She threw spells at her and deflected the ones Hadriana threw at her. When she managed to dodge the spells and get in close enough, Melisandria began to beat Hadriana down with her staff, cutting her a few times with the blade at the end of her staff.

"How could you treat Fenris like that?" Melisandria yelled as she gave up on her staff and began to punch Hadriana with her fists. "He is not a slave and you cannot have him!"

Behind her, Fenris, Varric, and Anders had finished off the demons and corpses and were watching Melisandria beat the living hell out of Hadriana. They watched in awe and fear, having never seen her like that before.

"You know nothing, child!" Hadriana managed to say.

"I know nothing? How about you take a look in a mirror. Fenris is a free man; he has earned his freedom many times over! You will not take him from me!" Melisandria retorted and threw one final punch before she backed away, panting. "You will never know the freedom Fenris has found. You have become a slave to your own magik, allowing it to consume you. You make me sick!"

Fenris stepped forward with his sword drawn as Hadriana lay on the ground, beaten.

"Stop! You do not want me dead." Hadriana said, pleading for her life.

"There is only one person I want dead more." Fenris said.

"I have information, elf, and I will trade it in return for my life." Hadriana said.

Laughing in spite of her, Fenris said, "The location of Danarius? What good will that do me? I'd rather he lose his pet pupil."

"You have a sister." Hadriana said. "She is alive."

Melisandria could sense the shock of hearing that radiating off of Fenris.

"You wish to reclaim your life? Let me go, and I will tell you where she is." Hadriana said.

"How do we know you speak the truth?" Melisandria asked.

"You don't." Hadriana smirked. "But I know Fenris, and I know what he's searching for. If he wants me to betray Danarius, he'll have to pay for it."

"Fenris, this is your call. If she speaks the truth, it may be worth listening to what she has to say." Melisandria said, looking at Fenris.

As Fenris walked up to Hadriana, she asked, "So I have your word? I tell you, and you let me go?"

"Yes," he replied, leaning in close. "You have my word."

"Her name is Varania. She is in Qurinus serving a magister by the name of Ahriman." Hadriana informed him.

"A servant. Not a slave." Fenris said.

"She's not a slave." Hadriana confirmed.

"I believe you." Fenris said, then summoned his lyrium abilities and thrust his hand into her chest, crushing the magister's heart.

Standing, he began to walk away from Hadriana's corpse. "We are done here."

Melisandria looked at him, concerned. "Are you alright, Fenris? Do you wish to talk about it?"

"No, I don't want to talk about it!" Fenris retorted, turning angrily to face Melisandria. "This could be a trap! Danarius could have sent Hadriana here to tell me about this 'sister'."

Melisandria winced at his harsh tone. "But what if she is speaking the truth?"

"Even if he didn't, trying to find her would still be suicide! Danarius has to know about her and has to know that Hadriana knows." Fenris continued. "But all that matters is I finally got to crush that bitch's heart. May she rot and all the other mages with her."

Melisandria felt a pain in her chest when he said that and felt tears beginning to brew. Next to her, Anders made a snide comment. "And here I thought you were unreasonable..."

"Fenris, I'm sorry." Melisandria said, holding back her tears. She placed a hand on Fenris' shoulder and added, "Maybe we should leave..."

"No, I don't want you comforting me." Fenris retorted, shaking off her gentle hand. "You saw what was done here. There's always going to be some reason, some excuse why mages need to do this."

"Fenris, that's not fair and you know it!" Melisandria said, defensively. "We are not all like Danarius or Hadriana."

"You are but one mage I have yet met who hasn't shown me that you are like them." Fenris acknowledged. "Even if I found my sister, who knows what the magisters have done to her. What has magik touched that it doesn't spoil?"

"Is that how you truly feel about magik? Even after what we have been through?" Melisandria asked.

Ignoring her, Fenris put a hand to his forehead. "I... need to go." And with that, Fenris left the holding caves.

Melisandria watched him leave, not sure what to do. Next to her, Varric and Anders came up, not sure what to say or do either. Anders put a hand on her shoulder, trying to make sure that Melisandria was OK. Melisandria placed a hand on his and managed a smile.

"Let's get out of here." Varric said.

Melisandria nodded and they left. When they reached the outside world again, Fenris was nowhere to be seen. Figuring he went home, they made their own ways back to their homes after they had stopped by the Bone Pit. The workers were happy to see Melisandria, thanking her for the visit and for making the mines safe for them again. They even thanked her for getting them a raise- she had convinced them to go back to work after defeating the dragons by doubling their salary, knowing that Hubert would have to comply and knowing that the men more than deserved it. Satisfied that the workers were happy, they made their way back to town and went their separate ways.

When Melisandria got home, she sighed, taking her boots off near the front door, having gotten them caked with mud and not wishing to make more of a mess in the house. When she looked up, Fenris was sitting there on one of the benches, resting his arms on his knees.

"Fenris? What are you doing here?" Melisandria asked.

Fenris stood. "Mel, I..."

Shaking her head, Melisandria went into the next room. Bodahn and Sandal weren't around at that moment, so Melisandria assumed they went out to the market as they usually did on days like this. "Fenris, I don't even know what to say to you right now."

Stopping her by the fireplace, Fenris said, "I've been thinking about what happened with Hadriana. I took out my anger on you, undeservedly so. I was... not myself." He looked at her. "I'm sorry."

Melisandria looked at him, seeing that he was truly sorry and trying to find a way to make sure that she knew that. She sighed and said, "Fenris, I was worried about you. I had no idea where you went; I was concerned."

"I needed to be alone." Fenris said, looking away for a moment. "When I was still a slave, Hadriana was a torment. She would ridicule me, deny my meals, hound my sleep. Because of her status, I was powerless to respond and she knew it. The thought of her slipping out of my grasp now... I couldn't let her go. I wanted to, but I couldn't."

"What do you mean, Fenris?" Melisandria asked.

"This hate... I thought I'd gotten away from it. But it dogs me no matter where I go." he replied. "To feel it again, to know it was they who planted it inside me... it was too much to bear." Turning away, he added, "But I didn't come to burden you further."

"Fenris, don't go." Melisandria said. "You don't need to leave." She reached out and grabbed his arm.

He tensed and glowed as he pushed her against the wall, pinning her. When he realized what he was doing, he relaxed and backed away. "I'm sorry, but I think it best for both of us if I leave."

Leaving Melisandria leaning against the wall, dumbfounded, Fenris left the Hawke estate and went home. Feeling her heart pounding, Melisandria went to go lay down. A knock came from the door, though, and she went to answer it. The elf maiden from the holding caves was waiting outside.

"Ah, I finally found you!" she said.

"It's you!" Melisandria said with a surprised smile. "I am glad that you made it."

"It was difficult to find your home, but it is a good thing that you are as well-known as you are. The people here are very nice and were kind enough to point me to your home."

Melisandria let her come in. "What is your name?"

"Orana, Mistress." the elf said.

"That is a beautiful name. I am Melisandria Hawke."

Orana bowed in respect to her. "Thank you for letting me come here. I will serve you faithfully."

"Orana, if you are going to live here and work for me, it will be as my servant. I don't want you to continue to be a slave. You'll be paid like everyone else here and you will have your own room." Melisandria explained.

"I won't be a slave?" Orana asked. "But that's all I have ever known. Papa was a slave and his papa before him. I shall try my best, then, Mistress and do my best."

"You are welcome to come and go as you like, as well. Now, please, make yourself comfortable. If you'd like, in the morning, we can even go to the Hightown market and buy some clothes and other things for you so that you have more available to you."

Orana smiled. "I would greatly appreciate that, Mistress."

"Then it's settled. We shall go in the morning. Now, get some rest and I'll make dinner tonight." Melisandria said and showed Orana to her new room.

Going to the kitchen, Melisandria began to make dinner. She cut up some vegetables, some meat and fired up the stove. She put the meat in a skillet and filled a pot with water, then put the vegetables into the pot. Using one her mother's favorite recipes, Melisandria began to put everything together for the roast, steamed vegetables and potatoes, and a hearty gravy. When Bodahn and Sandal returned, Melisandria had finished dinner and had it ready and waiting.

"Mistress, you should not have made dinner." Bodahn said. "We would have done it."

"It's quite alright, Bodahn." Melisandria said. "Ah, there you are, Orana." she added as Orana entered the room. "Bodahn, this is Orana. I saved her from a magister and offered her a position here in the estate. She can cook and clean, so some of the burden will be taken off of you."

Bodahn smiled warmly at Orana and welcomed her to the estate. He introduced Sandal to her as well, and Melisandria smiled when Sandal danced around the kitchen in joy to have a new friend.

"You are part of the family now, Orana. I'm sure that you will meet my mother, Leandra, in the morning." Melisandria added.

Orana thanked them gratefully and bowed before she joined them around the kitchen table. They began to eat their meal and Bodahn entertained them with stories of his travels with Sandal. Some of them were beyond belief, some were funny, but they made everyone smile and enjoy the night. When the meal was over and the night had grown late, everyone retired for the night. Melisandria told everyone to take the rest of the night off and offered to clean everything up herself. Reluctantly, they went to bed and let Melisandria clean up things. When everything was clean and put away, Melisandria went to bed herself, Hammer close behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

The following morning, Melisandria woke and went downstairs for breakfast, dressed in a green and white dress with silver embroidery that came just below her knees. Beneath it, she wore tan leggings that came just above her ankles and green shoes. She tied her hair up in a bun, letting part of it hang down, and put a pair of jade earrings that hung down in a drop into her ears. As she entered the kitchen, Orana bowed in greeting and Leandra looked up with a smile.

"Good morning, dear. You look very beautiful today; green suits you well." she said.

"Thank you, Mother. I see that you have met Orana." Melisandria replied.

"Your mama is a very kind woman. I am glad to serve you both." Orana said.

Leandra smiled. "I like this girl. She made breakfast, too. It's very delicious; come have some."

Melisandria nodded and joined her family for breakfast. They ate and talked, Leandra tried to get to know Orana better. When breakfast was finished, Melisandria mentioned that she had offered to take Orana to the market in Hightown to get some personal things to spruce up her room and help her feel more welcome. Leandra thought it was a grand idea and wanted to come along, though couldn't because she had made plans to visit a close family friend for the majority of the day. Melisandria understood and suggested that they head out soon, so they cleaned up and left the Hawke estate to go to Hightown market.

Orana and Melisandria walked through the streets of Hightown to the market. Liam and some of his friends were out playing and stopped to say hello to Melisandria. Orana watched in amusement as Melisandria hugged Liam and asked how the children were doing. She glanced over and saw Fenris nearby, browsing the weapons stand. Fenris glanced up and was surprised to see Orana, but smiled in welcome, glad to see that she was alright. Then when he looked over at Melisandria enjoying herself, laughing and dancing around with the children, Orana watched his face soften at the sight of Melisandria and she knew that look immediately. She had seen her mama and papa look at each other like that once upon a time.

Liam and the others needed to go somewhere else, so Liam hugged Melisandria tightly and ran off with his friends. Melisandria smiled as he ran off and turned to Orana. She was still unaware of Fenris' presence nearby.

"You are a wonderful woman, Mistress. The children really love you." Orana said. "You have really made a difference in their lives."

"I have tried; someone has to look out for these children. Liam is such a dear boy." Melisandria said. "Now, let's see if we can find you something you like."

And with that, Melisandria and Orana spent hours browsing the wares, buying clothes, trinkets, and some furniture for Orana's room, all her choices so that it had the most personal touch possible. Done with their errands, they asked one of the stands' keeper if his assistant could help them bring things to the estate. The keeper agreed, sending a young elf with them. The elf pulled a cart of all of the furniture and heavy items Melisandria and Orana had purchased, the labor not seeming to faze him at all. When they reached the estate, Bodahn and Sandal came out to help bring things inside. They brought everything into the main room of the estate, leaving everything there until it was all unloaded. The young elf offered to help set things up and Melisandria and Orana graciously accepted. They began to bring everything in, one by one, to Orana's room and arranged things the way Orana wanted them.

After some time, Orana finally had a room that was suited to her. She thanked Melisandria many times, gratefully for the support and a home. Leaving Orana to herself, Melisandria went to her writing desk to check for letters. There was a note from Anders, asking her to come to the clinic. Grabbing her things, Melisandria went down to the cellar and entered Darktown. When she went through the door, Anders looked up and beckoned her over.

"Have you noticed how many Tranquil there are in the Gallows courtyard lately?" Anders asked. "And don't tell me I'm just sensitive to it. I've been watching and every day there are new Tranquil, selling their bloody wares. Good mages, too, ones I know passed their Harrowing."

"But that's against the law, right?" Melisandria asked. "Doesn't Chantry law say that all mages who pass their Harrowing can't be made Tranquil?"

Anders nodded. "Exactly. The templars are using the rite of Tranquility to silence those who speak against them. They are working on a deliberate plan to turn every mage in Kirkwall within the next three years."

"Anders, whatever you may think of templars, you can't imagine they're all so heartless." Melisandria said.

Anders shook his head. "They're worse. There are groups in Kirkwall who help those fleeing the Circle. I've talked to people on the inside. The plan is the work of a templar called Ser Alrik. I've had a run-in with him myself; he's the one who did the ritual on Karl. He's a nasty piece of work who likes to make mages beg."

"What happened between you and Ser Alrik?" Melisandria asked.

"I've been involved with an... underground resistance. Mages living free in Kirkwall who help others escape." Andes explained. "I can't tell you anymore, for your sake and theirs. You have too much involvement with the guard and nobility. Suffice it to say, I've been in the Gallows; I've seen his work first hand."

"What else do you know about Ser Alrik?" Melisandria asked.

"The Knight-Commander is at least sincere in her convictions." Anders said. "However misguided, she believes she is helping people. Ser Alrik is a sadist, cold-blooded as a lizard; he likes to experiment on mages, find out what it takes to push them into the arms of demons."

"Surely not all templars are that bad. Perhaps the blame could be then put on Ser Alrik?" Melisandria pointed out.

"That is my hope." Anders nodded. "If we bring the evidence of this plan to light, there must be men who'll stand against it. Perhaps even the grand cleric will finally be forced to act."

"So then how do we stop this from going any further?" Melisandria asked.

"My friends from the mage underground know a way inside, a secret entrance under the walls of the Gallows." Anders said, an urgency in his voice. "Come with me tonight, please! Help me find the evidence of Ser Alrik's "Tranquil Solution"."

"What do you mean by that?" Melisandria asked.

"That's what he calls it. His idea of a "peaceful" solution to the mage problem: to sunder the mind of every mage in the Free Marches. I'm told he's bringing his proposal to Val Royeaux, to the Divine herself. He would turn every mage in Thedas into a drooling simpleton, under his command." Anders said.

"Of course I will help you. I wouldn't let you face this alone." Melisandria replied.

Anders smiled. "You are the one bright light in Kirkwall. I have always been afraid of being made Tranquil, now more than ever and I am honored by your trust, Hawke. I'm ready to go whenever you are. Our entrance is concealed not far from here."

"Let's go, then." Melisandria said and followed Anders to the entrance.

As they neared the entrance, Varric and Fenris came up.

"What are you two doing here?" Melisandria asked.

"Blondie asked me to come down here, said he needed help and the extra man power. I thought bringing the elf would up our chances with whatever is going on." Varric replied.

Melisandria smiled at him and nodded. "We will need the extra help. Thank you for coming."

They entered the tunnels, Anders leading the way. They made their way through the tunnels, coming across a few lyrium smugglers here and there. They defeated them with ease and continued forward. As they got further ahead, voices began to echo, getting louder the closer they got. They hurried quietly to see what was going on and that was when they saw something that truly infuriated Anders to the point where Melisandria could feel Justice's energy radiating off of him. They came into the room of the cave, standing behind the group of templars surrounding a poor mage girl.

"No, please! I haven't done anything wrong!" the mage begged, backing away from a templar as he advanced on her.

"That's a lie." he said, leading Melisandria to the conclusion that he was Ser Alrik. "What do we do to mages that lie?"

"I just wanted to see my mum. No one told her where they were taking me." she said in defense.

Beside her, Melisandria saw Anders begin to glow blue.

"No, no this is their place!" he muttered to himself, talking to Justice. "We cannot-"

Ser Alrik continued to advance on the mage. "So you admit you attempted escape?" he drawled. "You know what happens to mage girls who don't toe the line around here, don't you?"

Falling to her knees, the mage begged, "Please, don't make me Tranquil! I'll do anything!"

Chuckling, Ser Alrik retorted, "That's right. Once you're Tranquil, you'll do anything I ask."

Not being able to stand another minute of this, Melisandria stepped forward. "What do you think you are doing to that poor girl? Get your filthy hands off her!"

"You fiends will never touch a mage again!" Anders said, though Melisandria knew that it was now Justice speaking.

The templars attacked and Melisandria and her companions fought back until every last one of the templars was dead. She would have preferred that no one die, but Melisandria knew they had no other choice.

Justice still in control, Anders said, "They will die! I will have every last templar for these abuses."

"Anders, the battle's over! They're all dead." Melisandria said, coming up to him.

"Every one of them will feel justice's burn." Anders, then turned and rushed up to the mage girl as she said to get away from her and called him a demon. "I am no demon! Are you one of them that you would call me such?"

"Anders, don't hurt her! That girl is a mage. We rescued her from being made Tranquil." Melisandria said, trying to get through Justice to her friend Anders.

"She is theirs! I can feel their hold on her!" Anders retorted.

"She's the reason you're fighting, Anders. Do not turn on her now." Melisandria tried again to reach the Anders she knew.

"Please, messere..." the mage pleaded.

Anders was losing control quickly and was about to attack the poor girl when he finally wretched control back from Justice's grasp and stumbled away from the girl. The girl took the chance to run away as Anders tried to regain himself.

"Maker, no. I almost... If you weren't here..." Anders said, his voice trembling as he realized what he had almost done. "I-I need to get out of here." And with that he ran off.

Sighing, Melisandria checked the bodies, trying to find something to incriminate Ser Alrik's "Tranquil Solution", anything that might put Anders' mind at ease. Finding the right papers on Ser Alrik, Melisandria and the others left the tunnels and made their way back to Darktown, where they were met by the mage girl.

"You- you saved my life, messere." the girl said, introducing herself as Ella. "What was that thing?"

"If you are referring to Anders, he is my friend. It's a long story, but suffice it to say that he is not a demon. He is only a very troubled man." Melisandria replied.

"Can I... go home now?" Ella asked.

"Find your parents, but don't stay there. You must leave Kirkwall; it isn't safe." Melisandria said.

"I know. There's nowhere in the city where Ser Alrik's men won't find me." Ella replied. "Thank you again, messere. Andraste herself must have put you in that room."

Melisandria watched as the girl left. Turning to Fenris and Varric, Melisandria said that she was going to go and check on Anders and give him the papers she found. As she walked away, Fenris felt a strange feeling in his gut, like something was going to happen to her, but he couldn't tell if it was good or bad.

Melisandria came into the clinic to find Anders rummaging through some papers, muttering "Trash." and "Keep." to himself.

"Anders, you need to calm down. You're upset; let's talk about it." she said.

Standing, Anders retorted, "Upset doesn't begin to cover it. You were the only thing that kept me from murdering an innocent girl!"

"Ella is alright, though. She is leaving Kirkwall to live a free life, Anders." Melisandria told him.

"It's all gone wrong. Justice and I. We're just a monster, same as any abomination." he said.

"That's not true. Yes, you almost completely lost control, but you stopped yourself. You aren't a monster, nor will you ever become one." Melisandria said, coming closer to him and trying to comfort him. "Even when you were losing control, you heard what I was saying. You knew, in your heart, that you had to stop."

"You have too much faith in me. Without you, I'd never have known who was there until it was too late." he replied, a sullen look playing across his face.

"That's what I'm here for, Anders, to make sure you remain yourself and don't lose yourself to Justice or the Templars. We mages need to stick together, after all." Melisandria said, trying to get him to smile.

"How can I fight for the freedom of mages, when I am the example of the worst that freedom brings?" Anders asked her, searching for answers.

"Mages are dangerous, Anders. That's why this has been so hard, for both of us." Melisandria said, putting a hand to his cheek. "Make yourself the proof that they can control their power."

Anders looked into her eyes, not sure what to do. "I don't know how." he said and put a hand to hers. "How can I even trust myself to heal anymore? What if that... creature of vengeance turns on a patient? Will he.. will I... resist? Or will I loose his fury?"

"Nothing will happen, Anders. The patients that come in here, they are not Templars, but people who truly need your help. Healing is something that you do best, never forget that." Melisandria replied.

Nodding, Anders asked, "Did you... find anything on Ser Alrik? Or was the "Tranquil Solution" just another of my delusions?"

"Yes, actually. It looks like the "Tranquil Solution" began and ended with Ser Alrik." Melisandria replied as she pulled the papers from her pack.

"Let me see that!" he said, taking the papers. "The Divine... rejected the idea. Meredith rejected the idea! This was... not what I expected. Perhaps I should try talking to the grand cleric. Maybe she's more reasonable than I thought."

With that, he walked away, talking to himself. Melisandria let him be and went home. When she walked inside, she took off her boots and set her staff near the front door. As she stretched and walked into the main room of the estate, she saw Fenris waiting by the fire.

"Fenris?" Melisandria asked, startled by his presence there.

He turned and walked over to her. "I have been thinking of you." he said and came to a stop fairly close to Melisandria. "In fact," he continued, "I have been able to think of little else. Command me to go, and I shall."

"Please don't go, Fenris." Melisandria said. "There's no need."

Fenris pulled her in and kissed her, his arms wrapping around her waist as she wrapped hers around his neck. They kissed for a short while before Fenris lifted her up and held her against him as he carried her upstairs to her room. Closing the door behind them, Fenris let Melisandria stand as they began to disrobe each other. Melisandria unhooked Fenris' armor, throwing it to the floor as he pulled the string that held her dress together. As the dress fell to the floor, Fenris pulled Melisandria in and felt her warm breasts press against his chest. They continued to kiss, pulling the last few pieces of clothing off of each other as they made their way to the bed. Fenris pushed Melisandria down onto the bed, pinning her arms above her head with one hand as his other hand explored her body.

Fenris felt the smooth skin and curvature of Melisandria's body, which only aroused him more. Her hair had fallen out of its partial bun and pooled around her, the moonlight making the black of her hair look like obsidian. Fenris looked at Melisandria for a moment, silently asking for permission to enter her. She nodded and pulled him in for another kiss. Fenris hooked Melisandria's legs around his hips as he slid himself inside of her. Wincing, Melisandria felt the pain of her virginity being taken. She bit back a yell of pain and her eyes began to water. Fenris asked if she was alright, wiping the tears away. Melisandria nodded and began to moan as Fenris began to move his hips back and forth. They continued to kiss and as they made love to each other, Melisandria and Fenris both thought that they could never be happier.

As the night progressed, Melisandria and Fenris were so intoxicated by pleasure that they began to lose themselves to it. As Fenris continued to move his hips back and forth, memories began to flood back- memories he had long forgotten with the pain of receiving his marks. As he reached his climax, every memory he had ever lost came flooding back in an instant and when he had pulled out of Melisandria just in time, the memories all vanished as quickly as they came. Exhausted, Fenris fell to the bed beside Melisandria, the pain unbearable. Melisandria tried to use her magik to ease the pain, but when she managed to finally do enough to where he was relaxed, Melisandria passed out, falling against Fenris' chest. They were both exhausted and passed out for a couple of hours, laying naked together on Melisandria's bed.

After some time, Fenris awoke abruptly, the pain briefly resurfacing. He swung his legs out of the bed and put his head in his hands. When the pain subsided again, Fenris got up and began to get dressed again. He then stood by the fire, waiting for Melisandria to wake up. When she did finally wake, she looked to her left and saw that Fenris wasn't in bed any longer. She looked over at him standing by the fireplace and sat up.

"Was it that bad?" she asked, pulling the covers to her chest.

"I'm sorry, it's not... It was fine." Fenris said, then shook his head. "No, that is insufficient. It was better than anything I could have dreamed."

"Was it the pain?" Melisandria asked. "Your markings hurt still, don't they?"

"It's not that." Fenris said. "I began to remember my life before. Just flashes. It's too much, this is too fast. I cannot do this."

Melisandria looked away for a moment. "What did you remember that could have been so bad?"

"I've never remembered anything before the ritual." Fenris explained. "There were faces, words. For just a moment, I could recall all of it. Then it slipped away."

"We could work on that, Fenris. I can help you remember things, if you let me." Melisandria said. "Don't you want to get your memories back?"

"Perhaps you don't realize how upsetting this is, Mel." he replied, turning away from her. "I've never remembered anything and to have it all come back in a rush, only to lose it... I can't... I can't..."

He looked at her for a moment as she said, "But, Fenris... I love you... I want to help you; we can work through this."

"I'm sorry, I feel like such a fool." he said, his head bowing in shame and sadness. "All I wanted was to be happy, just for a little while. Forgive me..." He walked away, leaving the one person who has been there for him through everything, the one person who looked passed the markings and saw who he was as a person, the only person he had ever let himself fall in love with.

As Fenris walked away, leaving her there alone, Melisandria hurried to get her robe and underclothes on and ran downstairs and out into the square, searching for him. She looked everywhere, standing barefoot on the cold stone, but couldn't see him anywhere.

"Fenris!" she called out just as rain began to fall.

She stood there for a moment, calling out to him a few more times before falling to her knees, crying her eyes out when no answer came. Melisandria had fallen in love with Fenris, never having anyone ever accept her the way he had, and now he had rejected her. Orana, Bodahn, and Leandra came outside, searching for her. Leandra ran to her daughter and hugged her, asking what was wrong. But when Melisandria looked up at her, she could see the heart break in her eyes.

"Oh, my poor baby..." she said and helped her daughter up, taking her inside.

As they reentered the estate, Fenris- who had been standing nearby, hidden, when Melisandria came outside and called his name- felt his chest tighten and he turned away, his heart and head heavy. This was something he never thought he would ever do to her, someone he loved with all his heart, which he regretted the instant he walked away. When he returned to his own home, he went to his chambers and threw his armor against the walls and on the floor. He punched the wall, severely bruising his hand. Ignoring the pain, he slunk to his bed and buried his face in his hands. Never before had he ever cried, but the pain of leaving Melisandria was nearly too much to bear. Fenris cried silently into his hands, his heart aching for her. He had allowed himself to let someone close, fell in love with a mage that had proven herself as a good person with no darkness in her heart, who wants to help people, and took her virginity, though he did not yet know it. He had no idea he had taken something so precious from her and did not yet know the ramifications of his actions. He felt awful, but the damages were already done. Fenris had no idea what the future would hold now that he pushed away the one thing he cared most about.


	8. Chapter 8

A few days had passed and Melisandria was still in bed, her heart broken. No one could get her out of bed, not even Isabela. Hammer sat next to her every day, protecting her in this fragile state. When she finally got enough energy to get out of bed, she got up begrudgingly. She felt like changing things up a little bit, so she looked through her clothes. Pulling out a dark red tunic, a leather waist cincher, black leggings, a pair of black leather boots, and her favorite sleeveless cloak, Melisandria got dressed, tying the waist cincher over the cloak. She brushed her hair, then braided it.

Finished getting ready, Melisandria grabbed a pair of fingerless gloves and pulled them on as she went downstairs. Bodahn and Orana looked up and smiled in relief, glad to see her up and about.

"Glad to see you're better, Mistress." Orana said, offering her some breakfast.

"I'm not hungry, Orana, but thank you." Melisandria replied.

Orana nodded and stood aside as Melisandria walked out of the estate, her staff in hand. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she felt like she just needed to walk around, clear her head. She hooked her staff on her back, and wandered around Kirkwall, just walking. She wandered to the docks, stopping in a far corner of the docks, near where they had slain Senestra the Snake, the lady who Keran and Macha's family owed money to. A group of thugs were nearby, watching Melisandria stand by herself, gazing out over the harbor.

"Hey there, sweetheart, care to have some fun?" one of them said, the lot of them coming up to her.

She ignored them, unintentionally, too. She was off in her own little world, trying to figure things out in her head.

"Oi, I'm talking to you," the thug said, grabbing her arm, startling her.

"Let me go, creep." she demanded and pulled her arm free, starting to walk away.

"I don't think so," another said, grabbing both of her arms, pulling them behind her.

"No! Let me go!" she yelled.

Nearby, someone heard her yelling and ran to the Hanged Man to fetch Varric and Isabela. "Mistress Hawke is in trouble, Varric. She needs help!" the boy said.

Varric nodded, grabbed Isabela and they followed the boy to where Melisandria was being attacked. The thugs were trying to rape her, pulling at her clothes. Varric and Isabela watched as Melisandria broke free, only to have one of the thugs grab her braid, pulling her back. She cried out in pain and Isabela swore like the sailor she was.

"Mel, we're coming!" Isabela yelled, throwing a dagger right at them. The dagger sliced through Melisandria's braid, cutting Melisandria free. Not caring about her hair being cut, Melisandria turned around and punched the thug who had grabbed her. She hit each of his pressure points and forced him to crumble to the ground. Varric, Isabela, and Melisandria fought off the thugs, only having to kill one or two of them. Melisandria cornered one of the thugs, the one who grabbed her initially.

"You will leave here immediately." she said, grabbing the dagger Isabela threw. "I never want to see you face or any of your idiot companions' faces in Kirkwall ever again. If I do, you're dead."

"You think we're scared of you?" the thug laughed.

Furious, she drew the dagger across the man's face, leaving a gash that ran the length of his face. The man screamed in pain.

"You still think I'm joking?" Melisandria demanded. "Leave now and never return."

The thug squirmed out of her reach and ran off, a trail of blood following him. Melisandria wiped the blade of the dagger on her cloak and handed it back to Isabela.

"Thank you, Isabela, Varric. I don't know what I would have done without you." she said.

"Hawke, what were you thinking coming here alone?" Varric asked. "You know how dangerous it is out here, especially for beautiful young woman."

Melisandria felt tears in her eyes. "I don't know, I just needed to think..." she said, putting her face in her hands.

Isabela pulled her into a hug, letting her cry as she glared at Varric. "Hush now, little Hawke." she said, trying to comfort her.

"I don't know what went wrong, Isabela." Melisandria said into her shoulder. "I gave him everything and he left me..."

"Fenris?" Isabela asked. "What exactly happened between you two?"

Melisandria looked up. "I gave him my innocence, Isabela. That night... I gave it to him and he left me..."

Isabela's eyes widened in shock. "You gave up your virginity to him and he left you?"

Melisandria nodded.

"Hawke, I'm not sure what to say here, I have no experience in this matter, but I'm sorry." Varric said.

Hawke managed a smile, but it soon faded. She was bleeding on her side. "I need to go see Anders." She said as she tried to hide it.

Isabela knew better and offered to help her down to Darktown and Varric went to go make sure that the thugs were really gone. Isabela helped Melisandria down to the clinic, getting there fairly quickly. Anders looked up and saw them come in, then saw the blood dripping from Melisandria. Her hair was shorter, so he didn't recognize her. Melisandria sank to her knees, passing out and dragged Isabela down with her.

"Little help here?" Isabela asked.

Anders hurried over and helped her take Melisandria to a cot. As they laid her down, Melisandria's head fell to the side, her hair falling away from her face.

"Mel!" Anders said in surprise. "What happened, Isabela?"

"From what Varric and I saw, Mel was out by herself at the docks and some thugs came up to her, grabbing her and tried to rape her. One of Varric's informants came to get us. When we got there, she was surrounded. She managed to break free for a moment, but one of them grabbed her hair, so I threw a dagger and it cut through her hair, letting her free. I didn't even see her get injured, but there were a lot of thugs, so I wouldn't be surprised."

Anders nodded. "She's unconscious, so it'll take some time. I'll take a look at her injury. Thank you for bringing her here."

Isabela nodded and left, deciding to go pay Fenris a visit. She walked through the streets of Darktown, up through Lowtown, and up into Hightown. She was furious that the one person she could call her best friend had been hurt so badly. She burst through the front door and marched up the stairs to the study, where she found Fenris sulking near the fireplace.

"How dare you, elf." she yelled, smacking Fenris across the cheek.

"What?" Fenris asked, his cheek pulsating.

"How dare you do that to her?" Isabela asked. "Mel told me what happened between you two. How could you be so heartless?"

Fenris' face fell and the pain in his cheek no longer bothered him. "I thought it best..."

"How could you be that stupid? You took her virginity, Fenris, did you know that?"

Fenris shook his head. "I had no idea." Now he felt even worse.

"Fenris, that poor girl is hurt. Bad. She walked into the most dangerous part of the docks and almost got raped. Varric and I had to come help her when one of his informants came to get us. She cut one her assailants' face as a warning and told them never to come back or she'd kill them." Isabela told him. "Does that sound like the sweet mage we all know and love? Does that sound like the Mel who always keeps her cool, tries to find the most diplomatic solution to every problem?"

Fenris looked up at her, the pain of leaving her clear in his eyes. "I left to protect her. I started to remember things when we... I just didn't want to risk her getting hurt..."

Isabela rolled her eyes. "Fenris, you know that girl loves you. Yet, in trying to protect her from being hurt, you do the worst possible things: take her virginity and break her heart."

Fenris didn't know what to say. Isabela sighed. "Don't ever hurt her again." she said and left.

Fenris sat there feeling even worse than before. He stared at the fire, thinking things over. He grabbed a bottle of wine and sat there, drinking straight from the bottle as he mulled things over in his head.

Meanwhile, back in the clinic, Anders was working on Melisandria's wounds. She had been stabbed pretty deep into her right side, but Anders removed her waist cincher and moved the tunic out of the way to clean the wound. He tried to be gentle, but he was able to patch her up. He sat there and waited for Melisandria to wake up. After about an hour, Melisandria stirred, sitting up and wincing.

"Easy, Mel." Anders said.

"What happened? Last I remember I was at the docks." she said, a hand at her side.

"Isabela brought you in. You were stabbed in the side when you fought off the thugs who attacked you. You passed out right as you got here." he explained.

"How long have I been out?" Melisandria asked.

"Only about an hour or so." Anders said, handing her some water. "You need to be more careful, Mel."

"Anders, I've told you before, don't worry so much." Melisandria said, managing a smile.

"Mel, you have to be careful, especially around the docks. What if something worse had happened to you? I don't know what I would have done."

"Anders, you've been so good to me. Thank you for everything." Melisandria said.

Varric came in with a grim look on his face. "Hawke, I have some bad news."

"What is it Varric?" she said, trying to stand.

"You may want to stay seated, Hawke. It's about Carver." he said, handing her a letter. "I got this at the Hanged Man, thought you should see it."

Melisandria took the letter and saw that it was addressed to her, regarding Carver. As she read it, her heart sank:

"To the Hawke family,

In regards to Carver Malcolm Hawke:

I am not pleased to inform you that Carver did not survive the Joining.

He was buried here in Fereldan with honors,

having requested to be buried alongside his comrades at Ostagar.

Enclosed is a dagger he wished to be delivered to you.

I am truly sorry for you loss; we did what we could to save Carver.

My condolences to you and your family.

~Ser Stroud of the Grey Wardens"

"Carver..." she said, tears spilling from her eyes. "I'm so sorry..."

Anders put a hand on her knee, but Melisandria fell into his shoulder, sobbing. Anders was surprised, but he pulled her into his arms and held her. Varric said he was going to take the letter to Leandra and left the two alone in the clinic. Anders sat there for a while, letting Melisandria cry into his robes.

"Mel, I am so sorry. I thought that Carver would be able to survive the Joining." he said when she seemed to calm down a bit.

"I don't understand what happened... Carver was so strong... he should have been able to survive something like that..." she said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Anders tucked her hair behind her ear. "I thought he'd be ok, but I guess I was wrong."

"What am I going to do with Mother? She's going to be so broken hearted." Melisandria said.

"You should go home, Melisandria. Be with your mother; she's going to need you." Anders said.

Melisandria put her hand on his cheek and pressed her forehead against his. "Thank you, Anders. For everything." She kissed his forehead and left.

Anders could still feel the warmth of her kiss on his forehead and the warmth of her breath on his face. He sighed, not sure how things would play out.


	9. Chapter 9

It had been weeks since the Hawke family got word of Carver. Melisandria and Leandra were both heartbroken at the loss of yet another of the Hawke family. Leandra was going to see Gamlen one day, but she never showed. Melisandria was reading upstairs when she heard Gamlen yelling.

"What's the matter, Uncle?" she asked.

"Where's your mother? Is she feeling alright?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm sure that she's alright. What's this about?"

"Your mother didn't show up for our weekly visit. Is she ill? She is here, isn't she?" he demanded.

"No, Gamlen, we haven't see her all day." Bodahn said.

"Where could she be?" Gamlen wondered.

"With her suitor, perhaps?" Bodahn suggested.

"Suitor? Leandra never mentioned a suitor." Gamlen scoffed.

"Well, those lilies arrived for her this morning." Bodahn said, pointing to the side table with a vase of white lilies.

"Wait, white lilies... that sounds familiar; I know something about that." Melisandria began.

"Well, don't keep me waiting. What is it?" Gamlen demanded.

"There's a killer in Kirkwall who sends his victims white lilies before he takes them." Melisandria explained, a look of worry on her face. "He's murdered several women already. I know someone who can help: Gascard Du Puis."

"No, you're wrong. Leandra is fine." Gamlen said in denial.

"Ignoring the facts doesn't change them, Uncle." Melisandria retorted.

"But you don't know for sure if she's in trouble. Maybe... maybe Leandra took another path to my house. I could have just missed her. I'm going back to Lowtown." Gamlen said and left in a hurry.

Bodahn suggested that Melisandria go and look for her mother, help Gamlen find her. Thankfully, Melisandria was fairly ready to go, having dressed in a blue tunic, brown leggings, and black boots. She grabbed her sleeveless cloak and staff. She hurried out, grabbing her pack from by the front door. She was hesitant, but she headed straight to Fenris' mansion. She opened the door and stepped into the main room.

"Fenris, are you home? I need your help." she called.

Fenris came out of the study and saw Melisandria standing there. "What is it, Melisandria?"

"My mother is missing and she received white lilies like those other women when we helped that templar Emeric with the murder case." she explained. "I wouldn't have come if I didn't really need your help."

Fenris felt his chest tighten, knowing how hard this must be for her. "I understand. Let me grab a few things."

"Actually, can you meet me at Anders' clinic? I'm going to ask Varric for his help, then Anders as well. I need to find Gascard Du Puis, and as I recall he said he'd be in Darktown." Melisandria said.

Fenris nodded and watched as Melisandria left, a pained and worried look on her face. He got his things together, then headed down to the clinic.

Meanwhile, Melisandria went to the Hanged Man to ask Varric for his help. Varric agreed and they hurried to the clinic. Fenris was already there and was having a glaring match with Anders. Anders was relieved to see her and Varric walk in.

"Mel, what's going on? Out of the middle of nowhere, this elf shows up in my clinic and doesn't say why he's here other than you asked him to meet you here." Anders asked, frustrated with Fenris.

"My mother is missing, Anders. She got white lilies this morning and hasn't been seen all day. I wanted you, Fenris, and Varric to help me find her and make sure she is OK."

"White lilies? Oh, Maker, Mel, I'm so sorry." Anders said, remembering what happened with Emeric.

"I need to find Gascard Du Puis and he's somewhere here in Darktown. Will you help me?" Melisandria asked.

Anders nodded. "Of course, it's the least I could do for you."

"Then let's not waste more time." Fenris said.

Melisandria nodded and they went to search for Gascard. Finding him, Melisandria called out to him and came to a stop next to him.

"Hawke," he said in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

"Gascard, my mother received flowers this morning. White lilies..." Melisandria said. "I need your help to find the killer, to find my mother before it's too late."

"Do you remember Alessa? As I predicted, he took her not long after you found us." Gascard explained, leaning on a nearby railing. "I have enough of her blood for one ritual to track them and it will lead us straight to the killer."

"Do it, please. Use the blood. I need to find my mother. Maybe it won't be too late for Alessa if we get there soon enough." Melisandria said, though if her mother really is the next victim then the chances of Alessa still being alive were very slim.

"Stand back; if there is anything of Alessa left in this world, this ritual will find her." Gascard said, pulling a dagger from his belt, slicing his hand.

Something came over him, levitating him before the glow around him burst, throwing him to the ground. Melisandria helped him to his feet and when he could walk, he led the way to the foundry where they had found the bag of bones and Ninette's wedding ring.

"You've been here before, haven't you?" Varric asked Melisandria.

"This is where Emeric's investigation led. There was someone here, but he ran off and we were attacked by shades. I found bits of the missing women, as well as the wedding ring of one of the victims, Ninette. Her husband had hired me to try and find her, bring her back home." Melisandria said.

"I wonder if we'll find something other than a bag of bones this time." Anders said.

"Mother must be here somewhere. We need to look around." Melisandria said as they progressed forward.

As they made their way through the halls of the foundry, they were attacked by shades and abominations. They fought their way into a large room, and when they were all gone, Melisandria saw someone to her left.

"Mother!" she cried out, running to the woman who was laying on a wooden table. She turned the woman onto her back and saw that it wasn't her mother. "Alessa!" She knew that they would be too late, but she had hoped.

Shaking her head, she left Alessa's corpse and went on ahead of the others as they followed closely behind. After a short while, Melisandria stopped, seeing something shiny on the ground. "I recognize this locket; it belonged to Mother. She wouldn't willingly part with it; it was a gift to her from my grandmother." she said and knew that they were getting close.

They moved forward down a large set of stairs, only to be met by more shades and abominations. When they were gone, Melisandria looked around at what looked like a shrine filled with furniture and a large portrait of a woman was hung above the fireplace.

"What is this?" she asked in disbelief at the portrait. "The woman in the painting, she... she almost l-looks like Mother."

"A shrine dedicated to a wife? A sister?" Anders suggested.

Anders knew the look that Melisandria had on her face. It was the look she had when Carver went with the Wardens, when Fenris had left her, when she had gotten news of Carver's death. He watched her walk away as she insisted on finding her mother.

They continued forward, going down another set of stairs and into a larger room where a man stood in front of someone sitting in a chair. Melisandria recognized his robes- he was the one who ran from the foundry when they first found the bones.

"I was wondering when you would show up." he said. "Leandra was so sure that you would come for her."

"You bastard, I am going to kill you!" Melisandria said, feeling the rage and pain and fear well up inside of her.

"I was afraid you might say that." Quentin said.

Gascard stepped forward. "Quentin!"

"Gascard! So you've reached me after all these years?" Quentin said, recognizing him. "I figured you gave up."

"You lying dirt bag!" Melisandria said, backing away from Gascard. "You knew his name this whole time? Why didn't you tell me his name was Quentin?"

"I had other things on my mind." he said. "You promised you would teach me, Quentin; you're going to deliver on that promise."

Melisandria couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I promised to teach you," Quentin said. "But I didn't promise to teach you everything."

Melisandria looked at Gascard. "I trusted you, Du Puis, gave you the benefit of the doubt. I knew that I should have trust my instincts instead of listening to what my mind told me. You knew all along and you let him do this? You are as much at fault for what happened to those women, to my mother. You'll pay for this deception."

"I didn't deceive you totally. The plan was always to kill Quentin and we can still work together. Once he's dead, you'll have your mother back and his research and writings will be mine."

Melisandria shook her head, her anger getting so intense that she was afraid that she would become an abomination.

"I'm sorry, Gascard," Quentin began to say. "When my wife died, I lost all hope. I wasn't able to be the mentor you deserved." He looked at Gascard. "But now that my work is finished, I can teach as you as I always meant to. Come back to me, Gascard."

"You'll let me be part of this? You'll teach me the secrets of necromancy?" Gascard began to say, but a bolt shot through his throat. Varric came up and pulled the bolt out of Gascard's throat.

"What?" he said, shrugging when Melisandria looked at him. "You were going to do that, right?"

Quentin looked back at the person sitting in the chair. "You will never understand my purpose. Your mother was chosen because she was special, and now she is part of something greater."

"Spare me the demented rambling. Where is she?" Melisandria demanded, drawing her staff from its sheath with one hand and pulling out Carver's dagger with the other.

"She is here, she is waiting for you." Quentin replied, looking behind him. "I have done the impossible. I have touched the face of the Maker and lived."

Melisandria shook her head in disbelief, her anger fading and her fear for her mother growing.

"Do you know what the strongest force in the universe is?" Quentin said. "Love. I pieced her together from memory. I found her eyes, her skin, her delicate fingers, and finally her face. Oh, this beautiful face! I searched far and wide to find you again, beloved, and no force on this earth will part us! "

The person in the chair stood, revealing that is was a woman, but when the woman turned around, Melisandria's heart dropped. "Mother, no!"

The woman was Leandra, but she looked like she was in pieces, stitched together like a doll. Melisandria felt tears stinging her eyes and she felt her anger well up again. Not caring if she became an abomination, she rushed at Quentin, only to be stopped by dozens of shades and abominations, as well as desire demons that had possessed the spirits of Leandra, Ninette, and Alessa, and corpses. Having no other choice, Melisandria turned and focused her anger into her magik, not letting it consume her but instead channel it into energy that she used against her enemies. She fought and fought, scaring Varric, Fenris, and Anders with her attacks. They knew she was angry, but when the enemies were all defeated save Quentin, they saw a whole new and terrifying side of her that not even she knew she had.

Turning to where Quentin had teleported himself, Melisandria threw Carver's dagger at him, hitting him square in the middle of his deranged face. The man who had killed some many women and had practically killed her mother was in turn killed by Melisandria and Carver by extension of his dagger, avenging their mother. Melisandria pulled the dagger from the bastard's skull and turned to see that Leandra had stumbled over to her. As she fell, Melisandria called to her as she caught her in her arms, kneeling on the ground as she cradled her dying mother in her arms.

"There's nothing I can do," Anders said. "His magik was the only thing keeping her alive."

"I can't let her die like this!" Melisandria said. She summoned all of her spare magikal energy and used the strongest healing spell she knew, pushing the spell into Leandra's body but to no avail. She somehow ended up reopening the wound that Anders had healed a few weeks earlier. Ignoring the blood gushing out of her side, Melisandria looked at her mother, tears falling onto her tortured face.

"I knew you would come." Leandra managed to say.

"Mother, I'm sorry! I tried to find you!" Melisandria said.

"Shh." Leandra said. "Don't fret, darling. That man would have kept me trapped in here, but now I am free." Leandra reached up to her face with great difficulty. "I never told you how much I liked your hair this way. You are so beautiful. Don't worry, Mel. I will get to see Bethany, Carver, and your father again. But you'll be all alone."

"I failed you, Mother. I'm so sorry. I failed Bethany, I failed Carver, and now I have failed you, too." Melisandria said through the sobs she was trying to hold back.

"My little girl has become so strong." Leandra said, managing a pained smile. "I love you. You've always made me so proud..."

And with those last words, Leandra took her last breath and the small light that had lingered in her eyes vanished. Melisandria laid her mother gently on the ground and stood. She stepped back to her companions and summoned a fire spell, pushing herself past her limits and engulfing her mother in flames. She then summoned an ice spell, one that is effective with fire spells, and tossed it into the flames. Melisandria stood there, watching her mother's body burn as her companions stood there helpless. They stood there until the flames were dead and as the smoke cleared, they saw a pile of crystalized ashes where Leandra's body had been. Melisandria's combinations of the two spells created a unique pairing that resulted in the hot ashes of Leandra turning into tiny ice crystals that shined as bright as her smile had in life. Then, summoning a wind spell, she directed the wind to pick up the ashes and fly out a nearby window and out towards the sea.

"Hawke..." Varric said, putting a hand on her arm.

"Let's get out of here." Melisandria said, her voice hurt, heartbroken, angry, and icy and the tears stinging her eyes. "I need to tell Gamlen that Mother is gone."

Melisandria turned and began to walk away, but Anders noticed blood dripping behind her. He wasn't sure if it was her own or if it was the blood of the abominations and other dark creatures they had just killed. They were all covered in their blood. He was just about to say something to her, but Fenris glared at Anders because of the way he was looking at her, only to receive a smirk in return. Varric could feel the tension and pushed them in separate directions, trying to minimize any potential fighting. They then walked in silence and soon enough, were back in Lowtown and went their separate ways. Fenris followed close behind Melisandria, only taking a different path when he knew she made it home safely before he himself went home.

Melisandria tried to heal the wound enough to hide it from her uncle and she found Gamlen back at her estate, waiting for her. She sat in the chair closest to the fireplace in the library as Gamlen came down from the upper library floor.

"Did you find her?" he asked, sounding hopeful.

"She's dead, Uncle, murdered." Melisandria said, trying to be strong for her last remaining relative.

Gamlen's face fell. "You were right about the flowers, about everything. I-I can't believe she's gone."

"I'm sorry, Uncle. I know it hurts, but Mother wouldn't want us to dwell on it." Melisandria replied.

"I'm not you." Gamlen retorted. "I can't just shove my grief into a corner and forget it."

Standing, Melisandria looked at her uncle with tears in her eyes. "Is that what you think I am doing? I am trying to be strong for the both of us, like Mother would have wanted. You and I are the only family we have left and I can't say that I am proud of that. I have lost my father, my sister, my brother, and now my mother, too. You may have some idea what that's like from losing your mother and father and your sister, but you weren't there, Gamlen. You didn't see what that monster did to my mother!" she retorted right back at him. "I tried to save her, I tried with every ounce of magik that I could muster and used the strongest healing spell I had to try and save her, but she was already far beyond saving. I held her in my arms, listening to her last words. I burned her body and sent her ashes to the sea because I knew that she loved the sea and I knew that you couldn't handle the sight of her if you saw what that bastard did to her."

Taken aback, Gamlen suddenly felt ashamed of himself. "W-Why her? Why Leandra?"

"Would it make you feel better if I told why?" Melisandria asked.

Gamlen shook his head. "No, it wouldn't. Did you at least make him pay?"

"I killed him with no mercy. I made him pay dearly for what he did to her." Melisandria told him.

"Good, I hope it hurt." he replied. "You've had a long day, so I'll leave you to yourself. Take care, my dear." Then he left, never thinking to return to the estate again.

Fighting back her tears, Melisandria couldn't bear it anymore. She ran up to her room, closing the door and let herself cry. She cried harder than the night that Fenris had left her, sobbing into her hands. She felt as if she could fill the entire harbor with the tears she was shedding. A knock came from the door and Fenris walked in.

"I'm not sure what to say, but I am here if you need me." he said and came to sit on the bed.

"Is it my fault, Fenris? Is there something that I could have done differently that would have kept Mother alive?" she asked, searching his eyes for answers. When he was silent, she looked away saying, "Say something... Anything..."

"I hear they say death is only a journey." Fenris said.

"I suppose they also say that you return to the Maker's side when you die." Melisandria said.

"I have heard that as well," Fenris replied. "Though I do not think that filling this time with empty talk is going to help much."

Knowing he was right, Melisandria put her hands to her face and sighed. She didn't know what to do, what to say, or how she was going to get through this. Gamlen was her only family left now, but she knew he blamed her for Leandra's death even if he didn't say it. Fenris sat next to her for a while, silent. He looked at her, seeing that she was holding back her tears, her sorrow, keeping it bottled up inside. He moved his hand to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, not realizing that he was doing it. Melisandria looked at him, her face full of pain and loss. Fenris felt his heart get heavy at the sight of her looking like that.

"I should go." he said, starting to stand.

Melisandria grabbed his hand for a moment, stopping him. "Fenris... whatever has happened between us... I'm glad that I still have you in my life... I need you..."

Fenris squeezed her hand. "I will always be here for you." he said. "Would you like me to stay?"

He almost sounded hopeful, but Melisandria shook her head. "It's alright, Fenris. I appreciate you coming, but you don't have to stay."

Fenris nodded and left. Melisandria followed him to the balcony and watched as he went down the stairs and left the estate, never looking back. Melisandria's heart ached, but she couldn't cry the pain out. Something was keeping her from crying, from relieving herself of everything that was bottled up inside of her. She felt her head pounding, so she went to lay down and try to get some sleep. She lay in bed, staring at the fabric of her canopy. She didn't know how long she stared at the fabric, but she somehow managed to fall asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning, Melisandria woke up feeling worse than before. She changed out of her clothes and drew a hot bath, letting her body slip into the near boiling water. The hot water felt wonderful on her aching body, the steam rising from the water relaxed her. Orana knocked on the door and came in.

"Mistress, would like me to bring you anything?"

"Could you bring some elfroot in here?" Melisandria asked. "Crush it up in a mortar bowl, or get some elfroot powder. I can mix it up in the water and it'll help me relax."

Orana nodded and went to the kitchen and found a jar of powdered elfroot, grabbed it and brought it up to Melisandria's room.

"Thank you, Orana." Melisandria said.

"How much would you like in the water, Mistress?" Orana asked, opening the jar.

"There should be a spoon inside the jar. If you wouldn't mind, three spoonfuls should do." Melisandria said.

Orana nodded and did as she was instructed. "Anything else?"

"No, thank you. Just let me know if anyone asks for me?" Melisandria said.

"Of course, Mistress." Orana said with a smile. "I am sorry about your mama, Mistress." she added, her smile fading. "I will miss her."

Melisandria managed a sad smile. "I will, too. Thank you, Orana."

Orana nodded and left Melisandria to herself. Melisandria mixed the elfroot with her fingers, letting the healing properties of the herb soak into her skin and the fragrant aroma fill her nostrils as she breathed in deeply. She slid her whole body into the water, ducking her head underneath the surface to allow the most absorption of elfroot into her skin.

She stayed underneath the water for as long as she could and then resurfaced and sat in the tub until it started to get cold, then continued to sit there. She didn't mind the cold, in fact it felt just as good as the hot water against her skin. She felt the sting of salty tears as they left invisible stains of sorrow, pain, loss, and heart break on her face. Melisandria used a fire spell to heat the water back up and she heated it until it steamed and steamed, evaporating the water completely within the tub. She sat there for a bit longer, just in the empty tub until her buttocks hurt, then she climbed out of the tub. She felt her wound reopen as she stood and winced, trying to heal it shut again with a healing spell. It healed shut so she dressed in a black tunic with silver stitching and gray leggings. She pulled a pair of black boots and brushed out her hair. She touched the wolf head amulet at her chest plate and sighed. She needed to be somewhere alone, somewhere that no one would bother her, so she grabbed her staff and Carver's dagger and headed downstairs to the front door. Hammer wanted to come along, so Melisandria let him.

They walked through the streets of Hightown, passing by Fenris' mansion. Fenris had been standing by the window that looked over the streets as Melisandria walked by. He looked out the window and watched as she stopped to say hello to Liam and his friends. Fenris saw her smile, but he saw her pain and sadness. When the children ran off, Fenris watched as she stood and wrapped her arms around herself. He could see her tears beginning to slip from her eyes as she turned and hurried away.

Melisandria made her way through the streets and out into the Free Marches. She went to the moon flower grove and she found a secluded spot, up on a small cliff. She pulled her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around herself. She tried to contain her tears, but she couldn't and she let them flow like river waters. Hammer, below her, kept watch as he let his companion cry. He stood alert as she cried her sorrow and pain out. Melisandria couldn't take any more of the pain: the pain of losing Bethany, the pain of losing Carver, the pain of loving Fenris with all of her heart and being rejected by the one person she gave everything to, and the pain of losing her mother. All of the pain and suffering she had to go through since the Blight came pouring out of her all at once. Her heart ached, her mind reeled; everything just came crashing down around her. Her whole world was being turned upside down and spun in all directions. She had no one left in the world who understood her, no one in the world who knew her and how to help her. No one, not one person…

It was a quiet day in the clinic, so Anders had decided to go into the Free Marches to gather some healing herbs. He wandered through the marches, gathering up what he could find, only stopping when he noticed Hammer standing guard nearby.

"Hammer, what are you doing here?" he asked, coming up to the mabari.

Hammer looked up at the mage, then towards the cliff above them where Melisandria was sitting, whining a little.

"Hawke is up there?" Anders asked.

The mabari seemed to nod and let Anders go up and continued to stand guard.

As he reached the top of the cliff where his friend sat, her face buried in her arms as they encircled her knees, he reached out a gentle hand to her. "Hawke?"

"What have I told you, Anders? Don't call me Hawke, it's too formal."

Anders smiled in relief, but it quickly faded when he saw her face. Her eyes were red from crying and her cheeks were flushed. She looked like she had let everything out of her, everything she kept bottled up to be strong for everyone else. "Are you alright?"

She nodded. "I needed to get away for a while, just to be alone. I couldn't take it anymore and it just poured out of me."

He sat down next to her and put an arm around her. "I'm sorry about everything. You've been through so much and I am so sorry I cannot help you more."

"Anders, you've always been there for me, always listened to me, always helped me without question. You've done more than enough for me." Melisandria said, settling in against Ander's chest. "Thank you…"

"For what?"

"For being here. For taking care of me."

Anders smiled and hugged her tightly. "Are you going to be alright?"

"In time, yes." Melisandria said. "I've lost everything and everyone that I ever loved. I have no one left now that Mother is gone."

"That's not true." Anders said. "You have Varric, Isabella, Hammer, Bodahn Fedic and his boy, Orana, your uncle Gamlen, Aveline. You even have that broody elf, Fenris."

Melisandria looked up at him and smiled. "I guess that means I have you, too, then?"

Anders kissed her forehead. "Always. Melisandria, no matter what happens, I will always be here for you."

Melisandria looked up at him, searching his eyes. Anders had always been there for her, no matter what. He was always helpful, saved her life a few times, and was always appreciative and grateful when she helped him. He was a mage, just like her, one who faced the same persecution as she did, and had been through just as much as she had. He had seen the Blight, full on, while she had to lose her entire family to the evils of the world. He knew what she was going through better than anyone else they knew.

As Melisandria searched his eyes, Anders searched hers and the exact same thoughts crossed his mind. She was beautiful and the more time he spent with her, fought with her, healed with her the more he fell in love with her. He knew that her heart belonged to Fenris, but he knew that the elf had broken her heart and left her.

"What would I ever do without you, Anders?" Melisandria said with a soft smile.

"Well, you wouldn't have anyone to talk to now would you?"

Melisandria giggled at that and rested her head against his shoulder. "You're the best, Anders. You're always there no matter what. You always seem to know what to say."

Anders rubbed her shoulder and sighed.

"Can we stay like this, for a little bit longer?" Melisandria asked.

Anders nodded, a soft smile on his lips. "Of course."

And so they sat there, Anders holding Melisandria, for a few hours. The sun was starting to set and Anders sat up with Melisandria.

"We should get you home." He said, helping her up.

Melisandria was tired, but she took Anders' hand and held onto it tightly. He helped her down the cliff side, but she winced and put her other hand to her side.

"Damn…" she said, looking at the blood on her hand.

Anders saw the blood and sat her down on a boulder. "Mel, you should have told me you reopened it. When did this happen?"

"After Mother died… I tried to ignore it, but it keeps reopening no matter how many times that I healed it. Could you take a look at it? I feel that with all that's happened, my magik isn't working properly."

Anders nodded and looked at her wound. He couldn't understand how she could have reopened a wound healed with magik. Shaking his head, he healed the wound close and helped her to stand before he led her back into town. Hammer followed closely behind, sticking as close to Melisandria as he could. As they walked, Melisandria slid her hand into Anders' and held on firmly. Anders smiled at her and squeezed her hand gently, trying to comfort her. They walked together, hand in hand, back to the Amell estate.

"Anders, would you like to come in? There's something I want to show you." Melisandria asked.

Anders nodded and followed her inside. Hammer trotted in behind them and went over to the fireplace. Melisandria led Anders into the cellar and to the door that led into Darktown.

"Here." Melisandria said, handing him the key to the cellar door. "This door leads into Darktown, just outside of your clinic. Carver and I found it when we first came to Kirkwall, when Mother told us about it. She had asked us to find some documents her parents left in the estate when they died. Occasionally, this is how I get to Darktown to come and see you."

"I can't take this, Mel." Anders said, trying to hand it back.

"Please, I want you to take it." She insisted, closing his hand around it. "I want you to be able to come and go as you please, and if they come for you in Darktown, you need this key to come here. I want you to have a place to escape to if they come for you. I want you to be safe and this is the only thing that I can think of to keep you safe."

Anders looked at her, taking in her beauty as the candle lights danced off her skin. "Mel, I…"

Melisandria shook her head. "Anders, please. I can't lose anyone else. Bethany, Carver, Fenris, and now Mother… Please, Anders, take it. As long as you still have this key, you are always safe here."

Anders saw the urgency in her eyes, as she pleaded silently with him. He nodded. "Very well."

"Thank you." She said, relieved. She looked up at him, smiling. "This means you can come visit me whenever you want, too."

Anders smiled, cupping her chin in his fingers. "I may just have to, now."

Melisandria's smile grew bigger. She kissed his cheek and looked at him. "You better. I miss our talks. Now, would you like to stay for dinner?"

Anders thought a moment, then shook his head. "I wish I could, but I should get back to the clinic." He saw her face fall, immediately regretting it. "I'll come see you for breakfast, how about that?"

Melisandria perked back up a little and nodded. "See you in the morning, then?"

Anders smiled. "In the morning."

Melisandria watched as he left the cellar and climbed down the ladder into Darktown. She turned back to the cellar and went back to her room. She sat in her armchair by the fireplace and picked up a book. As she started to read it, Orana brought up a tray of food for her.

"Mistress, are you hungry?" she asked, standing there with the tray in her hands.

"Oh, thank you, Orana. You can just set it on the table here." Melisandria said, motioning to the side table next to her.

Orana looked at the book her mistress was reading. She hadn't learned to read, never having needed it as a slave. "What do you have there, Mistress?"

Melisandria looked at the book. "It's about Shartan. He was the elf slave who rose up against the ruling powers of Kirkwall and his uprising freeing the city. I was going to give it to Fenris- I thought he might like it- but I don't think it would be appropriate now."

"Why is that?"

"Well, Fenris and I aren't together. We don't talk anymore."

"You should take it to him anyway. I think he would enjoy it nonetheless."

Melisandria smiled sadly, knowing that she was right. "I'll take it to him tomorrow."

Orana smiled and bid her a goodnight. Melisandria went back to reading her book. Maybe Orana was right, she thought to herself. As she enjoyed the dinner Orana had brought her, Melisandria began to think about Fenris, something of which she hadn't done for weeks.

Memories of him came flooding back and she felt tears in her eyes. She still loved Fenris with all her heart and knew she might never move on or find anyone to make her as happy as Fenris did, but she still needed him in her life. She thought more and more on it and while she would always love Fenris, she knew she may never get him back. She knew that she would eventually have to move on. Perhaps spending some time with him would help her work through whatever she needed to work through in regards to the man she loved. Noticing how late it had gotten, Melisandria set her dishes to the side and placed the book next to her as she laid down on the bed. She looked up at the canopy of her bed and stared at the deep red fabric. She stared for so long that she watched the last embers of the fire die out. Rolling onto her side, Melisandria closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

A knock sounded on the door and Fenris looked up as Melisandria stepped into the study.

"Fenris?"

"Hawke, what is it?"

"Fenris…"

Fenris realized he had reverted back to old ways. "Forgive me. It has been some time since we last spoke."

"It's alright." Melisandria replied. She pulled the book out from her pack and handed it to Fenris. "This is for you. It's a book on a subject you are familiar with. The book is about Shartan, the elf who helped Andraste free the slaves. You know about him, right?"

Fenris nodded. "A little. It's just that slaves are not permitted to read. I never learned."

"It's not too late to learn, Fenris. I can teach you, if you wish."

"Isn't it? Sometimes I wonder." Fenris said, then saw Melisandria's face fall. He had already put her through so much, but he could see that even through everything she had suffered through in the weeks passed, she was still trying to include him in her life. "I don't mean to seem ungrateful, Mel. I do appreciate the thought."

Melisandria looked up at him and smiled a little.

"I have always wanted to learn more of Shartan." Fenris added, his mood lightening at the sight of her smile. "Perhaps this is my chance."

"I can teach you whenever you want. If you want me to." Melisandria offered. "You don't have to if you don't wish to, but I have read this book many, many times and I thought perhaps you might like to have it."

Fenris looked from her to the leather bound book. Melisandria had come all the way to his home, just to bring him the Book of Shartan herself when she could have sent Orana or Bodahn to bring it to him. She came to see him, to give him something special to her, to offer him a chance to learn how to read and to spend time with him. As he realized how much pain she must be in to even be in the room with him, Fenris looked back up at her and searched her eyes. She looked at him for a moment, then towards the fire. He wondered if she was alright, if she had forgiven him, if she even cared for him still.

The light of the fire in the hearth danced across the mage's face, illuminating her fair skin, elfroot green eyes, and raven black hair. Fenris never really noticed how it looked being so much shorter than before, but as it fell in short waves around her face, framing her cheeks and jawline, he realized how much he liked it. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and looked up at him.

"I will accept you help." Fenris said, simply longing to be near her again. "Will you teach me how to read, Mel?"

Melisandria smiled at him, tiredly. "Of course, Fenris."

"When would you like to start?"

"I do not have plans today." She replied. "If you are not busy, we could start now. Else, we can wait until tomorrow."

"I was not planning on going anywhere, so we may start now."

Melisandria smiled and sat on the couch and patted the spot next to her. "Come and sit."

Fenris sat down next to her and opened up to the first page of the book.

"Alright, we shall start out small." Melisandria said, then she began to teach Fenris how to recognize each written word and sound them out, one at a time.


End file.
